Worst prog band names
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Topic: Worst prog band names
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Subject: Worst prog band names
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:06
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Because someone had a "best prog band names" thread. I nominate any band name that's more than 5 words long, because that would be appropriate for a song or album title but as a band name it's just really clumsy and gives off a total "trying too hard to be poetic" feel. Between the Buried and Me, for example.
------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Replies:
Posted By: Rocktopus
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:23
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Here's some magnetic refrigerator poetry-sounding bandnames: Spheric Universe Experience Super String Theory Liquid Tension Experiment Luminous Flesh Giants Brain Heart Infusion (all taken from the progmetal section. Obviously): ------------- Over land and under ashes In the sunlight, see - it flashes Find a fly and eat his eye But don't believe in me Don't believe in me Don't believe in me |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:29
That must be the single nerdiest band in the history of music, and when compared to the rest of prog metal that's quite an achievement!  ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Rocktopus wrote:Posted By: popeyethecat
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:42
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I think "Behold... the Arctopus" is pretty damn stupid. It would even be bad without the ellipsis.
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Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:49
^ I agree on your example. Also: Pain of Salvation, Fates Warning, Green Carnation, Unexpect, Disilussion, Sieges Even, Conception, Redemption, etc. All prog-metal!  |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:51
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"Scheiss die Wand an" comes to my mind. They were more than just a prog band though; their "concerts" were more like spontaneous theatre acts, with action painting and all kinds of unpredictable things happening on stage. They feature Freddy Sedtz and Gerald Luciano Hartwig, who both played with Embryo and the Roman Bunka band. Hartwig also played with Guru Guru and a side project of Roland Schaeffer (of Guru Guru and Brainstorm) which was named Roland und die Dadadogs. Oh, and the name is a German expression which literally means "sh*t against the Wall". It is, however, used the same way as the English "m*****f*****" is sometimes used, to state that something is extremely good. I had to look up the meaning of the expression though; it is not common in the area of Germany where I live. Since Embryo and Guru Guru are of Bavarian origin I suppose it is a Bavarian expression. And here a short video of them, from which you can get a slight impression of their stage activities. http://www.yidio.com/scheiss-die-wand/id/1987418407 - http://www.yidio.com/scheiss-die-wand/id/1987418407 -------------  BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: The Pessimist
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:55
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King Crimson. Great band, but still... a really lame name don't you think? Others would be Mostly Autumn, Porcupine Tree, Psychotic Waltz, Diabolical Masquerade (probably the lamest of them all), Spock's Beard, The Flower Kings... Not taking anything away from the music they make of course, but what were they thinking with those names? ------------- "Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value." Arnold Schoenberg |
Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:56
| Yeah, Spock Beard qualifies too. I like King Crimson a lot, though. It reminds me of the ancient beliefs in the magical propertis of colour pigments. There's something demonic about it... |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:57
King Crimson is not a lame name at all. It is a metaphor for the devil. ------------- BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 07:59
I disagree on some of those like Pain of Salvation, Fate's Warning (which I think is a pretty cool band name), Redemption.... not so sure on Unexpect or Green Carnation. Especially Green Carnation, because it sounds like a bad pun on "re-incarnation". ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 08:00
So they picked a band name that makes no sense to people who aren't Bavarian? Wow, talk about creator provincialism.... ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 08:05
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Porcupine Tree is a pretty stupid name, when you think about it. Every time I mention that band to someone unaware of them, they chuckle and go, "What?" ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: The Quiet One
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 08:18
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^definitely.... Another bad one is Epignosis. Man, how can someone come up with that?   Now seriously, I think Camel, isn't a very inventive name. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 08:27
| Spock's Beard. |
Posted By: TheCaptain
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 08:43
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Yes (maybe something that doesn't get said more than daily by English speaking people) Spock's Beard (a tad too much on the nerd-scale) The Flower Kings (I consider myself to be a die-hard fan but when I mention this band to people for the first time I always feel a bit uncomfortable) Godspeed You! Black Emperor (You have an exclamation mark in your name. I can't respect you) 5uu's (I don't know where to begin with this) 5ive (a "5" looks nothing like an "f") ------------- Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal. |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:02
As do I. ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: The Hemulen
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:05
| I never liked Art Bears as a name, for some reason. Stormy Six is a bit naff, too. |
Posted By: ClemofNazareth
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:12
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http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=3081 - Up-C Down-C Left-C Right-C ABC + Start is probably the stupidest band name I've ever heard (except for Grandpa's Become a Fungus, which was definitely not a prog band).
------------- "Peace is the only battle worth waging." Albert Camus |
Posted By: Negoba
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:26
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We actually played a gig calling ourselves Leprechaun Sauce (little green guys in a blender? I don't know coming up with band names is something you do over beers and it seems like a good idea at the time)
A lot of the death bands just border on the stupid.
SMPTe ranks among the nerdiest of all album titles in the history of the universe. ------------- You are quite a fine person, and I am very fond of you. But you are only quite a little fellow, in a wide world, after all. |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:28
| Frank Zappa |
Posted By: Equality 7-2521
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:41
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Yes Caravan Starcastle Egg ELP Focus Symphony X Kamelot Oh god so many ------------- "One had to be a Newton to notice that the moon is falling, when everyone sees that it doesn't fall. " |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 09:43
Isn't that how the Smashing Pumpkins came up with their name? I remember them saying in an interview that they tried to come up with the stupidest band name they could.
There is no doubt that http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=119813 - The Cadaveric Manifesto http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=117995 - takes the cake in that category. First, the word is "cadaverous" not "cadaveric", and this is particularly egregious coming from a band who have English as their first language. Second, what use would a cadaver have for a manifesto? ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: The Pessimist
Date Posted: February 03 2009 at 10:16
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Having said all this, Van Der Graaf Generator doesn't even sound like a band name. I tell people that they are my favourite "old-school" band and they're like... "That's their name?"
------------- "Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value." Arnold Schoenberg |
Posted By: ten years after
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 03:57
I can see what you mean with Yes, Caravan and Egg. Camel is a pretty mundane name as well. ELP is OK, i think. A simple list of the band members is never going to make the top ten of best band names but i don't think it can go in the worst names (unless there were 6 or 7 members of the band or they had really silly names).
IMO Focus is a neat name - simple but powerful. However, whoever came up with the album name Mother Focus should be shot
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Posted By: easytargets
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 04:21
I have the same thoughts about them.When I recently saw them live
most people were asking me Van der what? Someone said to me - Are they Dutch?
And when I came to the point of explaining the meaning of the bandīs name it only
became even worse.
------------- The water rushes over all cities crash in the mighty wave; the final man is very small, plunging in for his final bathe |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 12:55
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Genesis. Exodus. Any other bands named after great literary works. If you have the balls to pick a name like that, you must have the talent to create music of comparable value. Doesn't work any other way. |
Posted By: ClemofNazareth
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 14:22
Along the same lines, http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=2416 - The Greatest Show on Earth was a pretty presumptuous band name. ------------- "Peace is the only battle worth waging." Albert Camus |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 15:34
| Heh, that one's more silly/ironic than anything. Not the best name out there, but not the worst, IMO. |
Posted By: ClemofNazareth
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 15:56
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On the other hand, http://rateyourmusic.com/artist/the_happiest_band_that_ever_played - The Happiest Band That Ever Played wasn't as pompous as The Greatest Show on Earth, but it also was kind of silly. http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=1020 - 3 was a pretty crappy prog band name as well; neither Emerson nor Palmer seemed to be very good at naming bands. ------------- "Peace is the only battle worth waging." Albert Camus |
Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 16:27
| I still have a difficulty with the name of the Muffins. Not enough pompous for me. |
Posted By: manofmystery
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 17:30
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One and two word names lead to the most iconic bands so don't go writing off bands name because its simple. Yes, Egg, Caravan, Camel, Focus, Gong, Gryphon, Magma, The Nice, Rush, and even The Band (not prog but fitting), to name a few, are all fine examples of simple yet iconic band names.
Here are some lame ones (including many one/two worders that just don't pack any punch):
- Dream Theater
- Ambrosia
- Neu! (avoid punctuation in names)
- Audience
- Babe Ruth (now I like the bambino as much as anyone but I don't get this as a band name)
- Bozzio, Levin, Stevens (ELP already did the 3 name thing)
- Dixie Dregs (just unappealing sounding)
- The Flower Kings
- Frumpy
- Glass Hammer
- Gravy Train (this is a bit unfair as had the awful Gravy Train!!!! had not come along later this would be a fine name)
- Horslips
- Jody Grind
- Kansas
- Love
- S.B.B. (avoid punctuation in names)
- Slapp Happy
- Starcastle
- Wallenstein (better suited for a deli, not to sound insensitive
)hmmmm, seems the great majority of the bands I listen to have short names.
-------------  Time always wins. |
Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 17:40
Well, I think a lot of jazz bands already did the 'three-name thing' BEFORE ELP. |
Posted By: popeyethecat
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 19:01
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Ugh, I agree with Dixie Dregs, Frumpy, Horslips and Slapp Happy. They all just sound horrible!
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Posted By: Anirml
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 20:08
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Boxer
Jo Jo Gunne
Marshall Tucker Band
Made In Sweden
Organisation
Whistler
Bang
Dream Theater
Starcastle and Bang is very bad names imo.
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Posted By: manofmystery
Date Posted: February 07 2009 at 22:42
Jazz, pfffft, that hardly matters   ------------- Time always wins. |
Posted By: Jozef
Date Posted: February 09 2009 at 14:47
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The only ones that come to mind are Mother Gong, Supersister and Black Bonzo. ------------- 
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Posted By: POSW
Date Posted: February 09 2009 at 18:20
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IMO, post-rock band names win this thread. Easily. Scanning the list of bands on the genre page brings up all of these. Auto!Auotmatic!! Everything Is Made In China Flying Saucer Attack God Is An Astronaut Godspeed You! Black Emperor If These Trees Could Talk Meanwhile Back In Communist Russia Set Fire To Flames Souls Vibrating In The Universe Sweep The Leg Johnny This One Will Destroy You World's End Girlfriend You.May.Die.In.The.Desert. and Last But... I mean last but not least, the aforementioned Up-C Down-C Left-C Right-C ABC + Start ------------- I'm http://www.metal-archives.com/userprofile.php?user=PriestofSadWings - PriestofSadWings at Metal Archives. "Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?" - George Carlin |
Posted By: manofmystery
Date Posted: February 09 2009 at 22:24
these are actual band names? good god  ------------- Time always wins. |
Posted By: manofmystery
Date Posted: February 09 2009 at 22:57
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and to add to my earlier list:
3
Supertramp (didn't take this band seriously for the longest time because of their name)
Alan Gowen, Phil Miller, Richard Sinclair, Trevor Tomkins (more of a list)
and maybe this is the place to ask this:
is it Kebnekajse or Kebnekaise? Last FM (which is not very reliable admittedly) wants the former but here we list the ladder ------------- Time always wins. |
Posted By: tszirmay
Date Posted: February 09 2009 at 23:01
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Nice Beaver from Holland. err..... actually its pretty clever way of getting attention...... ------------- I never post anything anywhere without doing more than basic research, often in depth. |
Posted By: mithrandir
Date Posted: February 10 2009 at 00:39
| I always thought Burning Red Ivanhoe was a stupid name, |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: February 10 2009 at 02:26
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So many bad one's, how to choose? And so many of them are bands that I truly love. Bands I love: Gentle Giant Behold...The Arctopus Coprofago Bondage Fruit Pain of Salvation Bands I don't love so much: Atomic Rooster Happy the Man Khan Marillion Acid Mother's Temple ------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow">  https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: Abrawang
Date Posted: February 12 2009 at 23:34
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An 80s band in my area came up with the supremely stupid name of TBA. Funny how they never developed a following. ------------- Casting doubt on all I have to say... |
Posted By: Drew
Date Posted: February 12 2009 at 23:37
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There are far more absurd names that good ones. Too many to list (the bad ones)
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Posted By: mono
Date Posted: February 13 2009 at 10:48
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The first name that comes to mind is The Flower Kings... korky then, there's 1000 metal bands with horrible names... - Shadow Gallery, - Beyond Twilight, - Seventh Wonder, - Threshold, - Liquid Tension Experiment (worse: liquid trio experiment), - Andromeda, - The Beatles (not metal but lame!)... I like short and simple names (Yes, Death, Rush...) and long and/or complicated ones ā la post-rock (GYBE!, The Pirate Ship Quintet, This Will Destroy You... ------------- https://soundcloud.com/why-music Prog trio, from ambiant to violence https://soundcloud.com/m0n0-film Film music and production projects https://soundcloud.com/fadisaliba (almost) everything else |
Posted By: keiser willhelm
Date Posted: February 13 2009 at 11:31
There are some pretty terrible ones on your list, but also some very good ones - This Will destroy You and GY!BE are a few i actually like. on to the bad . . . Van der graff generator Yes Camel Egg Porcupine Tree Mr. Bungle (i only say this because i feel uncomfortable every time i bring them up, i like the name for the band) Kansas (same goes for boston) The Entire Prog Metal Section barring a few odd balls. They might be able to play their instruments but they sure as hell shouldnt write lyrics or be allowed to give themsleves a name. (Kamelot?) And basically any band that just tries too hard. ie bands that use any of the following words (combinations just make it exponentially worse): death, die, dying, blood, Bloody, decapitation , Napalm, the Letter "X", fetus or references to violent acts or overly gross imagery. examples ... Cattle decapitation, Rancid Meatflaps, Anal c**t, Napalm death, Symphony X, dimmension X, eternity X, Alchemy X, XSavior, and Dying Fetus ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/KeiserWillhelm" rel="nofollow - What im listening to |
Posted By: Hankypanky
Date Posted: February 13 2009 at 21:42
| Morte Macabre is pretty lame ... and wtf is a Procol Harum. |
Posted By: manofmystery
Date Posted: February 13 2009 at 23:32
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PROCOL: language A parallel object language with protocols, constraints and distributed delegation by J. Van Den Bos of Erasmus University, Rotterdam. Harum:
elevated, (1 Chr. 4:8), a descendant of Judah. makes perfect sense ------------- Time always wins. |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: February 16 2009 at 11:05
What are you talking about? That's an awesome band name. ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |