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Printed Date: November 23 2024 at 16:54
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Topic: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted By: Peter
Subject: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 16:51
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I'm going to walk home from work now.
You have about fifteen minutes to post something -- anything -- even remotely interesting or amusing.
 I can't always carry this forum alone, you know!  ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Replies:
Posted By: Padraic
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 16:54
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Posted By: JrKASperov
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 16:55
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Somehow, the best bread (oerbrood) doesnt do well with the best spread (peanutbutter with nuts!), but the second bests(cervelate and white bread) do well with the other bests!
------------- Epic. |
Posted By: Angelo
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 16:59
Ever tried salami (the real garlicy kind) on white bread on board a Scottish long distance coach? The looks on people's faces are worth it! BTW: Oerbrood? You must be dutch... ------------- http://www.iskcrocks.com" rel="nofollow - ISKC Rock Radio I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected] |
JrKASperov wrote:Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:00
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Cobblers Peter,you better bloody well entertain me for a change!
I'm just off for a Ruby Murray for my supper and if there isnt anything damn well amusing from you when I return you'll be terminated... 
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Posted By: Easy Livin
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:03
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Here's something interesting. Guess what these are all anagrams of:
True toe pride Tired out peer I Pee red trout |
Posted By: Bj-1
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:03
I saw one of those in a store!  ------------- RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on! |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:06
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I was in English class today and the teacher asked if there were any preferences that made you write BETTER.
The girl next to me obviously misheard because she said..what uh yea deff with someone in bed
it was funnier in person...
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Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:08
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Me too, I tried the "Jim Garten Patented Snooze Button" but it didn't work.
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Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:09
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Can I be the first person to mention Dream Theater on this thread? Apparently they're a progressive metal band, and quite popular in some circles. ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Falling Flower
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:19
Maybe you should start a poll about them. ------------- 
Tool makes the butterflies in my tumybox go woooooooosh |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:20
Now you're just being silly - I can't see that sort of thing catching on here! ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: TheProgtologist
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:25
Hmmmmm..... Those are too hard Bob!!!!!!!!!!!  -------------  |
Posted By: glass house
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:27
No0000000000, don't mention them. Just tell the old Klingon joke
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Posted By: Angelo
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:38
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Peter not here yet? Let's hope he didn't get beat up on the way home. Then again, looking at the title of this thread, he probably fell asleep under a lamp post...
------------- http://www.iskcrocks.com" rel="nofollow - ISKC Rock Radio I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected] |
Posted By: cuncuna
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 17:49
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Axolotl is an interesting thing to regard. Check on them. Also, I would like to try on of my Random Suburban Contemporary Poems:
His sponges trembled, languid on the apocalipse of green fundaments of the rice parrot, but he was sad, and his cat was desintegrating, and he sold backwards his friend's vroom, until the end. Also, I think my signature is interesting. It took me a very good effort to create a showman Koala ASCII (notice the top hat). ------------- ¡Beware of the Bee! |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 21:31
I'm here at last -- life and a lonely motorcycle got in the way!
Well, NS, I tried the remote, but was disappointed with the lack of results. First I pointed it at my bank book, to try to increase its volume -- no luck.
 Then I pointed it at my wife, to increase the volume of her ****, again, no luck.
 Finally after she saw what I was up to, I tried to decrease the volume of her voice -- yowtch!
 Here's your remote back. Sorry about the mess -- I wiped it as clean as I could....  ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 21:35
bread is always good, but I'm allergic to nuts (present company excepted), and this post was not even as interesting as my old "tree facts" thread.
Nice try, but no cigar.  (Try using more CHEESE, next time!)------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 21:50
I like this post, because it has an English class in it -- but that new band Cream Treacle that Syzygy mentioned just sounds more exciting (and he didn't use the word "deff" -- whatever that means....
So, they're prog, eh Sausages? I like prog! Are they more like old Genesis, Yes or ELP, would you say?------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Padraic
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 21:54
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These are for you, Peter. Funny examples of incorrect English I learned long ago. Flying around the room I saw two birds. You never use a preposition to end a sentence with. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 22:02
This one was kind of exciting, because of the potential for senseless, random violence -- and because the poster is apparently a supernatural, winged being!
His previous one was pretty good too, because I like salami, but ultimately he had to be rejected beause he left out the apostrophe in his possessive "peoples."
(I told you spelling and punctuation matter, Angelo!  )------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 22:19
In the end, though (and despite his somewhat exciting, suggestive name), this guy loses because his home country is just too darned long, thin and pointy -- like the pepper for which it is named.
 -->  -->  Jeez! their houses must be really narrow, eh? If you even raised your arm, you'd take out some poor Argentinian's eye! ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: cuncuna
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 22:21
Peter wasn't impressed by the Axolotl 
the poem and the signature also didn't work...
Because my country is so long... Čuncuna = Čaterpillar. ------------- ¡Beware of the Bee! |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 22:50
Easy wins! (Tony doesn't even rate.)He wins because despite being Scottish, he knows what an anagram is!
 I like the '"trout" one best, because trout is tasty on the BBQ, and because Ian Anderson used to own a trout farm.
(Now if only I could figure out what the anagrams derive from....
 )Here is your grand prize, Easy -- some limericks I painstakingly composed during my bike ride, and jotted down on a napkin in the local donut shop:
There once was a limey named Tony
Who was quite an incredible phony
He blustered and puffed
And acted quite tough
But all knew he was chock full of baloney
******************************
There once was a mincer named Garten
Who was always and forever a fartin'
When he'd let loose in a room
Those near him would swoon
While the rest fled with eyes red and smartin'
*******************************
There once was an old man named McBeath
Who oft' wandered alone 'cross the heath
'Twas there he'd be found
Long leagues from the town
A-foaming and gnashing his teeth
********************************
There once was a sicko, McBeath
Who vowed: "tis far better beneath"
As Tony climbed on
He burst into song
(The threepenny one, 'bout Mack Heath)
********************************
There once was a Scotsman named Bob
With a shy and retiring nob
When lassies lifted his kilt
His thistle would wilt
Sighed they: "he's nay up for the job"
***********************************
Congrats, & hope you liked 'em, Bobber!
 ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 22:52
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No mention of my effort then, Peter?
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 22:53
wat? u makin fun of how I write? I write good if nothowc ould I place outta freshman english?
just cuz i sed deff instead of definatley......honestly now
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Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 23:02
Hey, I showered golden accolades upon you last night, Greek0il!
Waddaya want -- jam on it?  ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 23:10
Well, good night, all! 
You've somehow managed to redeem yourselves again, and retain my services for another day...
fools!
Thanks to all who took part in the silliness!
 Except that Cucuracha guy who posted his frilly pink trouser tadpole -- that's just WRONG! There are women and miners here, ya know! ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: September 12 2006 at 23:12
I don't want to know about your showers, or what colours they are... Jam would be lovely, thanks. Don't forget to cover the whole of the surface, close to the edge.-------------
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Posted By: SolariS
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 00:10
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Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq71FmCo2Fg&mode=related&search= - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq71FmCo2Fg&mode=related&search= that amused me today LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL -------------  
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Posted By: cuncuna
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 00:56
Since I wrotte about Axolotl and you ended up mentioning Argentina, I must recommend the short story "Axolotl" by Argentinian writter Julio Cortázar. Incredible, to say the least. ------------- ¡Beware of the Bee! |
Posted By: Fassbinder
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 01:03
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Posted By: JrKASperov
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 02:12
Hey, you just asked for something 'remotely' interesting! ------------- Epic. |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 03:13
Yes, Chris, tell us that joke again
UUUuuuuuhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!......... something fishy here.
Salmon farming is the thing 'round Aberdeen. drove by it in the early 90's ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: Easy Livin
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 03:20
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Wonderful stuff Peter!
Can I just say though that I pronounce my name MacBeth
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Posted By: R o V e R
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 04:05
gosh i'm afraid of this motherf**kin creature |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 08:55
Aye, you wuid!
 Anyway, thankee, Bawb (or is that "Bobe?")Appropriately-rhyming limerick to follow!
Hmmmm.... MacBeth -> breath, death, crystal meth, waters of Lethe, give it a retht....  ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 09:06
Aah... a dangerous one, that! Although you seem to be quite "full of the milk of human kindness" too... |
Posted By: cuncuna
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 11:28
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[/QUOTE]
gosh i'm afraid of this motherf**kin creature[/QUOTE] AXOLOTL are Salamanders in larvae state that "choose" not to become full adults (that'll be a Salamander), and remain being a larvae for the rest of their lives, wich is quite strange, and was the inspiration for that incredible short story I was quoting before. ------------- ¡Beware of the Bee! |
Posted By: Easy Livin
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 11:45
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Is this a dagger I see before me! Sorry, wrong play.
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Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 13:14
Dare to correct ME, wilt thou, base churlish knave?!
(Though I believe you're right -- but I did read about some rock star recently with a trout farm....
)Forsooth, thou hast asked for this
:There once was a Belgian named Hugues
Who would drink every day til he'd spew
The Chimay he would guzzle
And pour down his muzzle
What else should a faux Frenchie do?
***********************************
 ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 14:37
No, it's an axolotl. Close, but no banana. ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Angelo
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 16:08
Sorry, dad...  ------------- http://www.iskcrocks.com" rel="nofollow - ISKC Rock Radio I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected] |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 16:13
| This seems like a pointless thread, so I'm going to post even though I have nothing to say. |
Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 16:56
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i just burned my tongue ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm 
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Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:03
Well done! Some of the best things in life are "pointless," of little or no "practical" use -- the pointlessness is the point!
My dog doesn't "get" art. A bone is more lovely and useful to him, by far. He'd pee on the Mona Lisa as quickly as he would a tree.
Art is a mirror, and humour is an antidote, a sanity and humanity-preserving counterbalance to the horror of reality.
Or not.
(Heard any good 9-11 or Bin Laden jokes lately?)
Hoorah for hokum!  ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:35
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Osama bin Ladeen, severely injured in an American attack, is in a US Army medical facility, when he asks the attending doctor, "Doc, when will I die?" "Unsure of the exact time of death," his Western doctor says. "But you will die on an American holiday." "How do you know it will be on an American holiday?" asks the terrorist. "Oh," said the doctor, "Any day that you die will be an American holiday. ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:36
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What's the difference between Bin Laden and a bucket of sh*t?
THE BUCKET! ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:40
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Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladeen and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Osama Bin Ladeen was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall round Afganistan. "Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - virtually impenetrable. "UncleSam" says, "Fill it with water". ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:50
| What's the difference between a sparrow? Both legs are equally long, especially the left one. |
Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:55
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what has 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:01
| An elderly lady went to a shop. A shovel. |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:24
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A man went into a paint shop and asked for some blue paint.
'I'm sorry' said the shopkeeper 'but we've only got yellow paint'.
'That's OK' the man replied 'I've got my bike outside'. ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:25
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And now, a limerick:
There was a young man from Kent
Who swallowed a set of encyclopedias
His mother said "Ken
What have you done?
They were for supper!" ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:35
^Wasn't supper ready? 
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Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 13 2006 at 19:19
ho ho ho ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: JrKASperov
Date Posted: September 14 2006 at 02:24
It doesn't even rhyme! ------------- Epic. |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: September 14 2006 at 03:24
------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: The Whistler
Date Posted: September 14 2006 at 03:29
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If the proof is in the pudding, then why does Vatican City not have a post office? ------------- "There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: September 18 2006 at 07:26
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An Englishman, a Rabbi and a Haddock walk into a bar.
The barman says "is this some kind of a joke?" ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: September 18 2006 at 07:30
'ang on... 
Why you  - just leave me alone; go an' your again, before I take a large stick and until you're really sorry, you .-------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |