SUCKS GIANT MONKEY BALLS!!!
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^^^THIS MUST DIE!!!

So, here's what was supposed to be on wikipedia/uncyclopedia:

History

The Velvet Crew is a fun bunch of walruses, n00bs, azns, fanboys, nerds and other people known to hang out at a long thread called The Velvet Room on the ProgArchives forums. Despise that some lowlife dipsh*ts call it a "generic Internet forum" we know for fact that it is not true and PA forums, are indeed the most beautiful, friendly, enlightening and welcoming community on the Internet. As Chris aka Syzygy once stated, "PA is what the Internet was invented for". There is no doubt he is right. Anyway, back to the Velvet Crew. It all started when one old Swedish clown made a thread about Mariah Carey that ran kinda long. It slowly turned into a place where teenage progholes with no life from all over the world came together posting useless crap 24/7. Then one tragic day the clown had a particularly bad hangover and demanded his thread closed which was promptly executed by monsieur Terminator. Then he had opened another thread entitled The Loony Bin that was murdered in cold blood by an evil Romanian Schulze fanboy. Rico's evil deeds didn't stop at that. He murdered the most important thread in the universe(the open letter; but that's a whole different story) and opened a thread called *Britney Spears shortly renamed into Useless discussions, a by far more appropriate title. The restless Clown however could not stand competition and created another monumental thread neatly named The Velvet Room. This thread gained more popularity than Romanian thread-slayer's one and Useless Discussions was terminated at dawn. The Velvet Room lived a long and happy life. Until one day Mr. Max didn't change the forum software to a new version whose creators didn't understand that less is more. This software kept bugging and glitching like hell all the time and it just couldn't hold such a monumental thread as The Velvet Room and the poor thing collapsed with 1640 pages. RIP VR pt.1! So, The Miracle(me, the author of this crap) created the VR part deux, which lived a nice and happy life until the damn WebWiz 2 raped it too. Something had to be done, but it happened to be a little over done. Mr. O'Shay and James have started two threads at the same time, even though the Schulze fanboy was first to call it. Rico's one was entitles "The Velvet Room Part 3 (Melt)" As Rico hates Zappa. James called his Return Of The Son Of The Velvet Room(Melt). Ouch. Needless to say Rico got uber pissed at James and left the forum for a while. James thread was the one getting popular, but fair it was not. Justice was brought by the Terminator who is watching, always watching, simply closed both and started his own (the traitor!), Velvet Room Part 3 without any of that son of or Melt bullsh*t (hmm, I seem to remember Ansen not saying he hated the idea). The history ends here, to be continued (probably).

Members

Here's a quick overview of the Velvet Crew:

• Cygnus X-2(Robert "Cyg","Cyggie","Cygmund") An open minded and nice person, never bashes others musical tastes or bands he dislikes. He is a very prolific reviewer and a member of PA's Neo Prog Team. Loves Rush, Zappa and Adrian Belew.

• Stonebeard(Andrew "Stony") Another member of the Neo team(basically out of two). A very nice, mature though at times silly guy. A huge fan of neo and some non prog stuff like U2, The Flaming Lips and The Police

• The Miracle(Ansen) Another open minded and nice velveteer, yet the biggest n00b of them all, author of the (ill-fated) second Velvet Room and he has the most posts (because he has no life). Likes literally all prog and hates punk.

• Man With Hat(Phil "Hatman","Hattie","MWH") A very open minded proghole, a fan of all sub genres and never bashes any. Has a very nice and calm character but unfortunately a rather tiny..................*ahem*........................... music collection.

• Bj-1(Bjornar "Blowie") A Norwegian walrus he is one of the most open minded people we have, a very nice and fun kid. A huge fan of Supertramp, AC/DC and Frank Zappa. He introduced terminateding(note for the slow: ul.king = the walrus sound) That is much hated and fought by The Terminator. 
  

• King Of Loss(Xiaojie "Flossy") A huge fanboy of Gildenlow, Stolt, Morse and soccer, he is the only azn in the crew (simply not true, what's MM then?). He has weird azn parents who set him time limits. His conversations with his dad go something like this: According to AtLossForWords/Tlossy

Flossy: Get on AIM n00b!

Flossy's Dad: Your time limit is up!

Flossy: Shut up white n00b, time limits suck!

FD: I want order you Zizour jersey for 300 dowa if you don't get off computer.

Flossy: ZIZOU ZIZOU ZIZOU

FD: Flossy it's one of your white friends

Flossy: WHITE FRIENDS SUCK GIANT MONKEY BALLS

---

Dad: FAH ZI WHAT f**k YOU THINK YOU DOING COMING IN WITHOUT KNOCKIE!!?

Flossy: Sorry daddy, I just had a nightmare.

Dad: O FLOSSY?

Flossy: Ya Flossy. I dreamed that I had to listen to that trashy Patton music.

Dad: White n00b, Patton sucks giant monkey balls, listen to more TFK LOL!

Flossy: O FLOSSY?

Dad: Ya Flossy. Now get to bed, me and Mrs. Liu are trying to make another Morse/Stolt/Gildenlow fanboy here.

Flossy: I can't sleep, read me a story about the days without time limits.

Dad: SCREW THAT! Get the hell out of my room right now before I smack you with my giant penis.... maybe I'll give you that sh*tty FIFA game back.

Flossy: OMGOMGOMGOGOGMGOGMGOMGOGMOGMOGGOMG ZIZOU!!!! ZIZOU!!!! ZIZOU!!!

• Ricochet(Victor "Rico") Our favorite Romanian, famous for having every single Klaus Schulze and Tangerine Dream album ever released. He is also a very prolific reviewer though his reviews are kind of hard to read sometimes and occasionally get reporter as inappropriate. Those b*****ds should know better than to report Rico. He's rather depressed and bitter all the time. His conversations with parents must go something like this:

Rico: IT'S RICO TIME!
Rico's mom: Rico, what the hell are you doing up so late?
Rico: ATTENTION ALL PARENTS OF RICO'S HOUSE
        ATTENTION ALL PARENTS OF RICO'S HOUSE
        I HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL
        I HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL
Rico's mom: Stop it and go to bed now!
Rico: Rico review!
Rico's mom: That's it, I'm throwing away your Schulze albums.
Rico:

• Bluesaga(Mike "U.lksaga") One of the most intelligent and open-minded Velveteers. Started his journey into prog from simpler things such as '70s symphonic and Prog Metal, slowly drifting away into obscure Space Rock, Fusion, Canterbury, RIO/Avant, and Krautrock.

• The Wizard(Mickey) Looks 12, actually 17 he is a cool kid who loves space rock though is pretty open minded towards other genres. He's a pretty intellectual lad who always bugs Tlossy for philosophy lessons and has a pretty big ego.

• AtLossForWords(Vincent "Tlossy") Prog metal specialist, a pretty close minded but intelligent guy, he enjoys bashing music he doesn't like and praising what he does. A big fanboy on Dream Theater, The Flower Kings and The Tangent. He likes melody and structure in his prog and doesn't like very adventurous/weird music. He also makes fun of Flossy, and enjoys it as much as he likes bashing bands he doesn't like.

• Bern(Olivier "Bernice") An uber cool proud Quebecois guy who has 9 girlfriends though rumour's around he's a girl himself. Who cares anyway, I love lesbians. He's a fan of Harmonium, Maniege and other Quebecois prog on top of other stuff he listens to.

• Geck0(James) The one velveteer who's cooler than cool, a lover of Canterbury especially Rock Bottom, loves calling people n00bs though he isn't one himself.

• TheProgtologist(Jody) The oldest(40) and the most mature person and the only admin to post in the VR on a regular basis. He is a member of the prog metal team a very open minded guy and listens to all kinds of stuff from Genesis to Slipknot, his favorite band being Tool.

• King Of Siam A very cool velveteer from this dirty f**king hole we call LA. A big Tool fan he's always nice and open minded.

• Imoeng A nice and open minded kid form Indonesia who joined thanks to Gatot. One of the newest Crew members he's a huge fan of Dream Theater along with other prog metal.

• Majestic_Mayhem(Daniel "MM") Came to PA as a n00by DT fanboy and broadened his prog knowledge a whole lot since. Mostly a prog metal fan but pretty open minded toward other stuff as well. Works a lot and has a cute girlfriend
  

• Dalezilla(Jesse "Zilly") One of the newer velveteers;  a big Pain Of Salvation fan and loves post rock.

• Arsillus(Matt "Arsie") The guy with the funny name. He lives in George Bush's homeland and probably the only proghole in the state. A big fan of Rush but pretty open minded and likes stuff raging from Dream Theater to Magma.
  

Edited by The Miracle - July 26 2006 at 02:54

No need for that, I made it much much much better.

I added to my little bio.

Haha now I findaly know the Velvet Room history

Falling Flower wrote: Haha now I findaly know the Velvet Room history

"It slowly turned into a place where teenage progholes with no life from all over the world came together posting useless crap 2/7"

You completely ripped that off from my post.

Edited by AtLossForWords - July 25 2006 at 22:14

Dalezilla wrote: That's hilarious!!     But it's got members missing...

Velvet crew

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