Zeppelin and the Occult

Reed Lover wrote: Rob The Plant wrote: Yes K00l, yes he might be. If he was born in Judah, he most certainly wasn't white!

Ever heard of sarcasm mate?

ARTHUR
Speak to us master, speak to us.

BRIAN
Go away!

FOLLOWERS
A blessing! A blessing!

ARTHUR
How shall we go away, Master?!

BRIAN
Oh, just go away! Leave me alone!

SHOE FOLLOWER
Give us a sign!

ARTHUR
He has given us a sign. He has brought us to this place!

BRIAN
I didn't bring you here, you just followed me.

SHOE FOLLOWER
Oh, it's still a good sign by any standard.

ARTHUR
Master, your people have walked many miles to be with you. They are
weary, and have not eaten.

BRIAN
It's not my fault they haven't eaten.

ARTHUR
There is no food in this high mountain.

BRIAN
Well what about the juniper bushes over there.

FOLLOWERS
[Gasp!] A miracle! A miracle!

SHOE FOLLOWER
He has made the bush fruitful by His word.

SNIPE
They have brought forth juniper berries!

BRIAN
Of course they've brought forth juniper berries, they're juniper bushes!
What do you expect?

ELSIE
Show us another miracle!

ARTHUR
Do not tempt him, shallow ones! Is not the miracle of the juniper bushes
enough?

SIMON
I say. Those are my juniper bushes.

ARTHUR
They are a gift from God!

SIMON
They're all I've bloody got to eat. 

HARRY
Lord! I am affected by a bald patch.

BLIND MAN
I am healed! The master has healed me!

BRIAN
I didn't touch him!

BLIND MAN
I was blind, and now I can see! Oh!
--[The blind man throws away his cane, and steps forward... right into the
hole.)

FOLLOWERS
A miracle! A miracle!

SIMON
Tell them to stop it. I hadn't said a word for eighteen years 'till he came
along.

FOLLOWERS
A miracle! He is the Messiah!

SIMON
Well, he hurt my foot!

FOLLOWERS
Hurt my foot lord, hurt mine.

ARTHUR
Hail, messiah.
--[They all get down on their knees.]

BRIAN
I'm not the messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you
understand?!  Honestly!

ARTHUR
I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few.

FOLLOWERS
Hail messiah!

BRIAN
I'm not the messiah, would you please listen! I'm not the messiah, do you
understand? Honestly!

MOUSE
Only the true messiah denies his divinity.

BRIAN
What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the
messiah.

FOLLOWERS
He IS! He IS the messiah!
--[They prostrate themselves in front of him.]

BRIAN
Now f**k off!

--[longish pause]

ARTHUR
How shall we f**k off, oh Lord?

BRIAN
Oh just go away! Leave me alone!

SIMON
You told these people to eat my juniper berries. You break my bloody foot,
you break my vow of silence, and then you try to clean up on my juniper
bushes!

BRIAN
Oh, lay off.

ARTHUR
This is the Messiah, the Chosen One!

SIMON (strangling Brian)
No he's not.

BRIAN
Aaaagh!

ARTHUR
An unbeliever!

FOLLOWERS
An unbeliever!

ARTHUR
Persecute! Kill the heretic!
--[They pick him up and carry him off. =(]

FOLLOWERS
Kill the heretic!  Kill him!  Persecute!  Kill!...

Reed Lover wrote: MDF & Rob The Plank: Oh how unfortunate that you weren't a teenager in the Bible Belt in the 1970's and 80's when the whole "backmasking" craze hit youth groups in every church on every street corner! I'm referring, of course, to the movement of ministers and youth leaders and ex-guitarists who listened to innumerable rock & roll records backwards, looking for satanic messages. Inevitably those who looked hard enough found them, and some lucky folks with connections in Nashville even made videos about these cryptic backwards messages, warning youths of the hidden satanic influence lurking behind their favorite pop stars' lyrics. The crown jewel was Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven," which, they claimed, was loaded from beginning to end with statements about loving and worshiping the Prince of Darkness. These messages, the clerics claimed, could enter into your subconscious, which would then decode them, absorb them and turn your thoughts toward unspeakable evil. "Hell's Bells" was the name of one of these video sets, which you might still be able to purchase today. The show host might, for example, play a clip of a backwards track from Styx's "Snowblind" telling you clearly in advance what the message said, simultaneously displaying the words at the bottom of the screen, and replaying the message several times (even at slower speeds) in case you felt that the spirit's statement was unclear. Curiously enough, these backwards messages never came in complete sentences. Instead they were clips and quips of isolated words and phrases, never anything genuinely complete, coherent and meaningful. And of course, as evidenced by the fact that the announcers on such videos would play the clips again and again, the messages were admittedly quite indiscernible. Check out this 'toon http://www.thefrown.com/wearerobots/tendertron.html It reminds me of some people!

Hearing the new age rubbish spouted by that robot is just like listening to my girlfriend. Sadly. But I've learned to tune her out whenever she starts to talk about her inner unicorn chakras being misaligned with Venus in the ascendency of Sagitarius. I was a bit worried a couple of days ago though when I found her in the bathroom trying to fix the clogged sink by swinging a crystal pendulum above it. And I'm not kidding,she really did!

Pixel Pirate wrote: Reed Lover wrote: MDF & Rob The Plank: Oh how unfortunate that you weren't a teenager in the Bible Belt in the 1970's and 80's when the whole "backmasking" craze hit youth groups in every church on every street corner! I'm referring, of course, to the movement of ministers and youth leaders and ex-guitarists who listened to innumerable rock & roll records backwards, looking for satanic messages. Inevitably those who looked hard enough found them, and some lucky folks with connections in Nashville even made videos about these cryptic backwards messages, warning youths of the hidden satanic influence lurking behind their favorite pop stars' lyrics. The crown jewel was Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven," which, they claimed, was loaded from beginning to end with statements about loving and worshiping the Prince of Darkness. These messages, the clerics claimed, could enter into your subconscious, which would then decode them, absorb them and turn your thoughts toward unspeakable evil. "Hell's Bells" was the name of one of these video sets, which you might still be able to purchase today. The show host might, for example, play a clip of a backwards track from Styx's "Snowblind" telling you clearly in advance what the message said, simultaneously displaying the words at the bottom of the screen, and replaying the message several times (even at slower speeds) in case you felt that the spirit's statement was unclear. Curiously enough, these backwards messages never came in complete sentences. Instead they were clips and quips of isolated words and phrases, never anything genuinely complete, coherent and meaningful. And of course, as evidenced by the fact that the announcers on such videos would play the clips again and again, the messages were admittedly quite indiscernible. Check out this 'toon http://www.thefrown.com/wearerobots/tendertron.html It reminds me of some people! Hearing the new age rubbish spouted by that robot is just like listening to my girlfriend. Sadly. But I've learned to tune her out whenever she starts to talk about her inner unicorn chakras being misaligned with Venus in the ascendency of Sagitarius. I was a bit worried a couple of days ago though when I found her in the bathroom trying to fix the clogged sink by swinging a crystal pendulum above it. And I'm not kidding,she really did!

Sounds like a saucy little filly!

Ask her to try an exorcism Pixel Pirate. Satan has befowled that sink!

Seriously, I'm fundamentally mental. Not fundamentally religious anyway. You?