worst movies
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Topic: worst movies
Posted By: dude
Subject: worst movies
Date Posted: March 28 2004 at 01:53
OKAY PROG FANS!! what are the WORST movies you have ever seen.Now you may not agree with a movies philsophy or political bent(i object to "life Of Brian" for philosophical reasons BUT IT IS NOT A "BAD" MOVIE AS SUCH,it is very well made) but i am thinking more in terms of Acting Special Effects Direction Continuity(now theres a whole new thread "Movie Mistakes"!! ) etc for example the movie "Fire Maidens From Outer Space"....i didnt Know the moons of Jupiter Had cows fences and cars in the background!!...anyway lets keep the politics out and stick to the fun stuff(and remember..some films are so bad,they are fun to watch so you can include those if you like!!! ) Oh and by the way try and stick to Mainstream movies (such as hollywood ,britain etc) which reached wide international release so that we can relate(HEY!! you can even have a go at my country, for instance "Evil Angels" with Meryl Streep and Sam Neil....."the Dingo Took My Baby!!.......worst Accent..Ever!!(ComicBook Man)
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Posted By: StarshipTrooper
Date Posted: March 28 2004 at 03:41
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I would have to put my thinking cap on so as to work out some really bad movies from my memeory(maybe later) but what I find amazing is the acting of Sean Connery. Why is he meant to be such a great actor when all he does is play the same guy in every film? He plays an English secret agent with a scottish accent in the films he is best remembered for but the best was when he played a Russian Sub Captain....with a scottish accent. I reckon he has probably played characters from other countries as well...with a Scottish accent but again, i cannot think of them right now( we lost an hours sleep last night, when the clocks went forward)
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Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 28 2004 at 04:10
I think that way about Geoff Goldblum he always plays the same slightly bumbling character(by the way our clocks went BACK an hour last night!!! so i am well rested )
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Posted By: diddy
Date Posted: March 28 2004 at 06:59
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I really hated Gozilla because it had no plot at all...or a very bad one
But the worst movies are those movies played by: Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude van Damme  ------------- If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear... George Orwell |
Posted By: philippe
Date Posted: March 28 2004 at 07:02
Fot that time, I totally agree with you ------------- 
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diddy wrote:Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: March 28 2004 at 07:38
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Worst movies I've ever seen: "Beach Girls and the Monster" "The Giant Leaches" Both make "Plan 9 From Outer Space" look like "Gone With The Wind" |
Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 02:41
But most of these movies can have redeeming qualities. Van Damme even has good films (Timecop). The thing is about really INEPT films in all departments: See Ator 2 (AKA Cave Dwellers, AKA The Blade Master) or most Jess Franco films to see what I mean).
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Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 03:33
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Actually i was not going to say anything but as a Martial Artist i do enjoy when Van Damme and co get to a little" biffing!!"..i also thought "Timecop" was pretty good(HEY its 2004 now where are the time machines!!) it even became a short lived tv series...anyway back to the BAD movies....."Battlefield Earth" anyone? or "Dondi'(with David Janson) perhaps?
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Posted By: richardh
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 03:40
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John Carpenenter's 'Ghosts Of Mars' may be a contender with a Marylyn Mansun lookalike villain and painfull heavy metal soundtrack.I have to say I enjoyed the silliness of it! Other 'bad' films I've enjoyed include 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' and 'Deep Blue Sea' .The Finnish director Renne Harlin seems to have done a few of these! And have you noticed that some of the worst movies made recently seem to have Ben Afflek in them?! (Pearl Harbour,Gigli etc)
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Posted By: richardh
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 03:44
| British films wise steer well clear of 'Stupid Cows' despite the presence of the lovely Anna Friel this is an abominable so-called 'comedy'.There's quite a few bad British films funded by lottery money and government grants and this is one example. |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 06:49
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As far as real 'groaners' are concerned, "The Flintstones" movie has to be one of the worst piles of doo-doo ever to have come out of hollywood - needless to say I didn't bother with "Viva Rock Vegas"
For sheer sentimental USA saves the world (again!) schmaltz, you'd have to go for Independence Day - nice visuals, but an appalling film. Another nice visuals film, but the worst movie(in my opinion, anyway) ever made, though, has to be "Titanic" - the lovely Oirish people (all of whom, naturally, spent all their time laughing, drinking & dancing jigs - as all 'Oirish' people do - I'm surprised there were no leprechauns in the rigging) kept in the bottom of the liner by the Nasty Evil Brits (who all had moustaches & spent their time drinking port, plotting, and hiding American accents) - the sinking caused by the lookout watching DiCaprio kiss Winslett instead of the bloody big iceberg right in front of him - and the bloody awful ending aaaaaaaahhhhh, united in death....... aint that just so CUTE?? PASS ME THE SICK BAG, MOTHER!!!. The effects were OK, though..... ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 07:15
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I only saw "Flinstones, Viva Rock Vegas"(the sequal) WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!!! that song and dance sequence at the end...EMBARRASSING!!.I must admit i was a bit mystified by the success of "Titanic" , the sinking of the ship was spectacular with great special effects and an excellent "Slowly dying Dinosaur" feel but overall after seeing it i walked out the theatre shrugging my shoulders and saying......EH!!(is there an emoticon for "indifferant"?) As for Independace Day the first 45 minutes..Excellent!...Tense,A great sense of mounting dread and fear etc if only they kept that up....The presidents wife dying,WHAT DID SHE DIE OF??,she looked alright to me,and the uploading of the virus..CMON would thier computer language be compatible with ours?.And if they were far more advanced than we are wouldnt they have some sort of advanced virus detection system?..lazy script writing...(GREAT SPECIAL FX THOUGH!!)
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Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 08:03
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But if there are some NICE visuals, at least there is something positive. What I think Dude was asking for were terribly inept films, from every possible point of view. Movies with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. If you think Independence Day or The Flinstones are really bad movies, I suspect certain italian exploitation movies from the 80s could really cause you brain damage
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Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 08:28
PACO:"Deep Red" with David Hemmings??
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Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 08:42
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Well, it has at least a Goblin soundtrack wich is somehow disturbing. In fact it's a long time since I saw it, and, although I don't really like Argento, I must admit he has an especial directing eye, what means their films have at least some redeeming qualities... On the other hand, you can check any non-porn Joe D'Amato or Jess Franco flick to know what 'cinematographic pain' can mean. Hell, I'm right now at work going through a list of films to buy for my channel and you can't imagine the amount of poop I'm reading in this catalogue.... ooops... 'Murderock'.... directed by Lucio Fulci... music by Keith Emerson (gasp!) |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 09:21
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BTW, many professional movie critics like to call Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" the worst movie ever made. Nope. It's not even the worst movie that Wood made. That dubious honor goes to spectacularly awful "Night of the Ghouls". |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 09:47
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okay! since i created this thread,here are some movies which i considered bad(or that i had some problem with).Keep in mind this list is not definitive,i have more up my sleeve.Hercules in New York:Big Arnies first Starring role...'nuff said!.D Tox What the hell was all that about?.Mean Machine..with Vinnie Jones.I expected a tough "Man in Prison" movie instead i got a badly edited soccer match!!.Fire Maidens From Outer Space. SEE INTERPLANATARY COWS!!!. The Adventures Of Pluto Nash. 21st century movie 1983 special effects.The shipping News.I have never seen so many microphones dangling in scenes in one movie!(plus the fact it was boring as hell)The Omega Man(OKAY THIS IS A GOOD MOVIE BUT IN ONE SCENE YOU CAN SEE CARS DRIVING IN THE DISTANCE...SORT OF DESTROYS THE ILLUSION A BIT!!BUT PERHAPS I AM TO FUSSY!!)SPEED(sorry i just could not suspend beleif enough to accept that you could sustain that speed with all those obstacles...just not possible, Now i accept that suspension of beleif is needed to enjoy many movies but i have my limits |
Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 12:35
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Howard the Duck..... Worst Actor: Keanu Reeves. An animated stick figure. I laugh watching his robotic skills. Second: Kevin Costner. Ever seen this movie:
Robin Hood with an American Midwestern accent. Pitiful. Everyone else had and accent but the main character. EGADS!!!! Let's not mention Waterworld. I can understand B movies having warts, but the big box office stuff........... |
Posted By: Tauhd Zaďa
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 13:07
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The best "worst movie" I have ever seen is : "Saturday Night Fever" I saw this awfull movie right in '77 when I was 100% in prog rock No, I was not masochist, I only wanted to please a friend (a very short love story indeed !!
------------- The State Of Grace Is Achieved |
)Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 20:10
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DANBO:remember that line from MEL Brooks,Robin Hood Men In Tights......."At Least I have An English Accent.., Unlike Some Other Robin Hoods I Could Name!!"
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Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 23:00
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By the way if anyone is interested there is an interesting site called JAPANDER,it features hollywood actors doing Japanese commercials. Many of the adds are quite sedate but there are some truly wierd and wonderful ones,for example,some of the commercials of Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwartzenegger are truly bizarre!! its at http://www.japander.com - www.japander.com |
Posted By: Verisimilitude
Date Posted: March 29 2004 at 23:40
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"How to lose a guy in 10 days" is in the league of sh*t hollywood films... Just like all those other classics, like "The wedding planner" and those crappy chick-flick like hollywood happy ending type films... Don't get me wrong, I'm not against chick flicks, but isn't funny that "Notting Hill" - with a touch of British humour - was such a huge improvement compared to the best efforts of American attempts... But there's plenty more where that came from... I just don't want to relive the horror... |
Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: March 30 2004 at 13:12
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Perfect Give me "sarcasm" over "serious" any day. |
Posted By: Glass-Prison
Date Posted: March 31 2004 at 20:12
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Gotta love mel brooks has anyone here seen 'the fly'? the graphics are so deplorable it is nearly unbearable to watch, not to mention the third-rate generic horror plot. How about any of the Jay & silent Bob movies? (J&SB strike back, mall rats, etc.) They are so bad, it's hilarious! |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 31 2004 at 21:02
| ARe you talking about the 50's version of "The Fly".......HELP ME! ..HELP ME!...funny, but kind of scary and sad at the same time!!. |
Posted By: Glass-Prison
Date Posted: March 31 2004 at 21:27
| The first one is scary, but Jeff Goldblum alone makes the new one truly horrifying. |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: March 31 2004 at 21:54
| I heard there is to be ANOTHER REMAKE of "The Fly".as if we need one!! |
Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: April 01 2004 at 02:51
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Well, I is worse: not only they are developing a new remake of 'The fly': they are also re-imagining( |
God, how I hate this new hollywood euphemism) 'Invasion of the body snatchers' AGAIN: that would be the FOURTH time! Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: April 01 2004 at 06:13
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It could be worse, and it is - there is a live action film being made at this very moment, of 'Thunderbirds' -------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: April 01 2004 at 08:48
YES"'DIRECTED" BY JONATHEN FRAKES from "Star Trek" with apparently no input from Gerry and Sylvia Anderson(and they are not happy)...........not good!!....still,we will have to wait and see ..set for july release in the States!
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Posted By: The Owl
Date Posted: April 01 2004 at 11:50
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Funny Bad: "Plan 9 From Outer Space", "Robot Monster", "Frankenstein vs The Space Monster", "Kingdom of The Spiders" (William Shatner turns in another great hammy performance), "Catwomen On The Moon", some movie where the Three Stooges go to Venus Just Plain Nauseatingly Bad: ALL the Matrix movies (just a bunch of overhyped convoluted nonsense with the absolute WORST acting in history ALL REMAKES, PERIOD!! Mariah Scarey's "Glitter" Anything involving Reese Witherspoon ("Importance Of Being Earnest" excepted), how much mileage can you get out of that "ditzy blonde" thing anyway? ANY Broadway musical translated to film (that stuff is just WAAAYYY too corny for me) Have to admit, I've lost my taste for just about any sci-fi made after the late 80's, seems it's all just effects and explosions but no substance. ------------- People are puzzled why I don't dig the Stones, well, I listened to the Stones, I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and--I Can't Get No Satisfaction! www.myspace.com/theowlsmusic |
Posted By: Glass-Prison
Date Posted: April 01 2004 at 18:01
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The Matrix, eh? I'll have you know it is all a rip off of one of the greatest movies ever, Dark City, starring Rufus Sewell. The movie came out about a year before the matrix, and actually featured something moviegoers like to call a plot. Definitely recommended over the Matrix |
Posted By: Verisimilitude
Date Posted: April 02 2004 at 00:42
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I've heard a bit about Dark City... Something that I'll have to make the effort to see... |
Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: April 02 2004 at 05:48
I also recommend it. It's the quintaessential cult movie: it flopped more or less when it first was released, and, although it can't be said it's perfect, it's fairly good and, above all, it was really original, really above all tired cliches. A prog connection: The director is Alex Proyas, who directed my all time favourite video clip: Mike Oldfield's 'Magic Touch'. |
Posted By: elfangio
Date Posted: April 05 2004 at 17:02
Irreversible is one of the worst movies I ever saw  ------------- Great shredding is cheddar cheese on a taco (Ron Thal). "Mr Neal Morse from Mars, by way of Las Vegas and Nashville" |
Posted By: Scafell
Date Posted: April 08 2004 at 14:43
| This one's the easiest vote I've cast - "Raising Arizona" - complete and utter drivel - whoever thinks the Coens are quirky/funny must have had a lobotomy! |
Posted By: elfangio
Date Posted: April 08 2004 at 16:11
------------- Great shredding is cheddar cheese on a taco (Ron Thal). "Mr Neal Morse from Mars, by way of Las Vegas and Nashville" |
Posted By: richardh
Date Posted: April 08 2004 at 16:41
| I'm glad someone mentioned a Coen Brothers movie.Why oh why are they so revered? Their films just seem to be full if 'in-jokes' and if your not in on the joke then tough. |
Posted By: Hambone
Date Posted: April 08 2004 at 22:15
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'Squirm' a movie about worms that get electricuted and eat people. It's almost like they wanted you to know the worms were rubber. You can still watch Tom Survo, Crow and Mike make fun of it on Mystery Science Theater 3000. ------------- You've just had a heavy session of electro-shock theray and you're more relaxed then you've been in weeks. All those childhood tramas magically wiped away along with most of your personality. |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: April 10 2004 at 00:07
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All right..... I had been repressing the memory of even ever seeing this train wreck of a horrible movie with no reason to exist. From the plot, to the acting, to the script, to the junk yard production values, to the abysmal cinematography, to the disgusting acts depicted on the screen.... Without a doubt, brooking no arguement: "Pink Flamingos" is the worst piece of absolute crap ever inflicted upon a movie audience. |
Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: April 13 2004 at 03:30
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I agree with you. Even though they are good filmakers, I'm usually not 'in the joke' of their comedies. I prefer when they make a drama like 'Miller's Crossing'. |
Posted By: Hibou
Date Posted: April 29 2004 at 21:56
"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" - where screaming housewives watch in horror as lowly tomatoes gang up on them on the kitchen floor... ------------- [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b311/Progueuse/Album.jpg"> Gene Police: You!! Out of the pool! |
Posted By: Paco Fox
Date Posted: April 30 2004 at 06:49
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Ah, yes: this kind of bad movies 'so bad it is funny' that have a serious masochistic following on the web. Did you know George Clooney starred in the second sequel to this film? That makes it appear from time to time in some local channels here in Spain, just to punish the audience, I suppose. |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: April 30 2004 at 06:57
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'No escape' - this was definitely a contractual obligation project by Ray Liotta; how did he manage to get into this pile of absolute poo?!? Throughout the film you can tell that even HE is embarrassed.
'No escape' - the absolute nadir of the action film over the last decade; watch it if you dare! -------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: April 30 2004 at 07:29
| ACTUALLY I THUOGHT RAY LIOTTAS PERFORMANCE IN "TURBULENCE" WAS A BIT ODD TO !! |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: April 30 2004 at 07:39
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Never saw it - I was warned against this one in time! -------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: dude
Date Posted: April 30 2004 at 08:25
| YOU WERE GIVEN GOOD ADVICE JIM!! |
Posted By: Ivan_Melgar_M
Date Posted: May 01 2004 at 00:25
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There are lots: In first place I hate the easy terror movies, thosr that use tons of ketchup, axes in the heads, etc, the real terror is the exploration of the unexpected like Kubricks great movie The Shinning. But here's my list: 1.- Waterworld: What a piece of crap, a wet copy of Mad Max only that this one sucks. 2.- Friday 13: The whole series 3.- Titanic: Monumental waste of money, a romantic soap with a costume of epic. 4.- Pearl Harbor: Idem 5.- Police Academy II to all the rest: First one was original and imaginative, the rest is crap. 6.- Hannibal: How could they make this thing, I don't know what Anthony Hopkins was thinking when he accepted this aberration.......well he was thinking in $$$$. 7.- Cape Fear: What an overacted performance by the always great Robert de Niro. 8.- Ace Ventura Pet Detective: Most Jim Carrey's movies are crap (except Man on the Moon which is very good), but this one is even worst. 9.- The Nutty Professor: Repulsive. 10.- Grease: What can I say? Iván
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Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 01 2004 at 06:54
I was glad to read this Ivan. When everyone around me was hailing the remake of "Cape Fear" as a masterwork, I found it in general to be a festering, fly blown pile of canine feces. (clever, in-joke segue that no one will get.....) However I'd rather watch it 25 times in a row than allow a copy of the movie "Pink Flamingos" within a mile of my domicile. |
Posted By: Ivan_Melgar_M
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 00:43
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Agree Stormcrow, Pink Flamingos suck, but IMHO the worst piece of crap ever filmed is Waterworld, one of the most expensive movies for what? Iván |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 00:59
I want a catamaran like that though. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 01:04
Easy, Storm! Hook Dude and his kanga-legs to a pedal-bike generator -- runs on vegemite! ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 01:28
I'm not sure I can afford the upkeep on the emu herd! Not to even mention the koalas and wombats. |
Posted By: ayt1
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 01:47
| Definitely The Lord of the rings. The book was a revelation to me and a great support in hard circumstances for many years. But even in the nightmare never i could imagine a worst movie based on it. Everything is wrong, but the casting is worst of all. A pity, if it spoiled the vision of people that haven't read the book. |
Posted By: Glass-Prison
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 10:52
| I thought the casting for that movie was superb! the characters completely lived up to my expectations, and even exceeded them! the only argument I have, however, is that they're too short. they did leave out some interesting parts, such as Tom Bombadil and the Scouring of the Shire. other than that, it is an amazing movie. |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 11:08
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I agree they are too short. As long as the whole extended DVD release thing was going to be done anyway, Jackson and New Line could have and should have included even more of the book to make an even more amazing DVD. Obviously Bombadil and Goldberry, as well as Old Man Tree and the Barrow Downs got cut from the movies. A shame IMO as I'd have happily sat through another half an hour or more of movie to see that part of the books visualized. I've heard both yes and no that Saruman's escape from Isenguard and the Scouring of the Shire were filmed and will make it into the extended DVD release. Anyone have any definitive information which scenerio is going to come true? |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 11:16
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I too, have to stick my oar in to defend Lord Of The Rings - I thought Peter Jackson made a fantastic job of interpreting such epic source material; there was no way that every character/scenario could have made it to the final cut, so Jackson had to make cuts, alter dialogue, and even change some of the timeframes, to allow the final releases to flow.
As far as Saruman's escape & later death at Wormtongue's hand is concerned, I have heard yes/no as to whether these will be in the extended releases on DVD (I know they were filmed............) - one can but hope. If you want to sl*g Lord Of The Rings, feel free to do so on the 1980's animated version; now that was a pile of utter poo with no saving graces whatsoever. -------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 11:38
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I know that Pippin's finding the Orthanc an Isenguard looked incomplete and felt forced in the theater cut of TROTK. Hopefully Gandalf's and Saruman's confrontation at least, will get fleshed out in the extended DVD! |
Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 12:32
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I loved the LOTR trilogy. The one part that didn't make that I really hoped for was the scene at the gates of Mordor when Sauron's lieutenant rides out of the gates and throws Frodo's mithril coat and clothing to the ground and berates the army of Aragorn. That would have been an intense scene. Of course, Sharkey's demise at the hands of Wormtongue would have been cool too. http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001"> |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 12:47
I read an interview with Peter Jackson where he said that scene is in the can and will DEFINATELY make it into the extended DVD. |
Posted By: Certif1ed
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 13:22
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Am I the only one that's ever seen "Beautiful Creatures"? Probably the worst movie in the world EVER!!!! I won't spoil the surprise - rent it and cringe!! |
Posted By: Stormcrow
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 13:35
No, I've seen it. I kind of liked it. The movie's vibe reminded me a bit of .... maybe a female oriented "Trainspotting"? No, perhaps not a great flick, but I was amused enough to enjoy the time spent. Yeah, OK, so I'm sick that way! Any movie with Rachel Weitz in it isn't all bad. |
Posted By: Certif1ed
Date Posted: May 04 2004 at 15:18
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That was the only reason I stuck with it until the (bitter!) end
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Posted By: The Wizard
Date Posted: December 18 2005 at 12:04
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I'm suprised no one has yet to mention 'Freddy got Fingered' ot 'Tomcats'. -------------  
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Posted By: Jared
Date Posted: December 18 2005 at 12:13
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how about any of J Lo's output? "If the film had an original idea in its tiny mind, it would have swiftly died of loneliness" (The Virgin Film Guide on Maid In Manhattan) or, was Gigli even worse???? 'It's Turkey time!!' ------------- Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson |