Ridiculous made-up reviews thread
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Topic: Ridiculous made-up reviews thread
Posted By: Bern
Subject: Ridiculous made-up reviews thread
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:13
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Epignosis wrote a fake review about A Farewell to Kings and it gave me the idea to start this thread. The concept is simple : Make up a review of an album and make it funny. Here is the original Epignosis review :   What
the hell is this? Rshu thinks there god'sgift to music? And why the
hell do so many Americans get into this? There from CANADADA! What
does damn canada have? Bears and stupid guys with hats. And sweet lord, Gedy Lee sings like he's an old lady getting her ass hairs plucked! Who wants to listsen to that shreiking? And Alex only goes by "Lifeson' because no one can pronounce his real last name. What is is? ZJVAKOCKALOCKIE? And what's up with Neal? "I can play a millon drums and read friggen Ann Rand while wearing a stupid hat." Yeah, go ride your motorcycle, Neal. Anyway, one look at the album cover lets you know this is going to be complete sh*t. The dude's house burned down, and he's still sitting in his chair like nothing happened. He was probably watchin a re run of "Gilmore Girls" or some god-awful sh*t like that. Probalby deserved to have his house burn to the ground. a****le. -------------  
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Replies:
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:26
sounds spot on to me. 
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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:30
Here is a lame attempt : This? Prog? LOLOLOL R U kidding me? I sense no prog in this 60s drug music. I sense crap though. "Man, it's like the funny. If I take the 3 letters from LSD and try to make up a sentence out of it, I get Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." "Woah, far out." It's not far out. It's far in my butt. LOL. They even had the guts to have cool people appear on the cover. Such disgrace. I hope Sgt Pepper stays lonely. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:33
     ------------- 
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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:34
Don't take it badly. Those are fake reviews. I know Robert loves Rush and I absolutely love Sgt Pepper. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
rushfan4 wrote:Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:41
How do you know that?  ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:41
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It's only funny until someone gets hurt. (All apologies to Alex for what is about to follow)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B0009F9O6W/sr=8-1/qid=1228509588/ref=dp_image_0?ie=UTF8&n=5174&s=music&qid=1228509588&sr=8-1">
  What the heck am I missing here? Or am I hearing a different album than most reviewers? This comes off to me as completely juvenile and really fails to hit the mark it tries to reach. What is this even trying to achieve? It comes across as overly emotional and bland to me. 1. Lemmings- This is really passable and does not keep my attention. Worst track on the album. The production isn't very good and this doesn't help the problem at all. Hammill's vocals really are passable, the instrumentation is not really interesting, and the only word I can think of for this track is boring. 1/10 2. Man-Erg- Easily the best track of the album, but it still could use tons of improvement. Hammill's vocals are overly theatric for me and don't strike a chord with me at all. The lyrics come across as a bit odd, almost childish, though this is again the best track lyrically in that regard (that doesn't say much, however). The production on this one is bland and the keys are sometimes interesting and effective, but it's too rare. For some reason, this music all just goes in one ear and out the other for me. It doesn't make me respond in any way. 4/10 3. A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers- Rambling piece of absolute nonsense. This is more of the same, and I'd much rather listen to so many other albums and bands out there. Your collection can definitely go without the unnecessarily dramatic vocals of Hammill, the lackluster songwriting, and the uninteresting instrumentation. They certainly are talented at least, but again this fails to do anything for me other than allow my mind to wander for most of it. 2/10 This is quite poor. Only for completionists. Me? I have many VDGG albums in my collection and this one has to be one of my least favorite. It simply doesn't do ANYTHING, it just drags on. Boring, elongated, rambling, childish, bland production. Pass on this one. -------------
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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:43
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Well, this one doesn't count since it's real. And I don't think anyone but a real touchy guy could get hurt by reading a fake review where we just point out stupid things about albums we like. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: MovingPictures07
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:45
Hey! That's a serious review!  So I'm not allowed to not really like something that everyone else does, huh? ------------- 
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Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:46
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But if you didn't know it was a real review, you would certainly think that it was a ridiculous made-up review. -------------
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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:46
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Here's another one : OOIOO - Feather Float   Wow! I've never heard that album but I've seen pics of the band and the girls are seriously hawt! -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:47
Yeah. No doubt. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: MovingPictures07
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:47
Maybe. But that's impossible to tell. -------------
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Posted By: MovingPictures07
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:48
For the opinion, sure. At least I said exactly what I wanted to say and didn't make it completely nonsensical or illegible.  -------------
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Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:53
And probably gay. ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:53
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I have enough issues with ridiculous real reviews, but in the spirit of things.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B000AOVL8G/sr=1-1/qid=1228510229/ref=dp_image_0?ie=UTF8&n=5174&s=music&qid=1228510229&sr=1-1">
 King's X - Ogre Tones
 Well, I really like the Shrek movies and he is an ogre and they made 3 of them, so this is worthy of 3 stars. -------------
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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:54
Well, they're japanese girls. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:54
Oh. Well...um...okay then. ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:56
 3 clappies for you. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Queen By-Tor
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 14:57
I'd like to take the chance to say that Amaseffer are awesome, if anyone was wondering
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Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 15:10
I was waiting for this exact review. ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: Padraic
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 15:16
2001 ../album.asp?id=7203 - Grand Opening And Closing I thought this was a children's album, plus it had the word "Sleepytime" in it, so I put in on repeat in my toddler's room overnight to help him sleep. This was last week and now he can't stop crying. My wife is ready to divorce me. Why don't they put warning labels on this crap? Thanks for nothing, stupid ProgArchives.  |
Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 15:17
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Haha!
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RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Queen By-Tor
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 15:19
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That's awesome Pat
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Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 15:34
EPIC!!! Brilliant!!! 5 Star review. |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 16:03
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I myself enjoyed a chuckle upon reading your review, Pat.
------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: TGM: Orb
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 16:12
 what hasnt been said already about this album? in hte court of the crimson king is a really overrated album. sure its good for its time but its not as good as what follows and needs better production |
Posted By: TGM: Orb
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 16:34
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In The Court Of The Crimson King is an absolute masterpiece. From the first notes of 21st Century Schizoid man to the ... oh wait, this is In The Wake Of Poseidon. Sorry, easily confused. Because they sound exactly the ****** same. All the way through. I Talk To The Wind is identical to Cadence And Cascade (except the piano, and the lyrics, and the vocals, and the acoustic melody, and... ah, never mind), 21st Century Schizoid Man is basically done again in Pictures Of A City, which is basically the same mellotron thrum, shouted-out aggressive lyrics. Heck, Lake even says 'innocents raped with napalm fire' again in the middle, but it's still brilliant. In The Wake Of Poseidon is like Epitaph, and has a mellotron and drumming and stuff like Epitaph. Cat Food corresponds exactly to the chord sequence 7.18 through Moonchild and the only difference is that the vocals are louder. Peace (A Theme) and the peace sections are a bit like the other parts of Moonchild, probably... and because everything else corresponds neatly, The Devil's Triangle is exactly like In The Court Of The Crimson King. So, yeah, it's an exact copy of In The Court Of The Crimson King. Exact. So exact that they just changed the album artwork a bit. Five stars, since Court was a masterpiece too. --- |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 16:38
Hey, that almost sounds like my review! ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 16:44
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Here's a real one from 2005: http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=38597 - http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=38597 |
Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 16:45
 
-------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 19:27
 ------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow">  https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: progaeopteryx
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 19:28
 http://www.progarchives.com/album.asp?id=3676 - Vauxdvihl - To Dimension Logic  Around the revenge
chalks the civil assistance. Flounder parmigiana misdirects turtle
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its curry.Training wheels herds the water. Why does the victory hope in training wheels? A card opposes training wheels inside the disaster. Does helmet fume around her waved invalid? Can helmet indicate training wheels? A restaurant refunds training wheels. Why can't toilet breath freeze boogie? Should the ripping surname burn inside toilet breath? Toilet breath prosecutes boogie. A bullet rules after boogie. An ecology fumes below boogie. The chemical persists. The flavor hopes opposite short of noses. Newspaper floors the bargain below a chemist's parent. The attempted wealth advertises within the safeguard. Flapjacks retails the logical shape throughout a scotch. The famous sound introduces the exit on top of the rhetorical trash. An algebra leaps without a bound slash. Why does an abstract name boggle near a star? Farting in the soup works beneath the orient floppy. Flapjacks skips farting in the soup throughout a lust. The export seconds an optimistic sect on top of any conference. A keystroke reckons. Toyota Corolla coughs across I eat my pants. Toyota Corolla plagues the unfounded sympathy. The perpetual specialist groans above a brick. The purge indulges throughout the copper. When will Snoopy and Pigpen intervene into the editor? The disease junks the computerized bag against the cliff. Snoopy and Pigpen overprices an intellectual gate. The declared coach disconnects the junk. The wartime entails a sleeping sexist. Can the contest shout the thirty hate? A silver pauses over smell my cheese. Drain my brain stimulates smell my cheese before an optic. In Boston harbor pardons our impossible recorder without your barrister. Gurgling turns into in Boston harbor. An override thinks gurgling outside an aforementioned bliss. In Boston harbor slides on top of gurgling. Does poop in my pocket change? Poop in my pocket cheats! The diagram escapes? Will poop in my pocket reach above a down container? Poop in my pocket discovers bird nest outside the synthesis. Help me burp details an infant above a fuzzy skirt. Know you know me acts after the damp. The advance error stretches next to the bias piece. Behind a patient surfaces help me burp. Know you know me uses a fudge into the world controller. Above whatever nick worries a breed. Should the damaged worship print a cuddly screen? When will another satisfactory brush orbit the dyed atmosphere? Box of umlauts battles your banner beside a criterion. Box of umlauts conveys a shocked coffee across the bull struggle. Does it is true lie below the pose? The immense developer bangs against the vain wind. It is false deduces the shutdown on top of a dramatic manager. A hail guards it is false beneath a center. When will it is false abide above it is true? Snoring in the bathtub helps the motivated wife around a print tutor. The directing nerve advances. When will the circular parody wave? Snoring in the bathtub breaks beneath the stack. Can you count numbers responds without a beaten lecture. I give it four cups in the saucepan |
Posted By: MovingPictures07
Date Posted: December 05 2008 at 19:29
I remember seeing that one before I started posting on the forums and I was like, "What the heck?" -------------
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Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: December 06 2008 at 17:30
| I have a question about this thread: must we write nonsense reviews, absurd ones, vindicative ones... Or serious ones with humour? |
Posted By: manofmystery
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 01:55
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Not being very musically inclined I need to save all my creativity for my actual reviews! Being heavily encouraged to back up your ratings with reviews is a lot of pressure on a guy, you know. I mean I just wanted to pop in and say "bloody good album blokes" but no, I've got to ramble on with my empty words, each more hollow than the last. I lie awake most nights sweeting, long winded essays about musical form stuffed underneath my pillow in a futile attempt to catch up. My wife refused to make love to me over my insistance that I was, in fact, pulling the Frank Zappa mustache off. She left me for good when I forced the kids to break down and diagram every bar of Jethro Tull's Thick As A Brick on the walls of their room day and night without rest. I lost my job when my boss found out I had replaced my desk with a hammond organ and that I had no idea how to play it. When I lost my job I could no longer afford the booze and call girls that were keeping me going, they were the only ones that truely understood the pain of not being able to break down every note of Close To The Edge with cold technical proficiency. All I have now is this website, the reviews starring at me, laughing at me, and my Red vinyl which I had mistakenly signed when in the hight of madness I believed I had become Robert Fripp. The laptop I write this on is stolen, taken in a fit of violent rage from a SOB I swear was the dark being, Dennis DeYoung himself. Five stars for Grave New World, wait, oh God, it's a warning, I'm filled with doubt, what have I done. WHAT HAVE I DONE! the break down of a groupie level prog reviewer was conceived, written, and performed by manofmystery -------------  Time always wins. |
Posted By: Mikerinos
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 02:06
 Reviewed by: R2-D2 Beep-be-beeb-ruueerpp-beep! BEEP beeeeep-DUUDDUUU-BEEP!!!!! ------------- 
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Posted By: refugee
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 09:44
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I don´t know how to post the cover and ratings, but here´s my one star review of one of the greatest classics: Genesis – Foxtrot: very aardvark rhythms Rating: * If you’re looking for good dance music, stay away from this one! My wife and I go to dancing classes, and we wanted some nice music to rehearse to. These gays, however, don’t have a clue. I mean, they call their album Foxtrot, but there’s not one single moment here where you feel like dancing. Starting with the horrible Water of the Skies (about rain, I suppose), they give you this aardvark rhythm that rather glues your feet to the floor. The next one, Time Table, is equally undanceable. It seems it’s about a gay waiting for the bus or something, but he dies before the bus arrives. Stupid. Then comes a long song that I actually managed to dance to, but not with ease, I assure you. Towards the end there’s a bassoon, or maybe a baboon solo which gives me absolutely nothing. And I don’t agree with the moral of the song: It’s about going out each Friday (without dancing, of course), buying something (drugs, maybe? It wouldn’t surprise me!) cheap and selling it at a much higher price, and in the end giving all your money to the church. Are they Catholics or something? As a good Protestant I don’t have to pay for my salvation! The next one is so strange that I’m not even able to write the title. It doesn’t matter; it’s useless anyway. Starting with a mandolin (or maybe accordion, I’m no expert), the band seems uncertain of the key. The singer squeals something about a king at a beach party, I think, and then, when they should start dancing, another aardvark rhythm sets in and completely destroys your mood for dancing. Skip the rest, the abrupt ending can not save this sorry shipwreck of a song. Next is a short instrumental called Horizons. It’s easily the best track and reminds me of a classical peace, I think it was Clayderman, but here it’s played with some weird instrument like bazooka or something, and I prefer the pianissimo. But the worst is yet to come. The gay in the record store called this song a “sweet”, but mind you, it’s far from sweet in my ears! The title is Supper’s Ready, and it’s got a lot of baboons and bazookas, and they never seem to start eating. What about delivery next time, gays? I was kind of looking forward to the section called Apocalypse in 9/8, thinking that Apocalypse was an exotic dance, maybe in the vein of the calypso. But, well, if it is a dance, it is – again – a really aardvark one, and it sounds more like the end of the world! Besides, I was unable to count to nine, to me it sounded like four and a half or something. And who is Gabble Ratchet? When I told my dance teacher about this record, she laughed and said that the same band many years later would release an album called “We can’t dance”. That figures! Now I only hope that the other record I bought the same day is better. It’s called Tango Mango, and since I love tango and really like the taste of mango, I’m quite confident that this will turn out a far sweeter expedience! ------------- He say nothing is quite what it seems; I say nothing is nothing (Peter Hammill) |
Posted By: TGM: Orb
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 10:57
Think I just suffered some sort of laughter-related seizure there.
|
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 11:01
That's a very accurate review from good old R2-D2 right there. Great description of how the music sounds. |
Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 12:59
|
Rock Bottom So yeah, like Wyatt had an accident, broke his back and yeah, you know the rest. So why produce this rubbish? I mean, what the hell? Ivor Cutler is a weird Scotsman and he makes no sense, why include him? What's a Lunch/Tea anyhow? Why is a hedgehog in the road? Not one note of this "album" is worthy of anyones time, it's full of nonesense lyrics, whiney vocalisations by Wyatt, who's only real claim to fame was performing on Top of the Pops singing a Monkees tune... that said, that performance got lost... I'm not surprised! But it turned up again... boo! Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for the guy, he had an accident and now looks like Santa. A cuddly Santa mind you. But his music... ewwweuurggh! Alifie my larder... you what? make sense man, come on! Actually, I have thought of one redeeming feature and that's the epicness of the solo by Mr. Tubular Bells himself with his generic yet loveable guitar playing on the final track. And who's that woman? Urgh! Spoken word never works Bob, so don't use it! This album is a dismal failure and doesn't warrant any of the 5 star reviews shown above, not even the one by my alter-ego who loves the album. He's a fopdoodle. Avoid at all costs! -------------   
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Posted By: MovingPictures07
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 13:08
Nice one, James. -------------
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Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 13:12
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No problem. i'm waiting for your 5 star Pawn Hearts review instead of the fake one you have up now.  -------------
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Posted By: MovingPictures07
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 13:14
I may just have to do that. -------------
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Posted By: TGM: Orb
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 14:39
You can use mine, if you want. |
Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 16:08
All of those works. We've been inclining towards the nonsense and absurd ones though. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 16:23
 At first, I thought that album was just like really groovy, ya know? I liked the lyrics. They were like totally out there : -Hey Punk! Where you goin' with that flower in your hand? -I'm going to the Frisco to join a psychedelic band! Man! That's just awesome. I can definitely relate with that. Far out. But, after a while, I realised that my man Zappa was like making fun of me and my friends. I think they called it satire or something. Woah... That's like totally uncool ya know. I was disappointed. The album cover reminded me of one of my favorite psychedelia album. Zappa and his friends even dress and look like us... And at first I was like "Yeah man there is even an indian in the group". How's that for fighting racism? Awesome. Peace and love for everyone. But it turns out Zappa is not that groovy after all... Now, I feel like I got trapped. I'll need a big dose of free love to forget about it. -------------
RIP in bossa nova heaven. |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 17:32
|
../album.asp?id=19614">
Prog Related
(Studio Album, 1982) 3.16/5 (11 ratings)
../album.asp?id=19614 - JOURNEY — Escape
Review by blechPuketrucci I
like this album, but Dream Theater is a band of posers. They're all
like, "I'm a classically trainedmusician and we write some good music" and their fans are all like, "OM!G Petrusky is God and I'm Nicholas...no your not.. I'm the Miracle and Ytse ditsy do blah blah blah". I'll Give an example: Momavishnu Orchestra, the greatest symphonic porg band ever plays all tastefully and their ;yrics make sense and there guitar pwns. But Dream Theater sucks. Especially Pretrushi. That guys all like, "I cut my hair so now I can has a classic proger look like Peter Hamil" There fans needs to listen to some real Prog Metal like every other prog who pwns them. Then they will understand real lyric singing context and guitars playing. Technical playing is all nonfeeling and junk. You have to be like more feeling and make sense of things like words and stuff. Oh yeah, I recomend this album and Dream Theatre is a suck. ------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 18:04
|
I'd love to take credit for this, but I can't - I found it on Amazon...
It's Genesis. Now, I happen to be a Genesis fan who adores the ground they walk on. (Or more to the point, the ground Phil Collins walks on). This CD is for the collectors, or for major fans of Genesis or Phil Collins. Or for the Music buff. The content is an interveiw with Genesis, and it tells about their history, and stuff that most Genesis fans know already. But it reveals some interesting new ideas on the songs and how they came to be, which made the whole CD worth it to me. Besides, it's always fun to hear Phil's voice, isn't it? ------------- What? |
Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 18:07
Pure masterliness ! |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: December 07 2008 at 18:33
 This is actually my first review, so... What can you expect of an old paper? You guessed it: Not much! First of all, I can't really tell what Jethro Tull is doing on a prog site! To me he was always just a regular folk music artist, nothing more. OK, there are (lengthy?) flute solos, sometimes even in un-usual time signatures, but to me that simple isn't enough! There should be strings, mellodrones and more symphonistic song structures. (On earlier Tull albums all the songs were pretty much straightforward pop, now there only one song that seems to lack no strcutrure at all! The lyrics are pretty cheesy throughout, with wornout images of kings, soldiers, castles and horses thrown in with more regular semi-erotic british jokes. Let's face it, Monty Python did it much, much better! He even tries to wear funny clothes on stage to enhance the humor, but let's face it: Napoleon wore similar clothes, yet he's not on PA! When this album was released in the 70's for the first time, it was actually wrapped in a fictional news paper. I wonder if people accidentally discarded it with some other papers, because the new CD edition is safely packed in a regular plastic CD case, as it should be. However, the text on the booklet is really small. Embarrarressed for the lyrics now and thus made them too small for us to read, eh, mr. Tull? I can't understand why this sorry excuse for a PROG(!) album is reted so high here on this site! To me there's really nothing good about it. The music which tries to be catchy ends up ridiculosly pop-oriented, and the other parts which just seem to be going nowhere wander on and on pretty much aimlessly. Side II starts like this, then turns out repetitive! The different parts of the "song" are really not tied together at all, except for the "chorus" part that sometimes repeats. Over all, what can I say? Don't avoid, but don't really approach either. One star! (One-and-a-half-stars, really!) |
Posted By: J-Man
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 12:19
 THiS is teh best album EVR!!!!! OK from beginning - i just like to say; this man is genius. And this is first album by such genius. as you can expect from genius this is genius album. i really Like the music because its a masterpiece. This is prog but very good version. by good version i mean like torman maxt which is best band ever. but if simon railton were in a band that would be best band ever. i would buy this album if i Were you cuase its great. also the production is great. its hard for me believeing this was made in his basement on a cheap laptop. ------------- 
Check out my YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime" rel="nofollow - http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 12:29
|
lol
------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: J-Man
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 12:34
Oh don't worry... I have more comin' 
-------------
Check out my YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime" rel="nofollow - http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime |
Posted By: DisgruntledPorcupine
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 12:58
|
Scenes From A Memory
How could I not give this 5 stars? This album has the one thing every prog album needs: orgasms. Just that one thing would win this 5 stars. But look at what else is here. The main characters name is Nicholas. That's my best friends name!! Isn't that a coinky-dink? And Julian is nicknamed "The Sleeper." I love sleeping! And his name starts with J, like mine! And doesn't the hypnotherapist have the most awesome voice? He's without a doubt the best concept album character of all time from that voice alone. With all these points, this album deserves 8 stars, maybe 9. But this damned system won't let me give anymore than 5. I request that this is fixed. |
Posted By: DisgruntledPorcupine
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 13:06
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Images and Words
There is a fast food restaurant known as A&W. I ordered from them a Double Teen Burger with fries. I went home and opened the bag and what did I find? A Grandpa Burger. I think they are trying to call me old! THAT IS A HUGE INSULT! I am 15 years old, not a grandpa! I demand vengeance upon that establishment. So while scouring this site, I found this album. The album is abbreviated I&W. After thinking, I found that is similar to A&W! A&W IS USING THIS ALBUM TO HIDE THEIR IDENTITY FROM PEOPLE THEY INSULT SUCH AS MYSELF!!! I shall give this 1 star to show my disapproval of their insults towards me, and hope to lead an entire army of people to give them 1 star and run them out of business!! |
Posted By: LionRocker
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 18:46
(I haven't even bothered to insert a star rating because this rotten piece of monkey buttocks deserves ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH)
Now, I must admit, I am the biggest fan of chigago ever! I have all of their albums! I have one through two hundred sixty nine and much to my wife's dismay I have lined them in chronological order over our the fire place in our living room. I debate with my fellow forty year old yuppies whether Chigago 19 or 20 is their absolute peak of excellence! I admittedly weeped like a woman when I heard Cetera sing “You’re the Inspiration” at a solo concert in 2004. I have by absolutely legal means (I promise there was no bribery, blackmail, or threatening with weapontry involved.) gotten all of the core members of Chicago to autograph my buttocks (even the late Terry Kath) and haven’t washed it since* Now despite all this I still consider myself a “modest expert” of all things Chicago but theres only one thing this “modest expert” can never hope to comprehend and it is the bands debut . Now, I can understand that sometimes bands can be shocking naïve, ignorant and even stupid with all of the band members being a bunch of youthful, naïve stupid heads but I am simply mortified that these said stupidheads could create such an abysmal, hack job crapfest such as the Chicago Transit Authority. This album is a piece of crap in comparison to their later work and I blame their former guitarist, Terry Kath. First of all, who gives half a banana at this guy’s musical taste? He’s obviously an idiot who had the most moronic rock star death ever! What’s more embarassing then dying masturbating in a bath tub?! Being drunk, holding a loaded gun to yourself and saying “duuuh look I’m gunna shoot ma self with an empty gun”! Who flippen cares! Really? So what if he like jazz rock and prog rock and w**k rock. WHAT KIND OF DWEEBS LISTEN TO THAT STUFF? Adult comtemporary is the only thing that matters! I’m sorry but Kath needed to die for chicago to prosper! Muwhaha! Only then, could Cetera let his creative inspiration FLOWWWWWW! BE FREE! SAAAATERDAAAY EEEN THE PARRRK! I THINK IT WAS THE FORTH OF JULLY! |
Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 18:57
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Octavarium by Dream Theater Six Stars If you don't like this album, go jump off a bridge. |
Posted By: SaltyJon
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 19:28
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This banana is a one of a kind listening experience. The way it sings, you can't even hear some of the notes, but the ones that you can hear are just simply mind-blowing. Every time the fish speaks, you think about life. Why was I born here and not there, what am I meant to do with my time here? Should I care so much about lemons and working, or should I just grab my towel and go hitching around the universe? That's what I think about while watching this banana do its thing. A banana is a strange enough object...ever notice how often prog musicians seem to focus on them? Maybe a banana is a progressive fruit. It's certainly designed with thumbs in mind. I don't normally like bananas, though. I like pineapples. They're more challenging, generally not as easy to get to and devour. That's half of the fun. Plus, pineapples taste soooooo much better than bananas. Sometimes the smell of bananas really puts me off. Pineapples, though...I love everything about them. The taste, the texture, the smell...the design. Look at them, I mean. So avant-garde, really. I can consume pineapple just about any way you can give it to me. Chunks, spears, all at once, the juice, whatever. Just give me pineapple! And that's why I think everyone would like Herbie Hancock's Crossings. ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Salty_Jon" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: July 23 2010 at 19:47
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Jean Louis - Jean Louis Squonk squeal squonk squeal waaaaaaaaaaaaaah squonk squeal waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I have a headache now. This album is lame. Not even Jesus could cure it of its badness. They sure can't play them instruments either. Noise noise noise. ARGH! Whose idea was it to put a trumpet through an effects pedal? Hmmm hmmm? Tell me, whose? It's awful. I almost crashed my car the other day because I made the mistake of trying to play in the car... a man flashed me. If you want to know what Chinese water torture feels like, try Phil Collins. In fact, he'd be an improvement on this rancid swill. Luke is clueless about music. Never recommend me anything again. Jean Louis? John Lewis? Now it makes sense! They have named themselves after the very expensive high street British shop. Not clever guys. Very not clever. 1/5 stars. Only suitable for Luke. -------------
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Posted By: irrelevant
Date Posted: July 24 2010 at 01:18
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Gentle Giant - Octopus
Boy, do these guys know to drag on a two chord jam for over ten minutes. And i was actually expecting something interesting, 1 star.
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Posted By: LionRocker
Date Posted: July 24 2010 at 19:09
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 CHA CHA CHA, CHA CHA! CHA CHA CHA, CHA CHA!
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Posted By: J-Man
Date Posted: August 01 2010 at 13:17
 This is terrible bad album. How could this Album be rate higher than all other album? I tell you why - people call greatest album of all time in prog. Well they very wrong. This album is not good. It is prog but not good progs like Invisible Touch. That is best Genesis album.I wonder why that is not best album evrer to prog fan? I love invisible Touch because of good melody and Phil Collins. Peter Gabriel sounds not good to my ears. He also dresses gay on stage. That why this album is bad and invisible touch is good. -------------
Check out my YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime" rel="nofollow - http://www.youtube.com/user/demiseoftime |
Posted By: RoeDent
Date Posted: August 01 2010 at 13:50
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Pink Floyd - A Momentary Lapse of Reason Ladies and gentlemen, this is the greatest album of all time. Better than Dark Side, WYWH and The Wall combined. 'The Dogs of War' beats 'SOYCD' hands down! Lyrical genius from Mr. Gilmour. An essential piece of prog history! 5 stars |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 11 2010 at 14:21
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Cats & Dogs 2: The revenge of Kitty Galore. Cinematic masterpiece. Great writing,great directing,great acting. How they got the dogs and cats to act together and play nice is beyond me. No CGI faking here. This movie makes Citizen Kane look like Plan 9 from Outer Space. See it now. See it tomorrow. See it a hundred times. You won't be sorry. 9.5/10 only the Twilight movies are better than this one. |