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tuxon

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502

Topic: !!!!!!!!!!!JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Posted: January 28 2005 at 16:39

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

Certif1ed

Special Collaborator

Honorary Collaborator

Joined: April 08 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 7559

Posted: January 28 2005 at 15:59

What's green and furry, has 8 legs, and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree on top of you?

A Snooker Table.

aqualung28 View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: December 03 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 916

Posted: January 25 2005 at 01:47

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes!

"O' lady look up in time o' lady look out of love
'n you should have us all
O' you should have us fall"
"Bill's Corpse" By Captain Beefheart

Ivan_Melgar_M View Drop Down

Special Collaborator

Honorary Collaborator

Joined: April 27 2004
Location: Peru
Status: Offline
Points: 19535

Posted: January 25 2005 at 00:57

My sincere opinion about all jokes here:

Better keep talking about Prog' guys, you're good on that.

Iván

Edited by ivan_2068

gdub411

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 24 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 3484

Posted: January 24 2005 at 23:22

threefates wrote:

I've got one you won't get either...

Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus...

At least you can get a girl to blow your bonus!!

EVIL!!!...actually i loved KPG's highly descriptive detail of what a water gun was. That was humour.

threefates View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215

Posted: January 24 2005 at 23:02

I've got one you won't get either...

Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus...

At least you can get a girl to blow your bonus!!

THIS IS ELP

threefates View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215

Posted: January 24 2005 at 23:00

tuxon wrote:

K00l Prog Guruz wrote:

threefates wrote:

Sorry Kool... that one completely escapes me...........

I shall explain it in depth...

A water gun is a toy marketd to the 6-12 year old age groop, which expells water at hi presure form a nozal at the front. This is cozd by the opening of a valve when the trigger is presd by the finger. The valve releses the pressure built up by pumping air into a tube usuly lokated at the top of the gun.

Therefore the punch line of the pun exists becuz i attributed puting a gun under water, with a water gun.

get it? (LOL!!!!!)/ (LMA())

The pressure is higher under water (10 meters of depth correspond with 1 atmosphere)

Therefor the gun gets wet.

If that was suppose to be funny... nope I guess I still don't get the joke... Of course, I don't think there was a joke there to get.. but good try!!

THIS IS ELP

Valarius

Forum Senior Member

Joined: January 08 2005
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 1480

Posted: January 24 2005 at 19:06

maani wrote:

I think I can top (bottom?) that.

What do you call a row of rabbits who all take a step backward at the same time?

A receding hare-line...

Peace.

I don't get it though.

tuxon

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502

Posted: January 24 2005 at 18:16

A tomato enters a hairsalon, tumptie tumptie tum

Says the hairdresser, Hai Red

On which the tomato replies'where not gonna discriminate are we

"No" says the hairdresser, "You haven't got any hair"

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

tuxon

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502

Posted: January 24 2005 at 18:13

K00l Prog Guruz wrote:

threefates wrote:

Sorry Kool... that one completely escapes me...........

The pressure is higher under water (10 meters of depth correspond with 1 atmosphere)

Therefor the gun gets wet.

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

sigod

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779

Posted: January 24 2005 at 08:31

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff

Badoom Chusshhh!

I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill

Hangedman

Prog Reviewer

Joined: November 03 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1261

Posted: January 23 2005 at 23:24

aqualung28 wrote:

Oh,oh, I got a joke.

Phil Collins!

OH SNAP!

K00l Prog Guruz View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: November 26 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 224

Posted: January 23 2005 at 23:22

I got a joke too! Ian Anderson!

"The world is in your hands, now use it." Good'ol Phil

aqualung28 View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: December 03 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 916

Posted: January 23 2005 at 22:57

Oh,oh, I got a joke.

Phil Collins!

"O' lady look up in time o' lady look out of love
'n you should have us all
O' you should have us fall"
"Bill's Corpse" By Captain Beefheart

K00l Prog Guruz View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: November 26 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 224

Posted: January 23 2005 at 22:52

threefates wrote:

Sorry Kool... that one completely escapes me...........

"The world is in your hands, now use it." Good'ol Phil

Vegetableman View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 27 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 242

Posted: January 23 2005 at 22:14

Theres two muffins cooking in the oven.

One says "Man Its hot it in here"

The other one says "Whoa a talking muffin"

"Mister Fripp, your music is quite different than everything else out there. In one word, how would you describe it?"

"Progressive.... yeah, that's it..."

maani

Special Collaborator

Founding Moderator

Joined: January 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2632

Posted: January 23 2005 at 21:55

What do you get when you cross a tortoise with a postal worker?...

A slower tortoise!

Jim Garten View Drop Down

Special Collaborator

Retired Admin & Razor Guru

Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693

Posted: January 23 2005 at 16:28

What's white and wears check trousers?

Rupert The Fridge

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012

goose

Forum Senior Member

Joined: June 20 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 4097

Posted: January 23 2005 at 15:19

What do you get if you cross a chimp and a pansy?

...

...

...

A chimpanzee!

don't mind me...

tuxon

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502

Posted: January 23 2005 at 13:40

I thought it was going to be one of those filthy gay jokes

no I didn't

What's blue and fit's in a socket?

A grape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha I'm hilarious

Edited by tuxon

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

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