As Mad as a Hatter

  Oh Peter,

If you do manage to put my smooth pate upon a pike and place it outside your fortress, either give me some shade or a healthy dollop of SPF45, I'm rather susceptible to sunburn.

Hey, don't RUSH me...

Umm How about an attachment for a key fob,

  tie yer hankie too,

spare buttons- in case a needed one pops off,

ward off crazed EMUs,

percussionist designer, (clack clack..)

Sheesh..... Am I close, yet?

Okay, okay.... web used.

How about: Buttons were a status symbol. Men, scurilous creatures as we are, competed to see who could have the best, the largest or the most intricate buttons. It was a display of wealth and some were set with gem stones.

 Hi Maani!

 You are not citing your sources, so how are we to know that your authority beats mine? Your "corrections" remain alternate theories. Produce near-universally-accepted proof, and I will readily agree with your version(s). (I know, I don't cite all my sources either, but I do when I have them to hand.)

1. You say "life," my source says "soul." What is the real difference, especially if people in the Middle Ages thought that you couldn't live without a soul? Each answer represents an academic theory (and, perhaps, someone's retelling of that theory) -- barring time travel, where's the proof? 

2. Again, what is your source for your definitive answer of 2? I gave mine-- a reputable authority, but still, not PROOF. Please supply the Shakespearean reference for "f*ck." How do you explain the 12th-century name (John Le F*cker)my Dictionary of W.O. cites? And who's to say the 15th C. Italians didn't get their word originally from the Vikings? (Germanic, again.)

3. Though we are in agreement, show me the time machine. Re the "back of the hand," when I raise the visor on my motorcycle helmet, I use my curved fingertips, palm toward face. How is the back of the hand better suited to any manipulative action? It makes no sense -- little grip, & less if clad in metal or leather!

I am careful to use words like "suggested," "assumed" and "according to" in these posts. Real "proof" of such matters often does not exist, and great debates rage on in the hallowed halls of academia. We can't even "prove" Shakespeare's authorship of all his plays, or his sexual orientation.

  Whew! But I don't want to argue about things largely lost in the mists of time, least of all with you, # 2!  (Perhaps you operate more in the realm of faith than I do.)

Now, how about the use of "Y" as a mid-word vowel in merry olde England? You guys are ignoring that one!

Peter Rideout wrote:  Nope! That may explain buttons, but why on cuffs, where they aren't needed?

  That's exactly it, they aren't needed, a sign of opulence.

OR

A class insignia

OR

Familial Designs for Nobles.

  If I gave up that info (sources and such) I'd be forced to reign mighty plutonium fueled pelicans down upon yer land. Their feces melts trailer roofs and ultra fertilizes the soil causing such an over-growth of vegetaion that your faulty electrical grid will grind to a screaching halt and render you unable to continue in your declarations of quetionable subject matter over the, Al Gore created, Internet.

another guess: Hhhmm, considering British horse-riding skills, the buttons were used to attach the feeble riders to their mounts by way of the reigns... 

 > Oh Daaaaaaan-bo! I'm waiting!

Do you give up, oh thick-of-cranium, benumbed-of-skull, and bereft-of-brains (did Adams exact a fearsome toll on the weekend?) Americanski friend?

Shall I end your mental anguish, and put you out of your misery on this one?