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darksinger 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 29 2006
Location: Durham, NC
Status: Offline
Points: 1091
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 Posted: August 30 2006 at 02:20 |
 stonebeard wrote:
Eh, well I don't have much to be happy about. |
how you deal with adversity is a telltale sign of your character. adversity is a big part of life and if nothing is wrong in your life, nothing is going on in your life (so larry winget says).
personally, i deal with adversity by taking copious amounts of anti-depressants and running a sixty+ level character through the easiest levels of dungeon siege with a mallet that metes out 300+ points of damAGE...
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Man With Hat
Collaborator
Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team
Joined: March 12 2005
Location: Neurotica
Status: Offline
Points: 166178
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 04:14 |
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I've been meaning to get one of those...
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Dig me...But don't...Bury me
I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive
Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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Raff
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 29 2005
Location: None
Status: Offline
Points: 24429
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 04:24 |
bhikkhu wrote:
Nice observation Cucuna. Many times we are blind to how serious a friend's pain can be.
Stonie, I know it's hard when you are down. Nothing seems to help, and you can't imagine anyone being able to understand. Something I have learned is that nothing is permanent. Change is the only thing we can truly count on. Just remember, no matter how crappy things may seem, they won't stay that way. They can't.
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Based on very recent personal experience, I have to say I endorse HT's words 100%. About three months ago, because of an accumulation of very negative events in my life, I hit an all-time low and was on the verge of isolating myself from the world. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, something very beautiful happened and turned my very perspective upside down. Things do change, and sometimes it's for the better... I used to believe it could not be so for me anymore, but sometimes life can surprise you in a positive way. BTW, Stonie... I'm so sorry to hear about you feeling so bad, as I've been there before. If you ever feel the need to talk to somebody old enough to be your mother, but who is good enough at listening to people, feel free to drop me a line... 
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 06:50 |
I agree with Cuncuna, Bhikku, Tlossy and Ghost Rider here. I have been exactly where you have been now, Stonie, but one thing I refused to do, was to go to the doctors or take any form of anti-depressant. I felt that a) I had a strong enough character and belief in myself to get through it and b) I felt it somewhat of a defeatists attitude to get help (I did get help of sorts, but that was chatting to people about it; it helps!). I was correct with my observations as well and I am now very rarely depressed. I get a little sad from time-to-time, but it takes very little to cheer me back up again. Music helps a lot, but also if you have a few friends who tell jokes, or are just good to speak to, because they're always happy, then speak to them! Don't dish out your troubles and woes to them, but just talk about inane stuff and try not to get too deep. They'll soon make you feel better. However, the one major thing that sorted me out, was realising that what I was actually worrying about was rather trivial compared to so many millions of other people. Why should I worry about such issues, when someone else is going through a lot worse? Besides, the reasons for depression and sadness are not really measurable anyhow; what makes you depressed may not make someone else depressed. As Mike says, it's just a phase and a very important one in life. I think everyone needs to go through depression in one way or other, to enable to them to live a fruitful life. Sadness and depression are there for a purpose, so use it to your advantage; I did. Try and write lyrics, write music, play guitar, or paint. Whatever you feel comfortable with. Yes your efforts may appear dark and brooding, but I bet they we will be some of your best work. Think about it. You'll get through this if you have a strong mind and a will to get through it. Your friends are very important. Good luck! 
Edited by Geck0 - August 30 2006 at 06:52
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darksinger
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 29 2006
Location: Durham, NC
Status: Offline
Points: 1091
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 07:55 |
Geck0 wrote:
I agree with Cuncuna, Bhikku, Tlossy and Ghost Rider here. I have been exactly where you have been now, Stonie, but one thing I refused to do, was to go to the doctors or take any form of anti-depressant. I felt that a) I had a strong enough character and belief in myself to get through it and b) I felt it somewhat of a defeatists attitude to get help (I did get help of sorts, but that was chatting to people about it; it helps!). I was correct with my observations as well and I am now very rarely depressed. I get a little sad from time-to-time, but it takes very little to cheer me back up again.
Music helps a lot, but also if you have a few friends who tell jokes, or are just good to speak to, because they're always happy, then speak to them! Don't dish out your troubles and woes to them, but just talk about inane stuff and try not to get too deep. They'll soon make you feel better.
However, the one major thing that sorted me out, was realising that what I was actually worrying about was rather trivial compared to so many millions of other people. Why should I worry about such issues, when someone else is going through a lot worse?
Besides, the reasons for depression and sadness are not really measurable anyhow; what makes you depressed may not make someone else depressed.
As Mike says, it's just a phase and a very important one in life. I think everyone needs to go through depression in one way or other, to enable to them to live a fruitful life.
Sadness and depression are there for a purpose, so use it to your advantage; I did. Try and write lyrics, write music, play guitar, or paint. Whatever you feel comfortable with. Yes your efforts may appear dark and brooding, but I bet they we will be some of your best work.
Think about it.
You'll get through this if you have a strong mind and a will to get through it. Your friends are very important.
Good luck!
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not taking anti-depessents might be good for you, but just because a person needs medication does not mean the person is weak of character. the mental illnesses are little understood, despite all of the progress medicine makes. what works for one case of depression might not work for another.
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Trickster F.
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 10 2006
Location: Belize
Status: Offline
Points: 5308
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 08:32 |
I guess I'll have to join in the depressed people. I haven't been happy for good 6 years now. I always remind myself that there are people out there with problems more much complicated than mine and that I simply can not enjoy life, but that makes me sink deeper in my depression. Never took any pills though or seen a specialist, and don't plan to.
I know that people have two treatments for this, friends and music; well, I've got a few of the former, which doesn't entertain me and doesn't make me feel much better, and the latter matches my mood, fears and misanthropy as close as possible.
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sig
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 08:40 |
darksinger wrote:
Geck0 wrote:
I agree with Cuncuna, Bhikku, Tlossy and Ghost Rider here. I have been exactly where you have been now, Stonie, but one thing I refused to do, was to go to the doctors or take any form of anti-depressant. I felt that a) I had a strong enough character and belief in myself to get through it and b) I felt it somewhat of a defeatists attitude to get help (I did get help of sorts, but that was chatting to people about it; it helps!). I was correct with my observations as well and I am now very rarely depressed. I get a little sad from time-to-time, but it takes very little to cheer me back up again.
Music helps a lot, but also if you have a few friends who tell jokes, or are just good to speak to, because they're always happy, then speak to them! Don't dish out your troubles and woes to them, but just talk about inane stuff and try not to get too deep. They'll soon make you feel better.
However, the one major thing that sorted me out, was realising that what I was actually worrying about was rather trivial compared to so many millions of other people. Why should I worry about such issues, when someone else is going through a lot worse?
Besides, the reasons for depression and sadness are not really measurable anyhow; what makes you depressed may not make someone else depressed.
As Mike says, it's just a phase and a very important one in life. I think everyone needs to go through depression in one way or other, to enable to them to live a fruitful life.
Sadness and depression are there for a purpose, so use it to your advantage; I did. Try and write lyrics, write music, play guitar, or paint. Whatever you feel comfortable with. Yes your efforts may appear dark and brooding, but I bet they we will be some of your best work.
Think about it.
You'll get through this if you have a strong mind and a will to get through it. Your friends are very important.
Good luck! |
not taking anti-depessents might be good for you, but just because a person needs medication does not mean the person is weak of character. the mental illnesses are little understood, despite all of the progress medicine makes. what works for one case of depression might not work for another. |
Jen, it's not just that for me though, I've read about side affects
with not only anti-depressants, but all sorts of medication, so I am
somewhat sceptical when it comes to medicines.
I don't even take
paracetamol or asprin very often, only on rare occasions. I don't get
ill like that anyhow, even though I do seem to have a somewhat poor
diet.
Edited by Geck0 - August 30 2006 at 08:41
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aapatsos
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: November 11 2005
Location: Manchester, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 9226
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 10:40 |
Talking about sad people here... I have been quite sad this whole year but it's getting better...
I am at the lab right now running dynamical adsorption/regeneration experiments
(chemical engineering)
at least there is sth interesting...
oh, and I am listening to PA 
Edited by aapatsos - August 30 2006 at 10:41
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AtLossForWords
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 11 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 6699
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 11:14 |
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I'd have to say there were two things that turned my life around over the past couple years that have made me a happier person.
1) I'm no longer an alcoholic
2) I know who I am now rather than trying to be what others thought I should be.
3) I've taken on responsibility and have been given more freedom in return.
All three are very good ways to lead a happier life.
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"Mastodon sucks giant monkey balls."
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20240
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 11:30 |
the usual stuff during week days. Europeans might have an easer time to understand the brand names.
Lattoflex , Phillips
Scottex , Colgate , Gilette , Axe
Kellogs , Fruitvita, Illy
Renault, Dell , Nokia , Siemens, Nokia , Siemens , Nokia , Black & Decker , Nokia
McDonald's , Coca-Cola , Lipton
Dell, Siemens , Nokia , Hewlett-Packard , Illy , Nokia , Nokia
Renault, Lays , Jupiler (best Belgian brew) , Sony Trinitron , Whirlpool
Jupiler , Pizza-Hut , Jupiler , Jupiler , Jupiler , Nokia , Chivas Regal , Jupiler , Jupiler
Aspirin , Durex, Scottex, Durex, Durex , Colgate , Lattoflex
WE are usually much less routine (more Durex and less Colgate)
Edited by Sean Trane - August 30 2006 at 11:31
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let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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sleeper
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 09 2005
Location: Entropia
Status: Offline
Points: 16449
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 11:37 |
^Am I right in thinking you tried to fix your Nokia phone with a Black And Decker power drill? 
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Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005
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bhikkhu
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: April 06 2006
Location: A² Michigan
Status: Offline
Points: 5109
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 11:41 |
Trickster F. wrote:
I guess I'll have to join in the depressed people. I haven't been happy for good 6 years now. I always remind myself that there are people out there with problems more much complicated than mine and that I simply can not enjoy life, but that makes me sink deeper in my depression. Never took any pills though or seen a specialist, and don't plan to.
I know that people have two treatments for this, friends and music; well, I've got a few of the former, which doesn't entertain me and doesn't make me feel much better, and the latter matches my mood, fears and misanthropy as close as possible. |
I understand where you are coming from. I used to find absolutely no joy in life. Because of this, I consumed large amounts of intoxicants. Alcohol being the main focus. I tried counseling, but they seemed to be at a loss to find the real problem. Medications were suggested, but I saw that as a substitute for what I was already doing. I knew there was a greater problem that had to be addressed. What was this conflict that kept me from enjoying life? When I was finally able to confront this issue, everything changed. Let me tell you, it runs much deeper than things like having a rough childhood. It is in an overall view of things.
AtLossForWords wrote:
I'd have to say there were two things that turned my life around over the past couple years that have made me a happier person.1) I'm no longer an alcoholic2) I know who I am now rather than trying to be what others thought I should be.3) I've taken on responsibility and have been given more freedom in return.All three are very good ways to lead a happier life.
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Right on Vince.  You have surely found the key. Taking responsibility is a big one. Especially realizing that you are responsible for your own misery, and happiness. Realizing this is finding the door to freedom.
I would also like to endorse Ghost Rider (Raffaella) as a very good person to talk to. She is very intelligent, and compassionate. I also volunteer my ear (or in this case, eyes  ) to anyone who wants to talk. I have been to the abyss of absolute hopelessness, and come out the other side. It would be my pleasure to help someone else who is heading in the same direction.
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mystic fred
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 13 2006
Location: Londinium
Status: Offline
Points: 4252
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 11:47 |
Believe it or not, i am really a very happy person!  i only pretend to be grumpy sometimes for a laugh. i have a strong family, my good health, a job i love doing, music i liove listening to among many other hobbies, no woman to nag me  . Back in 1982 i was in Hospital recovering from a serious accident, my wife had left me and i lost my house, no money, no prospects, i was about as low as anyone could get, but thanks to my family (and the local Drama Group!) i managed to rebuild my life again.
However bad it gets...it can only get better!!! now i have my mates on PA like TonyR to cheer me up!
Edited by mystic fred - August 30 2006 at 11:48
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 Prog Archives Tour Van 
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Dalezilla
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: July 28 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 5113
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 12:26 |
I'm pretty happy right now. The only thing that's making me sad is the fact that I haven't had very much time to be on PA recently... 
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Padraic
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 16 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Status: Offline
Points: 31169
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 12:33 |
Coming home to my little boy makes every day a good day. 
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man@arms
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 31 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 238
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 13:40 |
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Well, I just got back from my lunch break in which I passed the time listening to the 'Yes Album' and that always makes me happy. Now I realize that my work day is half over and there is cold beer and a hot wife waiting for me at home and so I'm pretty damned ecstatic!
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 13:43 |
Just got back from the mall, got lunch, some CD's, spent time with my brother.
Trying to enjoy my last 2 days at home before I move.
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Raff
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 29 2005
Location: None
Status: Offline
Points: 24429
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 14:58 |
mystic fred wrote:
Believe it or not, i am really a very happy person! i only pretend to be grumpy sometimes for a laugh. i have a strong family, my good health, a job i love doing, music i liove listening to among many other hobbies, no woman to nag me . Back in 1982 i was in Hospital recovering from a serious accident, my wife had left me and i lost my house, no money, no prospects, i was about as low as anyone could get, but thanks to my family (and the local Drama Group!) i managed to rebuild my life again.
However bad it gets...it can only get better!!! now i have my mates on PA like TonyR to cheer me up!
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Men... Women don't always nag, far from that ((I don't)!  And I hope I make you laugh too sometimes... BTW, it's always nice to see happy people around! 
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mystic fred
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 13 2006
Location: Londinium
Status: Offline
Points: 4252
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 15:13 |
Ghost Rider wrote:
mystic fred wrote:
Believe it or not, i am really a very happy person! i only pretend to be grumpy sometimes for a laugh. i have a strong family, my good health, a job i love doing, music i liove listening to among many other hobbies, no woman to nag me . Back in 1982 i was in Hospital recovering from a serious accident, my wife had left me and i lost my house, no money, no prospects, i was about as low as anyone could get, but thanks to my family (and the local Drama Group!) i managed to rebuild my life again.
However bad it gets...it can only get better!!! now i have my mates on PA like TonyR to cheer me up!
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Men... Women don't always nag, far from that ((I don't)! And I hope I make you laugh too sometimes...
BTW, it's always nice to see happy people around!
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....you do sweetheart!  p.s hope you liked my "review" of new Maiden album...?
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Prog Archives Tour Van
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Raff
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 29 2005
Location: None
Status: Offline
Points: 24429
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Posted: August 30 2006 at 15:17 |
Great, Fred! Thanks a lot for the support... Perhaps one day we'll get them here!
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