HERE I AM AGAIN THE ONLY ONE IN THE FORUM AND IT IS MIDNIGHT!! OF COURSE I CAN DANCE AROUND AND WAVE MY HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE A GOOSE BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SEE ME NYANYANYANYANYA, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS THRAED.......ABSOLUTLY NON AT ALL EXCEPT.. HOW MANY OF YOU OCCASIONALLY SIT IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER WANDERING AIMLESSLY OVER THE INTERNET LATE AT NIGHT AND THINK "BLOODY HELL WHAT AM I DOING AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR" IF SO DROP  AN ENTRY HERE AND TELL US WHAT TIME IT IS WHERE YOU ARE(PREFERABLY AFTER MIDNIGHT)

NO, I AM NOT DRUNK AND YES I KNOW THE REST OF YOU HAVE LIVES AND YES I KNOW THAT JUST BECAUSE IT IS NIGHT HERE ETC...BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN...........

THIS IS A THRAED FOR THE LATE NIGHTERS

HERE, IT IS 12:12 AM APRIL 30 2004

Ever look at a grease spot on yer shirt? Sometimes it looks like somebody famous. I had one that reminded me of Robert Fripp. I cut it out of the shirt, sealed it in polyurethane, paid $90.00 to mount it in a shadowbox and put it on the wall of my King Crimson shrine. That same week, I was on a bus traveling south to Bakersfield when I noticed this woman in the seat directly in front of me wearing a pale blue blouse with a stain in the shape of Bill Bruford, complete with drum kit. This was my lucky day!!!! I offered her $50.00 and the shirt I was wearing. She went to the commode at the back of the bus with my shirt and  changed. Minutes later she brought it back to me. I was soooo happy. I sat for the whole three hour drive staring at it. Sometimes I actual saw the stain move, man, it's like Bill was soloing. Wow, stains are cool.........

(what the  was that?)

Taco anyone?  Posting when bored can cause a serious breakdown in common sense. sheesh.

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IT IS NOW 12:45 am 30 april 2004

DANBO YOUR ANIMATION SUMS IT UP BEUTIFULLY!!! (PERHAPS I NEED TO GET A GIRLFREIND!! BUT WHO WANTS TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO TAKES THREE TIMES LONGER TO RAED THE MENU THAN THEY DO)

HERE YA GO!

I haven't seen any empirical evidence that Aguilera can read at all.

GOOD BYE EVERYONE

 LOL!

EHW! Porn alert!

dude wrote: GOOD BYE EVERYONE

Awww don't leave dude!

I'm sure you could find "some" good quality in those girls.

ACTUALLY I AM JUST GIONG TO TAKE A VERY COLD SHOWER

IT IS 1:16 AM MAY 2 2004 ITS SATURDAY NIGHT(OR SUNDAY MORNING!!) THE NEXT DOOR NIEGHBOURS ARE PLAYING A TRACK BY OFFSPRING, I KNOW THE TRACK BUT CANT REMEMBER ITS NAME .IT IS COLD AND THE ANTARCTIC BLASTS OF WINTER THREATEN SNOW WHICH IS RARE IN THIS PART OF MY COUNTRY. I AM RUNNING OUT OF NET HOURS AGAIN SO I WILL HAVE TO TOP UP(OR CHANGE MY PLAN!!)

I HAVE TO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS

IT IS 1:31am MAY 2 2004 THERE ARE NO GEUSTS OR NO ACTIVE USERS ON LINE......THE RAIN LASHES WALLS AND WINDOWS BEATING THEM WITH THOUSANDS OF SMALL FISTS, THE WIND HOWLS ITS CONTEMPT AT MY EXISTANCE........THE BADGERS OF DARKNESS ARE MASSING, IT IS TIME FOR THE GREAT BATTLE............WISH ME LUCK!

With no one to talk to on-line, Dude settles in with a bottle of lotion, an old sweat sock and a photo or Mother Teresa. "Damn these calluses" Dude mutters, while working the lotion into the calluses formed on his arid vegamite stained    fingertips, the jaded Aussie contemplates the photo and possiblities of a life of servitude..... "Nah!!!" he says aloud to the hail stones pinging off the metallic roofing of his supersecret Dudezan Mobile Fortress.

Getting up from the battered davenport, Dude stares out at the dark sullen sky and rubs the lotion deeper into the flakey flesh. "Hmm" Dude has a thought, "liver, fava beans and a nice chiante, maybe an eggroll, too. Ah crikey, it's only 2004, no census takers out for six more years."

1:35am May 2, 2004.... "Still no one on-line, !!!"

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dude wrote: IT IS 1:31am MAY 2 2004 THERE ARE NO GEUSTS OR NO ACTIVE USERS ON LINE......THE RAIN LASHES WALLS AND WINDOWS BEATING THEM WITH THOUSANDS OF SMALL FISTS, THE WIND HOWLS ITS CONTEMPT AT MY EXISTANCE........THE BADGERS OF DARKNESS ARE MASSING, IT IS TIME FOR THE GREAT BATTLE............WISH ME LUCK!

Ha! The tone of this belongs on my hallowed (but sadly-neglected) "Serious Progressive Rock Listeners' Thread." (Sigh.) The poor lone outback Australian -- nothing but shivering dingoes for company. Oh, the sheer ennui of it all!

Sob....

Good one Sir Dewd! I laughed, I cried, I coughed, I horked up a lung, I laughed again, cried some more, took my Geritol, then went to bed....

danbo wrote: With no one to talk to on-line, Dude settles in with a bottle of lotion, an old sweat sock and a photo or Mother Teresa. "Damn these calluses" Dude mutters, while working the lotion into the calluses formed on his arid vegamite stained    fingertips, the jaded Aussie contemplates the photo and possiblities of a life of servitude..... "Nah!!!" he says aloud to the hail stones pinging off the metallic roofing of his supersecret Dudezan Mobile Fortress. Getting up from the battered davenport, Dude stares out at the dark sullen sky and rubs the lotion deeper into the flakey flesh. "Hmm" Dude has a thought, "liver, fava beans and a nice chiante, maybe an eggroll, too. Ah crikey, it's only 2004, no census takers out for six more years." 1:35am May 2, 2004.... "Still no one on-line, !!!"

Ha!

Very witty Wilde! I wish I had said that.....

ITS IS NOW 1:21 am MAY 5 2004  I AM EATING A PIE(COURTASY OF THE ELDER GODS WHOM I HAVE SERVED)..UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH SEVERED HEADS IN IT!.

I DARE NOT COMPLAIN!!!!!

dude wrote: ITS IS NOW 1:21 am MAY 5 2004  I AM EATING A PIE(COURTASY OF THE ELDER GODS WHOM I HAVE SERVED)..UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH SEVERED HEADS IN IT!. I DARE NOT COMPLAIN!!!!!

You might petition for the broiled breast of weasel, freshly ripped from it's still quivering body.

I've in the past found this repast strangely....... soothing.

IT IS NOW 1:46 AM IN THE MORNING MAY 5 2004 A NEARBY DOG BARKS TO MUCH!!

THE GODS HAVE A TASK FOR ME!!!

Yet another pin up for our senile member Dude

AH YES GOOD OLD BRITISH RIAL!!

NOT SURE IF I SHOULD SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MOTHER TERESA, THAT WOULD BE UNCOUTH!!!

BRING BACK MARIAH !!!!!

Velvetclown wrote:   Yet another pin up for our senior member Dude

Tra la la! Blah dee blah dee blah blah! Hum hum, whistle whistle, etc.

Jim Garten wrote: Coincidentally, when the music died, (Bye bye, Miss American Pi) it was during the week following the death of Diana, Princess Of Wales - during the same week, Sir Georg Solti passed away (arguably, the finest conductor of the 20th century); these 2 deaths warranted a mere passing mention in the news in favour of the preparations for Diana's funeral. My opinions of Diana, and the Royal family in general shall remain unsaid.

(^ Why does doddering, drooling old Jim think I will mention some unnamed woman?)

Re Diana, an extremely wealthy mother of 2 died in a car accident. Sad, but fatal car accidents happen every day, and with just as much devastation to the lives of the families and loved ones.

At least the princelings will be well provided for.

Ok how about a nude turtle then ....or a mock turtle.

Velvetclown wrote: Ok how about a nude turtle then ....or a mock turtle.

Ha! Now that's amusing!

We all cross the line sometimes, Mr. Corduroyclown. -- I do it regularly! (And I may just be about to do so now.)

PS: I'll remove my indignant response when you remove your frilly pink pantaloons. Deal?

BE ASSURED THAT NO BLAME RESTS WITH YOU DANBO

Velvetclown wrote:   Yet another pin up for our senile member Dude

I've heard of being Tone-Deaf, but....

"I can scream clearly now, the Hair has gone."

http://www.michaelbolton.com/ - http://www.michaelbolton.com/ http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf -

Here ya go Dude, this should keep you busy.

danbo wrote: http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf - http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf Here ya go Dude, this should keep you busy.

Ha! Now my ten-year-old wants to play! Most amusing piece of whimsy, old (denuded) bean!

danbo wrote: I'm sorry if my earlier post initiated this display. Monica Lewinski stands as an icon of virtue!  Even to Republicans.

 Geez! Now the formerly almost-sane Danbo is going on about Har-monica (a mouth organ, get it?) Lewinski for no apparent reason!

"Curiouser and curiouser," quoth the cat.

^ (Velvet's somewhat salacious post): "Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you! Stop staring at my....

Er, um... wait a minute here....

Have you seen my dark sunglasses, Dewdie dearest?"

ER..GUYS THIS THREAD HAS GONE FROM STRANGE TO WELL....STRANGER

NOT ONLY AM I NOT INTERESTED IN MUTANT FEMALES WITH EYES INSTEAD OF NIPPLES I (AND THE REST OF YOUR WIDE READERSHIP)HAVE COMPLETELY LOST THE THREAD OF THIS THRAED !!!

 LETS HAVE MORE STRANGENESS AND LESS ER......STRANGENESS!!!

OH GAWD NOW I AM DOING IT!!!

i know!!! I WILL PUT IN AN INFLAMMATORY POST WAIT FOR AREPLY THEN REMOVE IT AND PUT IN A POST THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WITHOUT THE DELETED POST AND........GOOD GREIF NOW I AM SOUNDING LIKE THE THE BAD GUY IN A MOVIE WHO REVEALS THE PLOT TO THE HERO JUST BEFORE HE GETS KILLED!!!

I THINK I NEED TO LIE DOWN

AND SLEEP!!!

WITH BRITNAY SPEA...........OH SHUT UP DUDE!! JUST GET OF THE THREAD!!!!

IT IS NOW 2.50 AM MAY 8 2004 ALL IS QUIET EXCEPT FOR MY CHAIR,IT SQEAKS AND PROTESTS...I WILL KILL IT IF IT DOES NOT BE QUIET BUT IT COMPLAINS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! THE MOON IS WANING BUT STILL NEARLY FULL, I HAVE MUCH STUDY TO DO.....MY NEPENTHE CALLS, THE DRUG S THAT EASE MY SORROW...BUT THE DEMONS OF DARKNESS CALL,.....CALL ME TO THEIR DANCE.

danbo wrote: Velvetclown wrote:   Yet another pin up for our senile member Dude   I've heard of being Tone-Deaf, but.... "I can scream clearly now, the Hair has gone."

This'll keep ye busy for a few minutes.............

Dammit Peter, quit changing my posts, dude'll find out.

Jim Garten wrote: danbo wrote: danbo wrote: Velvetclown wrote:  Yet another pin up for our senile member Dude I've heard of being Tone-Deaf, but.... "I can scream clearly now, the Hair has gone." This'll keep ye busy for a few minutes............. Dammit PeterYOU IDIOT, SWINE FACED, POLAR BEAR FANCYING MORON - YES!! I SAID MORON!!, quit changing my posts, dude'll find out(I happen to know, by the way, that Dude really fancies Michael Bolton, he wants to be his boyfriend). Danbo - are you saying Peter is changing people's posts? He is such a fine upstanding member of this community, I do not know how you can even bear to contemplate such base actions from one so revered - take it back I say!

Maybe it's someone else who's changing posts

Jim?  'Polar bear fancying Moron' LOL!  

Jim Garten wrote: danbo wrote: danbo wrote: Velvetclown wrote:   Yet another pin up for our senile member Dude   I've heard of being Tone-Deaf, but.... "I can scream clearly now, the Hair has gone." "It was Peter, Jim, He did it".no, it wasn't. Yes yes.. Peter did it. no, no I say, It wasn't peter, my precious, no not peeeter.. Rideout must suffer... no, not Peter, he wouldn't, he loves us, he does... Danbo - are you saying Peter is changing people's posts? He is such a fine upstanding member of this community, I do not know how you can even bear to contemplate such base actions from one so revered - take it back I say!

Oh Jim, come now old man. Who would ever accuse your beloved Peter of any wrong-doing. No ill-will here, Chap. You and your Peter get along hand in fist, wot? No, never Peter.  

 Mwa ha ha ha!

"Divide and conquer," that's the way!

Peter Rideout wrote:   Mwa ha ha ha! "My zipper's stuck, must eat less cheese"  Yes, that's the way!

Crikey Peter, no room in your shorts for little Pete? Lay off the cheese or you'll never fit into those Saturday Night Fever polyester slacks again.

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IT IS NOW 12:45 AM MAY 16 2004

I MARVEL AT THIS STRANGE WEATHER PHENOMENON , FOR MANY DAYS IT HAS PERSISTED AND THE SCIENTISTS ARE BAFLLED. 24 HOURS A DAY SEVEN DAYS A WEEK FOR SEVERAL WEEKS NOW WE HAVE BEEN PLAUGED BY THIS WEATHER ,ALL DAY IT IS NOTHING BUT WEATHER. I LOOK OUT OF MY WINDOW,THE NIGHT IS A DARK NET AND THE COLD TEMPERATURE HERALDS WEATHERS PRESENCE.

HOW DO I ESCAPE THIS .

WHETHER WE CAN WEATHER THIS WEATHER OR NOT IS UP TO US NOW,WE FEW WHO ARE ABLE STAND THIS CONSTANT DAILY BARRAGE OF WEATHER ARE STRONGER AND ARE BETTER ABLE TO HANDLE THE SHOCK OF 24/7 WEATHER

THE NIGHTS ARE COLD NOW....EXCEPT FOR THE DAYS,WHICH GET A BIT WARMER

THE WEATHER IS STRONGER NOW AND I HEAR IT HAS SPREAD ITS TERROR OVER THE WHOLE WORLD

SOON NO PART OF EARTH WILL BE FREE, THIS MAD GOD OF RAIN SUN AND CLOUDS WILL WRAP ITS TENTACLES ACROSS THE GLOBE,I MUST WARN PEOPLE OF THIS WEATHER THIS DARKNESS(EXCEPT FOR THE LIGHT BITS) I MUST............my god what is that tap at the window........no....it cant be ......its....rain!!!!!! oh no the waether has found me .......i....must.....fleee!!!!!!

dude wrote: IT IS NOW 12:45 AM MAY 16 2004 I MARVEL AT THIS STRANGE WEATHER PHENOMENON , FOR MANY DAYS IT HAS PERSISTED AND THE SCIENTISTS ARE BAFLLED. 24 HOURS A DAY SEVEN DAYS A WEEK FOR SEVERAL WEEKS NOW WE HAVE BEEN PLAUGED BY THIS WEATHER ,ALL DAY IT IS NOTHING BUT WEATHER. I LOOK OUT OF MY WINDOW,THE NIGHT IS A DARK NET AND THE COLD TEMPERATURE HERALDS WEATHERS PRESENCE. HOW DO I ESCAPE THIS . WHETHER WE CAN WEATHER THIS WEATHER OR NOT IS UP TO US NOW,WE FEW WHO ARE ABLE STAND THIS CONSTANT DAILY BARRAGE OF WEATHER ARE STRONGER AND ARE BETTER ABLE TO HANDLE THE SHOCK OF 24/7 WEATHER THE NIGHTS ARE COLD NOW....EXCEPT FOR THE DAYS,WHICH GET A BIT WARMER THE WEATHER IS STRONGER NOW AND I HEAR IT HAS SPREAD ITS TERROR OVER THE WHOLE WORLD SOON NO PART OF EARTH WILL BE FREE, THIS MAD GOD OF RAIN SUN AND CLOUDS WILL WRAP ITS TENTACLES ACROSS THE GLOBE,I MUST WARN PEOPLE OF THIS WEATHER THIS DARKNESS(EXCEPT FOR THE LIGHT BITS) I MUST............my god what is that tap at the window........no....it cant be ......its....rain!!!!!! oh no the waether has found me .......i....must.....fleee!!!!!!

You should write lyrics for Van Der Graaf Generator, man!  

Joren wrote: dude wrote: IT IS NOW 25:71 AM MAY 32 1004 I WONDER HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODPECKER PECK IF A WOODPECKER COULD PECK WOULD? Esau sawed wood. Esau Wood would saw wood! Oh the wood Wood would saw! One day, Esau Wood saw a saw saw wood as no other wood-saw Wood saw would saw wood.In fact, of all the wood saws Wood ever saw saw wood Wood never saw a wood-saw that would saw wood as the wood-saw Wood saw would saw wood. And i never saw a wood-saw that would saw wood as the wood-saw Wood saw would saw till i saw Esau Wood saw wood with the wood-saw that Wood saw saw wood. I saw that Esau Wood saw. Esau Wood saw that that I saw. I saw that that that Esau Wood saw was so. Esau Wood saw that that that that, I saw was so. I saw that that that that that Esau Wood saw was so. Esau Wood saw that that that that that thast thatI saw was so. I saw that that that that that that Esau Wood was so. I said that that that that that Esau Wood used was wrong. HOW DO I ESCAPE THIS? I made myself myself myself by asking "Is is is?" ("Is the word 'is' the word 'is'?"), then realised that by removing the ?, the question answered itself. However, I started to wonder Is is is, or or or? SO I WENT OUT TO BUY SOME FISH AND CHIPS, BUT THE SIGN OUTSIDE THE SHOP SAID "FISH, AND, CHIPS". There is no need for a comma between fish and and and and and chips. The previous sentence would be even more confusing with a comma between fish and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and chips. SOON NO PART OF EARTH WILL BE FREE, THIS MAD GOD OF WORDS WILL WRAP ITS TENTACLES ACROSS THE GLOBE, I MUST WARN PEOPLE OF THIS APOCALYPTIC ALPHABET CASTING SPELLS............my god what is that tap at the window........no....it cant be ......its....that!!!!!! oh no the words have found me .......i....must.....fleee!!!!!! You should write lyrics for Van Der Graaf Generator, man!

I'm impressed - did you think that up yourself, danbo?

...I just noticed that my quote looks nothing like the original post - but I swear I didn't edit it...

Jim Garten wrote: Joren wrote: Now is the time for revelations - I, personally am an ardent follower of all things Eurovision! The recent contest merely strengthened by resolve, and proved beyond all doubt, that Eastern bloc countries vote very very fairly, and not just for each other AT ALL - the Ukraine song was truly magnificently crafted and deserved, above all others to win. The only reason that Great Britain did not get many votes was because the song was truly awful, and not because virtually every country apart from America, Monaco and Sweden hates great Britain ATM. Spain, Turkey, Cyprus and Greece have never played the old "Give each other top marks" game either - their votes reflected the high quality of the songs from those countries. The voting is NOT political at all - all groups win on sheer musical merit, and I must say I was bowled over by the sheer quality of the Ukrainian's Xena lookalike contest... er, I mean superb vocal quality and acrobatic dancing. That's a bit harsh, Joren!

I don't know - I think Joren has raised some very interesting points (thinking about that Ukrainian singer...)

Er maybe I put one or two words into Joren's posting there...

Just for clarity's sake, of course!

I dunno............Perhaps as some Dutch Cheese...

Or Ukranian cheese?

Maybe the contents of a Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap?

A pan-galactic gargle-blaster, perhaps?

Velvetclown wrote: Gotta be Magma.................... or was is Smegma

Magma are OK - haven't heard Smegma though - are they any good?

Jim Garten wrote: Certif1ed wrote: Maybe the contents of a Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap? Thank you for that image - I've just eaten my lunch!

Cheese sandwiches, perchance?

Velvetclown, Certif1ed and Jim Garten wrote: We all smell and listen to Britney Spears! Besides, we LOVE you Joren, do you want to borrow our VISA?

Well, if you insist! Thank you guys!

That'll teach 'em!

Smegma are ok I guess, but a bit on the fishy side

Joren : Is that an AMERICAN EXPRESSion ?????????

Smegma? Is that the Canadian version of Brie?

Maybe you'd like a piece of Fromunda cheese? Prepared daily and scraped directly from its host. The San Francisco all-men, commando rump-ranger, butt dart champions. Imported to Europe daily for scones or biscuits.  

Naa It´s too expensive, wonderful yes, but I couldn´t afford it.

Velvetclown, Certif1ed and Joren, not to mention Peter Rideout and Dude (with the help of a semi literate uniformed friend who is saddled by the unfortunate name of Officer Danbo The Flatulent) wrote: We all smell, break wind continually (and blame it on Joren), listen to Britney Spears, do unspeakable things involving small mammals and Vaseline, pick our noses, and spend our leisure time sucking Canadian smoked beaver cheese! Besides, we all WORSHIP you Jim (all praise to him from whom all blessings come), do you want to borrow our Cheese knife?

I am truly touched by your kind offer, but being a dedicated vegetarian macrobiotic vegan blood drinker, my body cannot tolerate Canadian beaver dairy products

God, this is getting complicated!



-------------

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012

BEAVER CHEESE!!! AND ITS SMOKED TO!!!!...WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT!!!

OH DEAR, I WONDER IF YOU CAN GET VIRGIN BEAVER CHEESE!!!!!!!

OOPS

I ONCE HAD A FREIND WHO TREID TO SMOKE EVERYTHING HE COULD FIND EG EVERY TYPE OF GRASS, LEAF, FLOWER BARK MOLD FUNGUS ETC...

HE SAID IT WAS AN INTERESTING EXPEREINCE!!!!!!

(I CANT SPEAK FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD BUT WE DO GET CUPPA SOUP HERE IN AUST)

We get Cup-a-Soup here - can't really call it soup, as it's just sawdust with some suspicious orange and green bits in that turns to a thin grey liquid with some suspicious orange and green bits floating on top that instantly wedge themselves between your teeth if you drink the evil stuff.

You can't smoke it - the papers get all wet...

Straw? We don't need no stinkin' straw....

.

.

.

.

.

.

How about a pickle Joren, it's better'n cheese.

Yeah!!!

Chicks dig it. 

Mr Flibble wrote: Pickled Jorens are better'n cheese. I once caught a Joren, had it stuffed and mounted - but he complained bitterly so I had to let him go. Chicks go "cheep, cheep, cheep".  (but they're still too expensive for Sunday dinner, so I'll stick with beans).

...man!!! What have you been smoking, and where can I get some?

Certif1ed wrote: a tutu is a ballet skirt, you know. I'm wearing one right now!

Yes, so what? Am I missing something?

Jim Garten wrote: Joren wrote: a tutu is a ballet skirt, you know. I'm wearing one right now! http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001">    Yes, so what? Am I drinking something? I never can tell - the lack of a working liver can be such a handicap sometimes - and besides, I thought that tutus were all the rage in Holland - or was that the cactus juice again?

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Joren wrote: Certif1ed wrote: a fufu is a balzac squirt, you know. I'm wearing one right now! Yes, so am I. It hurt when I squeeze it and I lost the directions. Am I missing something?

Never glue it on Joren. Just strap it on with some duck tape. Don't squeeze, small pinches reduce the air flow.  

Santa Claus wrote: Mariah Carey wrote: Bill Bruford, agreeing with the following, whilst being jealous of his inability to take part, lest the college finds out... wrote: Captain Jack wrote: President Clinton wrote: A Banana Tree!!! wrote: Go for a walk! I can't walk, my balzac is in the way! I love applejuice! And I can't stand the smell of a walking rabbit! It gives me the grorphalgings! It wishes us to go with our ancestors' behaviour... be a cow! La cucaracha! La cucaracha!

I object! Iam NOT wearing a tutu! I'm wearing TWO!

(La cucaracha! La cucaracha!)

WOW...IT IS 2:29 AM!! SUNDAY 25 MAY 2004 ....WHERE THE f**k AM I, I THOUGHT I WAS SAVING SOME KIDS FROM A WITCH WHO WANTED TO EAT THEM, BUT THEY ESCAPED(STRANGE...BUT THE HOUSE WAS MADE FROM GINGERBREAD,...WHAT THE HELL WAS HER PROBLEM!!!?)...ONE OF THE KIDS WAS CALLED.."HANSEL"....I WILL HAVE TO GET HIS SIDE OF THE STORY!!.....

I AM ON MARS AM I NOT?

 Hello Jimberliolio!

Spring comes to the UK! April showers bring May showers, fog and mist, which bring depression, damp, mould, asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia and TB.... (Cough! Hack! Snort! Expectorate! I need a fag....)

Speaking of spring, I heard there was a (black and) bluebird on your office windowsill on Friday....

Is the pub open yet?

Jim Garten wrote: Ah, England - God's green and pleasant land (Hmmmmm, a bit too green, I think - a few more motorways needed across Exmoor) Toodle Pip!

Cheese Whiz Garten!

Like, your cows aren't angry enough as is.  If my cows were mad, I wouldn't go around provoking them further by cutting down on their pasture land.  Cattle are capable of goring, you know?  And when they start goring, pretty soon your Eton Jacket will be taken in so much that you'll no longer be able to button it up.

Think before you act, Man!