My lyrics/songs
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Topic: My lyrics/songs
Posted By: geddyx12112
Subject: My lyrics/songs
Date Posted: August 13 2009 at 21:32
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Here is where I'm goiong to put all of the lyrics and songs that I've written, because i've got an awful lot of them and I'll keep posting my new ones here, and you guys can voice your opinions on what you think about them, and maybe give a few improvements. I'm gonna start you off with one entitled "The Path". I'd love to hear what you guys think about this, so feel free to voice your opinions.
The contoured path winds in circles And all along the trail But straying from the road A young man roams alone Although the common path’s more traveled He fears not the unknown While the boy wanders through the wood He grows further from the rest Whose crowds continue to amass While the zombies walk abreast Conformity… The road less traveled Lies pristine through the past And the boy stops to view the nature While the others walk too fast And the path more ventured Lays barren from the multitude While the weak that chose to walk it Still walk without a mood Chorus And the boy becomes content While he walks the lonely lane Yet those thought to be happy Grow more and more insane Chorus x2 And the conformists of the beaten course Have felt their spirits wisp away And they begin to wonder why They did not choose to stray While the young man’s soul roams free with him Along his gorgeous track While he pursues all the dreams he had Which the others always lacked Chorus For what’s the point in lying, When you hear your spirit crying And your dreams are slowly dying, And written on their stone The words of the others Are for once alone Chorus The contoured path circles back around And those walking the trail Have fallen to a new trend As the crowds have all grown frail But at what cost do we switch paths When they all lead the same way? At what cost do we conform? When we’re left in dismay? |
Replies:
Posted By: Tin Of Hurri Curri
Date Posted: August 13 2009 at 21:54
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Excellent lyrics, geddyx12112! I like the part that goes, "While the zombies walk abreast." That's a powerful image. I also like the end where it goes, "But at what cost do we switch paths / When they all lead the same way?" Very thought-provoking. Perhaps you could make this part somewhat clearer: "Those who choose to walk the path's / Lives are growing stale." This is a great song you've written.
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Posted By: geddyx12112
Date Posted: August 13 2009 at 22:14
| Thanks a lot for the compliments tin, and I understand completely what you mean about the "Those who choose to walk the path's lives are growing stale", I've had a lot of trouble with that line since the beginning, actually. Initially it was only an 11 line stanza, but I had a really hard time figuring out how to work it into the music and it just plain didn't sound very good so I ended up with this, there's a good chance that I will change it at some point, but for now that was the best I could come up with... Thanks for the compliments though |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: August 14 2009 at 02:15
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Really good lyrics - I enjoyed reading them!
Once you put it to music, be sure to keep us updated 
-Joel  ------------- 
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Posted By: Fieldofsorrow
Date Posted: August 20 2009 at 10:51
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Yeah, interesting stuff here. I look forward to reading some more.
------------- Groovy teenage rock with mild prog tendencies: http://www.myspace.com/omniabsenceband |
Posted By: geddyx12112
Date Posted: September 02 2009 at 17:55
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This is a second one that I wrote called "Mirrors", it's more of a political thing, and it's about more or less how you can't tell everyone to love everyone because love is an emotion, and by saying that we all need to love one another it's just a mirror reflection of hatred and cruelty being forced upon people. I'd like to get your comments and constructive criticism about this one so tell me what you think.
The whole system has been abandoned Left in the power of a useless sovereign All ideals shattered by meek reprises Shards left in the hands of compromises Fools and thieves are guised as prophets And those taught as heroes are just bandits Is there a pure man left in this land? Politics carpeted by a world of dismay As we march the troops into fray after fray While the other side tries to teach us to love But it’s all communism when push comes to shove And more crooks tell us to love one another When really they’re only becoming the killer Why can’t we decide what our feelings may be? Is this the world that you once thought was free? Politics carpeted by a world of dismay As we march troops into fray after fray While the other side tries to teach us to love It’s all just communism when push comes to shove Politics carpeted by a world of dismay As we march troops into fray after fray While the other side tries to teach us to love You’re all still pigs when push comes to shove Gleaming mirrors that reflect us at night Steal us away and reverse what’s in sight Gold becomes silver as black becomes white As opposite powers bring us our might But even as opposites the essence remains The spirit of emotion will stay the same As love and hatred fight for their reign The blanket of humanity is left torn and stained |
Posted By: camilleanne
Date Posted: September 02 2009 at 18:39
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Hey nice lyrics their!!
------------- The planet is fine the people are f**ked. -George Carlin- |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: September 12 2009 at 06:41
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While i wouldn't necessarily agree with the politics of "Mirrors", you certainly can turn an intelligent rhyme! The only suggestion I would make is to throw in some other verse forms to break up the aabb rhyme scheme. |
Posted By: geddyx12112
Date Posted: September 22 2009 at 15:34
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Alright it's been a little while since I've posted anything on this but here's my third song, this one's a little bit old and I never got around to post it, so enjoy. Tell me what you think in the comments.
A Final Goodnight Farewell my dear friend Rest your eyes Night may have come But day will dawn again
Tonight it’s cold, But the memories will keep me warm
A pile old metal left in the dirt Bringing down angels, But the candles not burnt
Rusty steel bullets, That shot down my soul My heart is still beating But it’s left with a hole
Farewell my sweet friend, The marks you left Will never fade away Your spirit’s been freed And in me it stays
The night gets so cold, But the memories will keep me warm You’ve branded my soul A pile old metal left in the dirt Bringing down angels, But the candles not burnt The metal stabbed through me, The day that you died I’m drowning myself In the tears that I’ve cried
The night is pitch black But I’ll be OK, The memories are gleeful And the sun’s on its way |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: September 22 2009 at 16:46
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"... the sun’s on its way" What a great closing line. A very heartfelt lyric. |
Posted By: mystic fred
Date Posted: September 29 2009 at 11:25
^^ very good ! 
-------------  Prog Archives Tour Van 
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