ZAPPA’isms
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Topic: ZAPPA’isms
Posted By: DallasBryan
Subject: ZAPPA’isms
Date Posted: April 19 2005 at 21:00
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1. Jazz is not dead...it just smells funny.
2. Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe. 3. There is no hell. There is only France. 4. Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up. 5. Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. 6. It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner. 7. A mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work if it's not open. 8. If we can't be free at least we can be cheap. 9. Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better. 10. You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. 11. There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved. 12. Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph. 13. Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are? 14. Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport 15. You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football - WE EVOLVED! 16. You have just destroyed one model XQJ-37 nuclear powered pansexual roto-plooker....and you're gonna have to pay for it. 17. Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?" FZ: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?" 18. Without deviation from the norm, 'progress' is not possible. 19. It's better to have something to remember than nothing to reget... 20. Who are the brain police? 21. The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway. 22. There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another. 23. I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white. 24. Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them in the ass. 25. Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. |
Replies:
Posted By: beterdedthnred4
Date Posted: April 19 2005 at 21:08
| That is the best list of Zappaisms I've seen in lo these many years. I especially love the one about the wooden leg and the table. |
Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: April 19 2005 at 21:13
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Yeah so true, can also be a chair, so it is prejudice
Nice list, good fun
------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
beterdedthnred4 wrote:
Posted By: Joren
Date Posted: April 19 2005 at 21:14
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Yeah, that one is very funny. I've heard it before though. |
Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: April 19 2005 at 21:22
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Great list! May I add: 26. My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. 27. Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there. 28. Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so long as it doesn't cause a murder. 29. A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a licence to behave like an asshole. 30. You can't write a chord ugly enough to say what you want sometimes, so you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream. ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi"> 
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Posted By: Kaztor
Date Posted: April 21 2005 at 22:24
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Right now I'm reading The Real Frank Zappa Book, which contains most of the one-liners and more. I love how he describes the dude who editted out the 'bad' parts out of We're Only In It For The Money 'a motherf**ker with a razorblade.' Sheer class. |
I'm a big fan of his, having about 60 cds of him now.