Progarchives.com has always (since 2002) relied on banners ads to cover web hosting fees and all.
Please consider supporting us by giving monthly PayPal donations and help keep PA fast-loading and ad-free forever.
/PAlogo_v2.gif "Progarchives.com Homepage") |
|
Post Reply 
|
Page <1 111213 |
| Author | |
Textbook 
Forum Senior Member 
Joined: October 08 2009 Status: Offline Points: 3281 |
 Posted: June 10 2012 at 17:46 |
|
Presdoug has obviously been through quite a few snack-packs in his time.
|
|
 |
|
|
presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 8737 |
Posted: June 11 2012 at 11:47 |
|
Edited by presdoug - June 13 2012 at 21:08 |
|
|
|
|
presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 8737 |
Posted: June 11 2012 at 11:49 |
|
Edited by presdoug - June 13 2012 at 21:09 |
|
|
|
|
presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 8737 |
Posted: June 11 2012 at 17:23 |
|
Edited by presdoug - June 13 2012 at 21:07 |
|
|
|
|
Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009 Status: Offline Points: 3281 |
Posted: June 11 2012 at 23:11 |
|
What do you call a man with a spade balanced on his head?
Crazy. |
|
|
|
|
Jim Garten
Special Collaborator 
Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: June 13 2012 at 07:16 |
|
Why are elephants huge, grey & wrinkled?
If they were small, round & white, they'd be an aspirin. |
|
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
|
|
|
|
Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: June 13 2012 at 07:17 |
|
What's white, wears checked trousers & falls out of trees?
Rupert the fridge. |
|
|
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
|
|
|
|
presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 8737 |
Posted: June 13 2012 at 15:49 |
|
Edited by presdoug - June 13 2012 at 21:06 |
|
|
|
|
Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009 Status: Offline Points: 3281 |
Posted: June 13 2012 at 18:11 |
|
What did Presdoug say about classical music?
Some terrible jokes. |
|
|
|
|
refugee
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member Joined: November 20 2006 Location: Greece Status: Offline Points: 7026 |
Posted: June 19 2012 at 09:46 |
|
I found this one on the Not Always Right site:
(I’m a waitress in a coffee shop/bakery/deli located in the middle of a small town. I walk into the dining room to see the minister from the church across the street, a police officer from the station down the block, and a lawyer from the courthouse next door sitting at the counter. I’m looking at this strange sight when my boss comes up behind me.) Boss: “So a priest, a cop, and a lawyer walk into a bar…” http://notalwaysright.com/If you’re bored, I can guarantee that you’ll find some amusement there. |
|
|
He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing (Peter Hammill) |
|
|
|
|
AtomicCrimsonRush
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 02 2008 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 14258 |
Posted: July 11 2012 at 07:02 |
|
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with
you?' Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for
you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you . She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag
you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of
them. 'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?' God replied, 'An arm and a leg.'
Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?' |
|
|
|
|
|
|
smartpatrol
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 15 2012 Location: My Bedroom Status: Offline Points: 14169 |
Posted: July 11 2012 at 12:03 |
|
/\ OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD!
|
|
|
|
|
frippism
Collaborator 
Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 27 2010 Location: Tel Aviv Status: Offline Points: 4160 |
Posted: July 11 2012 at 12:06 |
epic
|
|
|
There be dragons
|
|
|
|
|
AtomicCrimsonRush
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 02 2008 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 14258 |
Posted: August 14 2012 at 06:40 |
|
MAMA'S BIBLE.
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors, lawyers and businessmen. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who had moved to Florida. The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house." The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes. She wrote: Melvin, the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Milton, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much." Love, Mama. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 8737 |
Posted: August 14 2012 at 20:51 |
|
There was a man recouperating in a hospital bed, and when the nurse came in, he asked "Are my test results back?" She gave him an odd look, and nervously left the room.
The next day, the exact same thing, he asked her "Are my test results back?", and still only an odd look, and then the nurse left. After the third day of this, he called back at the nurse, "Why do you keep ignoring my question?" She walked up to him and opened his underwear, and looked at him and said "They are fine." Shocked, the patient responded, "Why the hell did you do that for?" She replied "Well, you kept asking me, Are my testicles black?" |
|
|
|
|
AtomicCrimsonRush
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 02 2008 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 14258 |
Posted: August 20 2012 at 08:20 |
Oh no this was going round on the Australian TV talk shows and now London has picked it up! Oh how embarassing
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post Reply
|
Page <1 111213 |
| Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
Tell me the worst joke you know:)
Topic Options
Dean wrote: