Attack of the Tarkii
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Category: Topics not related to music
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Printed Date: December 11 2024 at 17:36
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Topic: Attack of the Tarkii
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Subject: Attack of the Tarkii
Date Posted: April 18 2009 at 22:03
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Tarkus was created by a scientist as a fighting vehicle which he would take over the world with. However, Tarkus escaped the lab. The Scientist was left with the DNA still, so he cloned more: special-condition Tarkii for use in any situation. The first made was Pyrotarkus, a Tarkus that was equipped with double fireball cannons on his flanks and a flamethrower on the nose. Pyrotarkus was a major success, and sweeped away creations of other, slightly less deranged scientists. The Scientist was encouraged by Pyrotarkus's success to create more. Gyrotarkus was built, and he was special in that his body was covered with blades, and he span rapidly into enemies to kill them. Aerotarkus came next, striking from the skies, and after him was Arachnotarkus, who had eight legs and venomous fangs. The Tarkus genes were carried on by.... Here's where people respond. Please carry on the story of the Tarkii with new and interesting creations. Have fun! |
Replies:
Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: April 18 2009 at 23:01
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certainly Astrotarkus would have an edge.. and Microtarkus, well don't get me started of course there were a few that just didn't catch on like Anglotarkus with its bowler and umbrella, and Pseudotarkus which turned out to be a cheap imitation |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 23 2009 at 14:56
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How come I missed this? Electrotarkus can pretty much deactivate all the Tarki that aren't resistant to high voltage electrical impulses. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: April 23 2009 at 19:20
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Kleptotarkus keeps hoarding things, and cephalotarkus is always headbutting other tarkii
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: April 24 2009 at 04:44
| Necrotarkus doesn't need to be killed by any manticore. |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: April 24 2009 at 05:03
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Neotarkus wants to be just like the original Tarkus, but doesn't quite have the build quality ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: April 24 2009 at 05:17
Prototarkus must have been its very first predecessor, but he obviously never saw the world outside the lab. ------------- 
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Neurotarkus wrote:Posted By: LordnerdofUberness
Date Posted: April 24 2009 at 20:53
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Mastotarkus fought Tarkus with his mighty ivory tusks and wooly coat of furry awesome, and lost horribly. Nobody survived that fateful day. *SOB* WHYYY BILLY |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: April 26 2009 at 15:34
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In time the Tarki spread over Europe, leaving trails of havoc behind them. One day they entered Hungary, and a Hungarian scientist was inspired to create his own variety of the species. So the Köhntarkösz came into existence; this one proved to be the first creature which could stroll across the slopes of a volcano without injury, one day after an eruption.
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Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 16 2009 at 11:52
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Erototarkus looked a bit like Winona Ryder and was very popular with most of the male tarkii ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 16 2009 at 18:34
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And Vompatti had an unhealthy obsession with it.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 03:17
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As is the way of the Virgintarkus ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 13:37
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and then there's Anatidaetarkus, strangely resembling a duck.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 13:51
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Don't forget the Durstotarkus, which is given to writing truly horrible "tunes" ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Werneflo
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 13:55
| And the poor Qatarkus, hailing from a country nobody ever thinks about. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 13:57
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And Regitarkus kept bossing everyone around
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Werneflo
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 13:59
| Oh, and Catharkus, who kept being the straw that broke every camels' back. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 14:03
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Then there was Emotarkus, but I'll only upset him if I mention him ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 14:14
| Wombatarkus: the most intelligent, the most wise, the most handsome, the most desirable of all tarki, and according to reliable sources the favourite tarkus of Winona Ryder. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 14:34
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Darkastarkus, the one who camouflages himself so easily at night ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 17 2009 at 17:15
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Vegitarkus is a passionate plant rights activist and founder of PETV
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 00:54
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Carnivortarkus is determined to hunt down Vegitarkus and eliminate it as a species ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 15:30
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Carnivotarkus would hunt Herbitarkus, and Herbitarkus wants to eat Vegitarkus, who uses the energy of Heliotarkus to feed itself unlike the lazy moochers higher up the Tarkus food chain.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 16:02
| Pornotarkus bores other tarki to death with meaningless and repetitive adult entertainment. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 16:14
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We need not get into the inner workings of rectotarkus...
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 04:25
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Fartotarkus is most unwelcome in the social circles of other species ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 08:37
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No one understands Cryptotarkus.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 08:57
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Hunkotarkus is quite popular with the lady tarkii. ------------- 
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Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 09:55
Truly, but will he have enough in store to keep Nymphotarkus satisfied? -------------
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Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 02:20
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Spearsotarkus should have stayed in The Micky Mouse Club ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 15:22
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Loltarkus is in ur interwebz stealin ur awesome prog epics
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 17:48
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La Tarkus Espanole is real hot at the ole Flamenco ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 08 2009 at 14:49
| Eggeatertarkus eats eggs and can easily defeat Eggshelltarkus. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 08 2009 at 15:33
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Homotarkus lives in San Francisco and loves other Homotarkii.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 08 2009 at 15:36
| Politicallycorrecttarkus never speaks of Homotarki or other minoritytarki in fear of offending them. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 08 2009 at 16:07
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pctarkus (as the above is commonly known) derives great enjoyment through spoiling the fun of the other tarkii ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: June 08 2009 at 16:31
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Anyone ever play Carmageddon? How about the Electropedestrianb*****ddeathraytarkus?
------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened... 
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 08 2009 at 22:02
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ADDtarkus has trouble... hey look a chicken!
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 09 2009 at 13:50
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Cojonestarkus... he really is the b*ll*cks ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: missiongonewrong
Date Posted: June 10 2009 at 17:46
| jo-brotarkus has trouble deciding on a gender |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 10 2009 at 20:22
| Feministtarkus tries to defend women by becoming a man. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: June 10 2009 at 21:44
| Has anyone done Hermaphroditushogweedtarkus yet? I could tell you what it could do but I'd have to kill you... |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 11 2009 at 10:07
SlartiTarkus is notorious for its untidy music room ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 11 2009 at 10:10
You should see Wombattarkus's bookshelves. 
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Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: June 11 2009 at 11:36
Ohmygodwhathashaseldingotarkus been doing in my music room?  ------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 11 2009 at 13:05
The DingoTarkus likes to explore most forms of music and does not care from where it sources its material (but it doesn't do torrents 'cos EthicoTarkus asked it not to)------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 11 2009 at 18:43
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Ethicotarkus got bribed by Lucifertarkus when Bush took office, sorry man.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 12 2009 at 02:40
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Egotarkus invented the silver-backed glass plate he called the mirror ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: June 12 2009 at 03:44
At least he claimed to have invented it, but this claim is disputed by Narcistarkus. -------------
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Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 12 2009 at 10:52
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Narcistarkus... Narcistarkus... is that the one who looks like a cross between David Coverdale and Jon Anderson? ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: June 12 2009 at 10:59
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No that's Poodletarkus -------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 13 2009 at 06:22
^
 Dobermantarkus makes Poodletarkus run for cover and then eats its microphone and tries its best to devour its PA system too. ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 15 2009 at 20:28
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Hypertarkus supposedly has ADHD but he disagrees, as... ooh a pigeon!
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: June 16 2009 at 23:51
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Guitarkus is one of the early extincted tarkii. He was found in a cave, dead, while trying to play an E#m9. ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 19 2009 at 11:32
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Felinetarkus is secretly plotting to kill everyone.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 08:04
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Gabrieltarkus was more popular with the fans than Philotarkus, who then wreaked his revenge by wrecking all their band stood for ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 12:32
Winonatarkus can charm all the other tarki with her wonderful smile and luminous eyes beyond which divine infinities dwell. 
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Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 15:25
Winonatarkus once had the strange habit of walking out of Tarkus-Mart without paying for the contents of her shopping trolley ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 15:36
| Oh, but has she not paid a thousand times with her glorious presence alone? |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 16:32
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Creepertarkus dwells among us......
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 16:51
| Bodyguardtarkus does his best to keep Creepertarkus away from celebritytarki. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 21 2009 at 17:34
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Hobotarkus wants spare change
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 04:26
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^
Reagantarkus is extinct and Thatchertarkus cannot hold out as a living species for much longer, one feels. ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 11:36
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Reagentarkus tries to smash McDonalds walls, but gets sleepy.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 16:37
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Sennapodtarkus rarely leaves the comfort of its toilet facilities ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 17:51
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Topographicoceanstarkus is mercilessly criticized by some tarkii, and lavishly praised by others, resulting in an identity crisis and Wakemantarkus leaving Yestarkus
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 17:56
Yeah - he's even had his very own thread on PA this week, which is bound to make Envytarkus very jealous ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 19:03
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Yeah but everyone likes Closetotheedgetarkus more.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 23 2009 at 02:12
True, but everyone who doesn't like Relayertarkus even more than Closetotheedgetarkus is wrong. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 23 2009 at 03:03
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Closetotheedgetarkus (or CttEtarkus as he is known to his inner circle) is well known to whip the ass of Relayertarkus in the jolly old musical enjoyment stakes, while Tormatotarkus hides in the bushes, hanging his head in shame ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: June 25 2009 at 23:20
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Germantarkus says; "Eine Tüte Kartoffelchips enthalten Grill viel Geschmack, wie huhn schwanz, ungewaschenen Schwein, Frosch Fleisch, und ein Hauch von Kindern die Tränen, um ein wenig zischen." ------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 25 2009 at 23:34
| In this moment Wombattarkus only knows selected words in German (words like Gemüsestrudel, Seelenjäger, ein Sauerkraut in meine Lederhose, möchtest du meine Grossmutter kaufen), so he can't quite understand what Germantarkus just said, but assumes it's something mildly offensive. |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: June 26 2009 at 04:35
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Hansentarkus defends the tarkii of the most dangerous tarkus of them all... Pedobeartarkus ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: June 26 2009 at 19:05
| Nansentarkus almost made it to the North Pole. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: June 27 2009 at 07:07
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CaptainoatesTarkus has just gone outside but he could be some time ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: June 27 2009 at 11:00
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Santatarkus was almost discovered when Nansentarkus almost made it to the North Pole. -------------
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Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 07 2009 at 01:47
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I hear Dreamtheatarkus is incredibly overrated around here... ------------- 
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 07 2009 at 02:48
| ^ I think he's overrated everywhere. Even where he's not rated at all. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 07 2009 at 03:46
Nothing like vompatarkus  -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 07 2009 at 03:47
Not at all. 
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: July 07 2009 at 19:51
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I think Dreamtheatarkus is rated just right. and apparently, people are divided in opinion over Apassionplaytarkus ------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 07 2009 at 20:15
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What about symphonyxtarkus? (AKA Cheestarkus) -------------
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Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 03:17
When Apassionplaytarkus first emerged in the UK all those years ago yea, he was verily slated by all the critics, but while the passage of time has given him a little more cedibility in certaint circles, he nonetheless is a rare variety of Tulltarkus in that he is not welcome at Casa El Dingo ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 06:42
UneXpecTarkus is scary  -------------
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Posted By: Luca Pacchiarini
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 07:31
| Catertarkus was created in 1963 by the astronomy scientists of USSR. It's half a tarkus and half caterpillar. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 08:08
| ^ This reminds me, when they were about to create the first Catertarkus one of the scientists misheard the name and created a Capertarkus (half tarkus, half http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caper - caper ) instead. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 08:50
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PorcupineTarkus is very talented and play excellently live -------------
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 10:00
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Jonandersontarkus needs to sing more songs about pizza sauce.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 10:14
| If you had paid any attention to what he's singing you would know that most of the 70's stuff is about pizza sauce. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 12:58
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Beware the Vompattitarkus. Don't ask me why, but perhaps he can fill us in on it...
------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 13:00
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I guess Relayertarkus WAS about the ancient Japanese Pizza Sauce bible...
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 13:22
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Here's a familiar passage to prove my point: A seasoned witch could call you from the depths of your disgrace, And rearrange your pizza to the solid mental grace, And achieve it all with olives that came quickly from afar, Then taste the sauce of man recorded losing all against the hour. |
Posted By: el dingo
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 16:57
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^
Who put the salt and pepper on the witch? Oh I know it must have been Waitertarkus, the one with the white shirt, black jacket, acne and attitude. ------------- It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 18:45
JonAndersonTarkus is F**KING PERFECT! -------------
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 20:53
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He also needs to sing more about abandoned salt mines.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 20:54
 -------------
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 21:05
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And then there's Wakemantarkus, who is particularly fond of capes and curry.
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 21:36
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^^^
I hear he's also incredibly talented at playing the keyboards -------------
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Posted By: Neurotarkus
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 21:39
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What about Emersontarkus, who can't live for more than four days without covering a classical composition?
------------- "I cannot grasp the concept of love, for I am a pickle!" -Neurotarkus I create musics. Good Ones. Contact me if you desire it. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 08 2009 at 21:57
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EmersonTarkus reminds me of PinkFloydTarkus... Everyone thinks they're better than they are. -------------
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