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Kati
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 10 2010
Location: Earth
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Points: 6253
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 02:39 |
Silver Linings Playbook is a good movie, great dialogue I love interesting and tortured characters.
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Kati
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 10 2010
Location: Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 6253
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 02:35 |
Sean Trane wrote:
Kati wrote:
hahaha! the whistle smiley Uhm French, I am rusty in French You can easily write in bi-language, thus voila problem solved! Now I really want to read that!!! |
Not sure it's up everyone's alley: it's kind of brutal and un-apologetic
Though the main character (a feminine version of yours truly >> I told you i was a lesbian) talks constantly, there are no dialogues at all
anyway, it will be on the back-burner for a while, coz I will give my exploratory research project the priority
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Aha! We need more Stieg Larsson kind of novels
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20239
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 02:29 |
Kati wrote:
hahaha! the whistle smiley Uhm French, I am rusty in French You can easily write in bi-language, thus voila problem solved! Now I really want to read that!!! |
Not sure it's up everyone's alley: it's kind of brutal and un-apologetic Though the main character (a feminine version of yours truly >> I told you i was a lesbian) talks constantly, there are no dialogues at all anyway, it will be on the back-burner for a while, coz I will give my exploratory research project the priority
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Kati
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 10 2010
Location: Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 6253
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 01:55 |
hahaha! the whistle smiley Uhm French, I am rusty in French You can easily write in bi-language, thus voila problem solved! Now I really want to read that!!!
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20239
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 01:51 |
Kati wrote:
you need to go back to writing/finishing your novel and let us enjoy some of that too! |
well it's in french... and likely to ruffle a few feathers the wrong way (especially the straight-thinkers )
Kati wrote:
Sean, you have a blunt but also very intriguing way expressing yourself. You say things in an honest and uncanny manner. |
yeah, it's raw, straight from the cask and just like uncoffered concrete the rare persons who read my scribblings said that it was totally "moi"
Edited by Sean Trane - November 07 2015 at 01:55
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Kati
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 10 2010
Location: Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 6253
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 01:45 |
Sean Trane wrote:
Of course I can rebuild it - I still have it in mind...
But it was really refined - and some of the expressions I used had people rolling on the floor - and I doubt I can do better than what was lost.
But it's more than that really. With that theft, I lost the envy/will to write
Though I had some issues prior to that (father's succession and arsehole at work), this was the first event that start a downwards spiral that ended (or culminated) in the loss of my car in a pile up early March. I kind of lost the plot and it started a period of heavy doubt. Actually while the traffic accident was handled catastrophically by the Dutch emergency services - thankfully no-oner was hurt - it also served as an electro-shock after a depression bout and can be maybe the start of a "new start".
I've closed a fair amount of problematic files (including just yesterday the eviction the neighbour woman sexually pursuing me from around the time of my computer theft>> well not for that reason, she wasn't paying her rent either).
Just to put it this way: I haven't written a single review for anyone since the theft: though I had a copy of my review file on a memory stick to post the reviews at coffee break at work - so I hardly lost a thing in that direction.
But on top of my "novel" (to be pompous >> I generally tend to qualify it as "scribbling"), just as importantly (if not more), I lost a scientific exploratory research project (for the research institute I work) I was developping at home (too busy at work to take time at work to do so there) and I wasn't able to submit it at deadline time (in March). but I've recently found approval to develop this at work, but I'll need some engineers to help out developing the exploratory research call: hopefully, if one day, humanity will drive air-compressed cars, it will be (partly) because of the (my) project to investigate the future compressed air tanking stations. (I've been driving on non-polluting LPG/GPL for almost a quarter century, BTW)
I also had started to work on two climatic projects: stop glacier melting (and avoid some typhoons from developping (solution could be just that easy >> 500 m away). Needless to say, I will have to rebuild from scratch there as well.
well, I bought a hard drive back up system now
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Sean, you have a blunt but also very intriguing way expressing yourself. You say things in an honest and uncanny manner. You certainly have the knack for writing, I have noticed this over and over in the things you write when you post. You interest me very much, you need to write, you need to go back to writing/finishing your novel and let us enjoy some of that too!
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20239
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 01:38 |
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
Status: Offline
Points: 65248
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 01:33 |
Didn't realize. Yes of course you're right. It was largely 'Rubbish Advice' .
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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20239
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Posted: November 07 2015 at 01:25 |
Of course I can rebuild it - I still have it in mind... But it was really refined - and some of the expressions I used had people rolling on the floor - and I doubt I can do better than what was lost. But it's more than that really. With that theft, I lost the envy/will to write Though I had some issues prior to that (father's succession and arsehole at work), this was the first event that start a downwards spiral that ended (or culminated) in the loss of my car in a pile up early March. I kind of lost the plot and it started a period of heavy doubt. Actually while the traffic accident was handled catastrophically by the Dutch emergency services - thankfully no-oner was hurt - it also served as an electro-shock after a depression bout and can be maybe the start of a "new start". I've closed a fair amount of problematic files (including just yesterday the eviction the neighbour woman sexually pursuing me from around the time of my computer theft>> well not for that reason, she wasn't paying her rent either). Just to put it this way: I haven't written a single review for anyone since the theft: though I had a copy of my review file on a memory stick to post the reviews at coffee break at work - so I hardly lost a thing in that direction. But on top of my "novel" ( to be pompous >> I generally tend to qualify it as "scribbling"), just as importantly (if not more), I lost a scientific exploratory research project (for the research institute I work) I was developping at home (too busy at work to take time at work to do so there) and I wasn't able to submit it at deadline time (in March). but I've recently found approval to develop this at work, but I'll need some engineers to help out developing the exploratory research call: hopefully, if one day, humanity will drive air-compressed cars, it will be (partly) because of the (my) project to investigate the future compressed air tanking stations. (I've been driving on non-polluting LPG/GPL for almost a quarter century, BTW)I also had started to work on two climatic projects: stop glacier melting (and avoid some typhoons from developping (solution could be just that easy >> 500 m away). Needless to say, I will have to rebuild from scratch there as well. well, I bought a hard drive back up system now
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
Status: Offline
Points: 65248
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 11:55 |
^ That's a tough one, Hugues, it's happened to friends of mine. You can rebuild; it won't be the same but it can, with a little luck, even be better as one improves and matures as a writer.
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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20239
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 11:50 |
Writing previews for PA certainly got my fire to write again I'd written a novel (about 2/3 finished, but I started in 09) but my laptop got stolen last November ... and I didn't have a back-up ... Actually it was a few novellas that I managed to link into a story. those who read me were enthused by my French-written style and even more by what I had to say All lost (well the last version I had on a memory stick dating from '11) I'll be honest, I've kind of given upon it
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
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Points: 65248
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 11:50 |
^ Maybe if you want to convey that kind of story, but if your characters and setting are not so literal or familiar, realistic talking can be dull and not very helpful to the readers.
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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy
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BaldFriede
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 02 2005
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 10261
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 11:47 |
Atavachron wrote:
Dean wrote:
So... my question is: How do you all go about writing dialog? |
I agree dialog is tricky. One thing I've begun to notice about good film scripts is that the dialog is lean, economic and to-the-point; it tends to contain vivid, brief descriptions and clear symbology that communicates an idea quickly instead of lingering over things and words. Though books are a bit different I still notice brevity of speech moves the story along. |
Yes and no. The problem is that with little speech you are apt to create either cardboard characters or caricatures. People are not always to the point; they are often long-winded, beat around the bush or deliberately talk about something else. If you reduce dialog too much you wind up on sit-com level.
Edited by BaldFriede - November 04 2015 at 11:54
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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
Status: Offline
Points: 65248
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 11:38 |
Dean wrote:
So... my question is: How do you all go about writing dialog? |
I agree dialog is tricky. One thing I've begun to notice about good film scripts is that the dialog is lean, economic and to-the-point; it tends to contain vivid, brief descriptions and clear symbology that communicates an idea quickly instead of lingering over things and words. Though books are a bit different I still notice brevity of speech moves the story along.
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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy
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BaldFriede
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 02 2005
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 10261
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 11:33 |
Polymorphia wrote:
Dean wrote:
So... my question is: How do you all go about writing dialog?
...
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With dialogue tags, I usually use them sparingly. Only if I need to. Previously, I have used them needlessly. Also, coming up with more creative ones than "said/replied/uttered/asked." There's also "muttered," "mumbled," "coughed," "rasped," "taunted," etc. Words that are more specific and colorful. Dialogue tags are not the only way you can attribute dialogue either. Here's an example: "The sergeant moved around in his seat. 'How can you expect me to believe you?'" |
I occasionally even use verbs that are not used for sound utterances. Two examples: „You first“, gestured Friede. „You are the taller one“.
„Old woman“, grinned Friede.
That way I can communicate actions, like a gesture or a grin here, with spoken words quite elegantly.
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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.
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Polymorphia
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 06 2012
Location: here
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Points: 8856
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 10:53 |
Dean wrote:
So... my question is: How do you all go about writing dialog?
...
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Well, I just wrote dialogue how I felt, until I noticed that the dialogue felt thin. Not so much forced as insubstantial. The pacing would speed up on dialogue sections and slow down on others. Not being one to push the pace, I decided to beef up my dialogue. The first thing I did was practicing adding body language to the mix. That helped a bit.
The second thing I did was practicing adding plot-unrelated dialogue that was merely meant to say something about the characters. It's usually hard to communicate both plot and character in one part of the dialogue. If the new character is being introduced, you have to give them dialogue that reveals the part of their character that you want to inform the first impression and then start working in the plot as the dialogue goes on. Trying to do too many things at once was one of the sources of the forced-ness of my dialogue. If you make a line of dialogue do too much work, your readers may not grasp all of what you're trying to do, whether consciously or unconsciously.
Another thing is handle on the language. Malapropisms can terribly hurt your dialogue unless you are clearly using them intentionally.
And, obviously, knowing how your characters would talk is important.
With dialogue tags, I usually use them sparingly. Only if I need to. Previously, I have used them needlessly. Also, coming up with more creative ones than "said/replied/uttered/asked." There's also "muttered," "mumbled," "coughed," "rasped," "taunted," etc. Words that are more specific and colorful. Dialogue tags are not the only way you can attribute dialogue either. Here's an example: "The sergeant moved around in his seat. 'How can you expect me to believe you?'"
With the excerpt, I noticed that my first tendency was to read it as a discussion between two characters rather than five. I noticed the lines where a third character may have chimed in, and others where a character might have disagreed with another that implied there was a fourth and fifth.
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Matti
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 15 2005
Location: Finland
Status: Offline
Points: 2118
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 07:12 |
Amidst my now active writing tasks -- I just finished another re-issue album article -- I share my own writer's background. I bold-up the things that I think are more or less crucial for writers. I've been an avid reader (of fiction mainly) all my life. In my youth I wrote few short stories, but I don't think I have the needed inner urge/ambition/patience to try a career of a writer. In university I studied literature, without any clear vision what I'd do for living, simply because I liked it. Before I finally got myself a profession (as a librarian) I wrote newspaper criticism for books and theatre. That was more like a hobby. My good friend is a music critic and I truly don't envy him, as he struggles on the edge of making a living out of it. I'm in the happy position of being a semi-professional writer without the financial pressures. My first tiny published participations dealed with literature ('05-'07). Naturally I had some aspirations/ambitions to make a book of some kind (the smallest effort would have been as an editor of a short story anthology, an idea I once tried to push forward). I remember well the moment in the summer of 2010 when I realized that there is a certain subject that hadn't seen a publication in Finnish and on which I had a long-time passion (and which had already become a subject of a hobby-like writing due to ProgArchives!): progressive rock. A couple of years passed by (increasing my knowledge on the subject) until one evening I was filled with inspiration and started to work on my prog book that was released 15 months later. Encouraged by the warm reception I'm continuing in this area, and luckily the right time to concentrate on writing came along this year. The basic fact is simply that I like writing on things that I enjoy. Right now I sit here writing this useless, self-reflective message instead of finally having a lunch after finishing my article. I really better stay inactive when it comes to time-consuming forum writing!
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BaldFriede
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 02 2005
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 10261
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 05:50 |
I am not certain I can explain how I do it, Dean. I try to put myself into the situation of the speakers and then come up with actions they might be doing in that situation and intersperse the dialogues with them. This does however not work on a conscious level; the images just come up in my mind.
Thinking aurally also helps a lot. I imagine the dialogue spoken in my head. This helps coming up with the right verb (in essence not always "say" or "reply").
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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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Posted: November 04 2015 at 04:56 |
On the subject of clumsily forced dialog. Once, while writing a script for a comic strip that a friend wanted to co-produce with me, I spent ages trying to force the name Persephone to pun with purse phone... The premise was that the protagonist in the comic had only ever seen the name written down and didn't know it should have been pronounced per-seph-o-nee, (and the other complication was the character she was talking to was a pretentious snob who only spoke in iambic pentameter). A comic strip makes dialog relatively easy because speech-bubbles tell you who is talking and the drawn facial expressions negate the need for using adjectives to describe how each line was spoken, the tough part is that there is a necessity for brevity in speech (and narrative) in each panel (brevity is never an epithet that can apply to me). Sadly on that occasion whatever I wrote seemed forced and unnatural when attempting to squeeze it into two panels of a comic.
So... my question is: How do you all go about writing dialog?
As we can see from Friede's example she has successfully managed to write a long passage of dialog between two people that manages to be easy to follow without excessive use of she said/she replied etc.,... that's the part I struggle with when writing - the spoken parts are easy enough (forced puns aside), it's the descriptive narrative between each line of dialog that gets in the way.
In the following extract, I've dispensed with that completely and just changed the font to denote one of the speakers, the rest the reader has to deduce from what they are saying... which probably won't make much sense out of context here. Taken from a novel about travelling between alternative realities or times or worlds (we're never sure which), the scene takes place in a darkened room between the five main characters in the story: the unnamed hero, a tele-sales operative called Lacy, Lorina Liddell (Alice's elder sister as featured in Lewis Carol's books), Leif Ericsson (the first European to reach the American continent) and Lacy's doppleganger from an alternative reality... [warning: it contains course language]
71: analogue dialogue the smellevision script…what's happening?‘Thanks for that, you've done my self-esteem the power of
good.’ ‘I think we all smell of stale cigarette smoke, late nights
and cheap wine.’ ‘And what the hell is that smell?’ ‘I don't know what that is, what is it?’ ‘F*ck and Off - in that order.’ ‘Well? What the f*ck is it then?’ ‘Nothing a decent shower and some mouthwash will not cure.’ ‘Ah, right. About the shower…’ ‘Oh, sh*t. The porthole thing. Sorry, I forgot.’ ‘Uh? Okay… I remember. Oh God. I was only washing my hair.’ ‘Do not cry, you are safe now.’ ‘Sorry. But I don't feel safe.’ ‘Oh f*ck. There's never going to be enough hot water for five
baths.’ ‘We're going to have to share.’ ‘That
sounds like a plan.’ ‘It's going to be a little crowded.’ ‘I didn't mean we all share at the same time.’ ‘You can say that again.’ ‘Why, you heard me the first time.’ ‘It does
not divide by two.’ ‘That is a point, I think we should boil some more water.’ ‘But I
had one yesterday.’ ‘Congratulations. I didn't know it was your birthday.’ ‘Anyway. You're having one today as well.’ ‘Whether you need it or not.’ ‘Oh, he needs it alright.’ ‘Aww. That's so sweet. I trust you too.’ |
This goes on for several more pages, but you get the idea.
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What?
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BaldFriede
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 02 2005
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 10261
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Posted: November 03 2015 at 12:30 |
Vompatti wrote:
For me a good piece of writing is a series of images and ideas unfolding at their natural pace like wild flowers. |
Allow me to make a haiku of that: Good piece of writing: Images and ideas Slowly unfolding.
Edited by BaldFriede - November 03 2015 at 12:35
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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.
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