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Smurph 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 11 2012
Location: Columbus&NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 3167
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 Posted: May 04 2012 at 08:19 |
I have bugs on my penis, but it's ok. They are just sementicks.
And here's one that's so not funny that it actually isn't funny.
Why is the most expensive monopoly property so lame?
Because it's boredwalk.
WEGHWIOWEOIFJSDL:SDF KILL ME NOW
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 08:22 |
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^Doesn't work outside of the US.
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HolyMoly
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin
Joined: April 01 2009
Location: Atlanta
Status: Offline
Points: 26138
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 09:43 |
Snow Dog -- off topic question, but that movie clip gif in your signature with the super hero girl comes from a movie I've seen, but I'm drawing a blank as to what it's called. It was a very cool movie, I do remember that. It's been bugging me for days, could you please remind me? 
Edited by HolyMoly - May 04 2012 at 09:44
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My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 10:19 |
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Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass (cue joke)
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What?
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 10:48 |
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Indeed.
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HolyMoly
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin
Joined: April 01 2009
Location: Atlanta
Status: Offline
Points: 26138
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 11:01 |
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OK, I remember now. Thanks!
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My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 13:31 |
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Sooooooo a family walks into a talent agent's office...
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zappaholic
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822
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Posted: May 04 2012 at 17:40 |
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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: May 05 2012 at 06:58 |
 zappaholic wrote:
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I chuckled
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8743
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Posted: May 05 2012 at 20:47 |
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Did you hear about the guy that stole some classical records and they could not find him?
Because he was Haydn.
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Tapfret
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: August 12 2007
Location: Bryant, Wa
Status: Online
Points: 8620
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Posted: May 09 2012 at 00:07 |
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Haydn's gonna Hayd.
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Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281
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Posted: May 09 2012 at 07:23 |
Why can't Helen Keller eat tacos?
Because she's dead.
Wanna hear a joke about titanium oxide?
Yeah, me neither.
A bar walks into a man WHAT THE f**k
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Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281
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Posted: May 09 2012 at 07:24 |
Q: What did the German say to the black Jew?
A: I'm not sure, I don't speak German.
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clarke2001
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 14 2006
Location: Croatia
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: May 09 2012 at 19:49 |
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Doctor: You will have to stop masturbating.
Man: Why is that?
Doctor: I am trying to examine you.
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8743
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Posted: May 09 2012 at 21:27 |
Textbook wrote:
Why can't Helen Keller eat tacos?
Because she's dead.
Wanna hear a joke about titanium oxide?
Yeah, me neither.
A bar walks into a man WHAT THE f**k |
Crash! Boom Bang! What was that? Helen Keller falling down the well.
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Tapfret
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: August 12 2007
Location: Bryant, Wa
Status: Online
Points: 8620
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Posted: May 09 2012 at 23:14 |
clarke2001 wrote:
Doctor: You will have to stop masturbating.
Man: Why is that?
Doctor: I am trying to examine you.
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How do you know my doctor?
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sksingh
Forum Newbie
Hotel Spamifornia
Joined: May 10 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 2
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Posted: May 10 2012 at 06:26 |
Ambient Hurricanes wrote:
A man is driving home from work at 5 PM. He turns on his local rock radio station, and, as he is a big prog fan, he is happy to hear the the first song is The Spirit of Radio by Rush. After this song is over, the next song comes on. It's Tom Sawyer, and once again the man is quite pleased. But the next song the station plays is Closer to the Heart, and then 2112, and then Fly By Night. By this time, the man is somewhat confused, so he calls in to the radio station. He says, "Look, why are you only playing Rush songs? I love Rush, but I want to hear some other bands, too." The guy at the station replies, "Of course we have to play Rush songs. Don't you know? It's Rush hour."
Is that terrible enough for you? |
Please read the above quote
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DamoXt7942
Special Collaborator
Joined: October 15 2008
Location: Okayama, Japan
Status: Offline
Points: 17493
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Posted: May 10 2012 at 09:06 |
^ The worst joke in this thread. 
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Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281
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Posted: May 10 2012 at 09:24 |
Clarke: Reminds me of this one, which I kinda like:
Doctor: I'm afraid you're going to have to stop eating fried chicken.
Man: Really? For how long?
Doctor: At least until I've finished examining you.
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CPicard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2008
Location: Là, sui monti.
Status: Offline
Points: 10841
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Posted: May 10 2012 at 17:56 |
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Not sure if it's the worst, but it's not the best: it's lame, crude, and... Oh, whatever, here comes the joke:
The patient: Doctor, doctor, my breasts are leaking!
The doctor: I beg your pardon? When and how did you figure out that?
The patient: Well, last evening, when my boyfriend started caressing my breasts, my panties were wet!
If you're looking for me, I'm out.
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