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Cygnus X-2 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 24 2004 Location: Bucketheadland Status: Offline Points: 21342 |
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Me... n00b? Surely you jest. |
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stonebeard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
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Oi, there!!! Ye disgrace the already shameful Velvet Room with your parades of Zappa and Mid-Eighties King Crimson!!! Bereft of hope are ye now!!! B-BOOM!!!! VROOM!!!!! THRaKaTTaCK!!!!!!! |
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Cygnus X-2 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 24 2004 Location: Bucketheadland Status: Offline Points: 21342 |
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Unlimited POWER!!!!!! EleKtricity!!!!!!!!! FracKture!!!!!!!!! THRAK!!!!!!!! ProjeKction of a foreign object!!!!!!!!!!!
You can't disagree that the 80s Crimson ramblings were a disgrace! Edited by Cygnus X-2 |
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stonebeard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
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Ye have only glimpsed the true shining brilliance of mine wrath!!!! Aroma Therapy!!!!!
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Cygnus X-2 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 24 2004 Location: Bucketheadland Status: Offline Points: 21342 |
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Oh blow it out thine ass. |
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Velvetclown ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: February 13 2004 Status: Offline Points: 8548 |
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HA
I´ll just bite Cygnus ear and he`ll WIMP OUT !!!!!!!!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Jim Garten ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
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Ha! Such wimpish aroma therapy has nothing to compare to my newly rebuilt, redesigned and re-calibrated Patented Garten Real Ale Methane Accelerator MkIV. You cannot even hold a candle to my creation... Here, I'll show you with this candle.... ++now, where's my lighter++ Right - Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaa! ![]() Bugger! |
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![]() Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Cygnus X-2 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 24 2004 Location: Bucketheadland Status: Offline Points: 21342 |
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Alright, where are ye stonebeard? It's time for me to show you what the Dark Brotherhood is all about.
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stonebeard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
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Ye hide in the shadows like an infant under a blanket ye pansy!!! *Proceeds to a capella sing "Bohemian Raphsody" (hey, it's prog!) while beating Cygnus within an inch of his meandering life with a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird...for an ironic tinge* |
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Cygnus X-2 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 24 2004 Location: Bucketheadland Status: Offline Points: 21342 |
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I hide in the shadows only to make your death more swift and unexpected!!! *Commences to give Chinese Water Torture to stonebeard while singing in his best Geoff Mann voice, while a nearby cat scratches a plate with his tail... which is right smack dab in between a burning copy of Larks' Tongue in Aspic and The Masquerade Overture... and stonebeard can only weep and sing "The Pursuit of Excellence" much to the reluctance of Cyg* |
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VanderGraafKommandöh ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
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Where's my +9 Axe of Almighty Green Day Powerchords when I need it?
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stonebeard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
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*After being stunned by the awe-inspiring rendition of "In the Persuit of Excellence" courtesy of Stonebeard, Cyg is forced into a cage wherin he is forced to take innumerble hits of LSD, listen to M.D.K., and watch Ghost in the Shell and Akira. After coming down from the LSD and feeling positively mind-blown, Cyg is then forced to watch Requiem for a Dream followed immediatly by Grave of the Fireflies. Upon completion, Cyg falls into a permanent stated of inescapable depression, anxiety, hopelessness, fear, psychosis, paranoia, and ultimately insanity. Meanwhile, Stonebeard went to Cyg's house in Alamo, CA and burned every Rush CD within the home. Knowing that Cyg wouldn't be coming back, he ransacked the place and took every worthy Neo-Prog CD he didn't already have. After realizing his Neo-Prog collection was far beyond whatever Cyg's could hope to be, even if Cyg still retained the ability to order let alone listen to music, Stonie took all the cash is Cyg's house and bank account, travelled to Japan, and became a playboy extraordinairre, with an endless stream of sexy Japanese, prog-loving, ladies waiting to please him in any way he deemed necessary. Stonebeard went on to unite the world against crappy music by forming the Death to Caress of Steel Ideology Organization. The End.* |
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VanderGraafKommandöh ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
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*Except Geck0 was lurking in the shadows at Cyg's house with a copy of ELP's Love Beach. He takes out the CD and frisbees it at Stonebeard, it slices off his left ear (that's the neo ear) and leaves him with just the Frank Zappa and Symphonic listening ear. He then grabs Stonebeard by his remaining ear, drags him down the street, finds an Eminem loving city type, cuts off his ear and then sticks this ear to Stonebeard's empty lughole, thus causing Stonebead to start gangsta rapping like the pros, but also having a tendency to quote Peter Hammill mindlessly. Stonebeard doesn't want a life of gangsta rap and thus throws himself under a car, but he ultimately misses and rolls in front of Phil Collins, who happens to be walking down the sidewalk. Phil greats him, sees his copy of Abacab and We Can't Dance under his jacket (that he stole from Cyg's house) and French kisses Stonebeard for full on 10 minutes. Thus causing Stonebeard to turn openly homosexual. He tries to jump under yet another car, but fails miserably. This time he is picked up by the police, who drag him off and put him in a cell. He is given life in prisonment, for owning a copy of Abacab, We Can't Dance and Script For A Jester's Tear and will never see daylight again. The End*
Edited by Geck0 |
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Cygnus X-2 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 24 2004 Location: Bucketheadland Status: Offline Points: 21342 |
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Interesting... *While Cyg is in what stonebeard thinks is a state of chaotic depression, Cyg is really telekinetically planting small amounts of C-4 into the the brain of all the members of Pendragon, so that the next time that they think of performing The Pursuit of Excellence, they all explode in an extremely gory haze. With no Pendragon left, stonebeard decides that there is no reason for him to live. So he gives all of his cds to Cyg and joins a Buddhist Monastery, never to come back or listen to his beloved neo-prog again. But while at the monastery, his head explodes after a conversation in which a helpless monk confesses his extreme distaste for neo-prog, to the point where he'd rather commit suicide than listen to the repetetive Genesis rip-off genre. Cyg now rules the world as the supreme commander of Neo-Prog.*
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VanderGraafKommandöh ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
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Mine's better.
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stonebeard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
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*Stonebeard takes out his portable Nick Barrett shrine and proceeds to sacrifice Cyg and Geck0 in the Name of Excellency. That is, Pendragon. After all of their blasphemous blood has been drained from their ever-so-feeble frames, Stonebeard uses his Master of Illusion powers to send their remains on a Voyage to a place Not of this World. He then becomes King of the Castle with his Queen of Hearts Jessica Alba. He peers inteo her Window of Life everyday. Fin*
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VanderGraafKommandöh ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
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*Little did Stonebeard know that Geck0 and Cyggie were sent to the world of The Elder Scrolls and thus Cyggie knew his way around easily. They had an amazing time, introducing all the prog greats to the Nords and all the other races there. They then went to the Daedra, raised an army, along with the Vampires and Werewolves and found the "Missing key to the mysterious Prog world* and opened up the portal. There was a stampede of Daedra, Werewolves and many other races, both good and evil. United as one. They went to "The Castle" (which looked just like the one Kafka portrayed), marched right on in (see, Kakfa, that's how you get in!), beat the crap out of Stonebeard, but saving him from death (because we're kind after all). Cyggie grabbed Jessica Alba and had his way with her, she fell pregnant and had a mini-Cyggie, who loved Neo and Zappa (and looked liked Kefka from Final Fantasy VI). Kefka became an evil genius, took over the world and had Daedra as his minions. Geck0, Cyggie and Jessica lived happily into retirement, whilst Stonebeard was tied and taped and bound in The Castle dungeon, with just a portable CD player. The CD (Emimen's cover version The Persuit of Excellence) was played ad infinitum and poor Stonebeard became a nervous wreck and he died a lonely lonely man.
Fin, finito, the end* |
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Velvetclown ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: February 13 2004 Status: Offline Points: 8548 |
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Oh No !!!
Jim Garten had Baked Beans for supper again !!! ![]() ![]() |
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Velvetclown ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: February 13 2004 Status: Offline Points: 8548 |
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Well I guess I can´t say that in here ........Sorry Mr Garten, but all the farting people of the third world would hate me for it
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Bj-1 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 04 2005 Location: No(r)Way Status: Offline Points: 31644 |
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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