10 Rules of Neo-Prog Bands
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Topic: 10 Rules of Neo-Prog Bands
Posted By: Prog-jester
Subject: 10 Rules of Neo-Prog Bands
Date Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:00
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1. There must be five of you: lead vocals, lead guitar, bass guitar, keyboards and drums. It's good, when keyboardist doubles on guitar or guitarists on keys. 2. It's perfect if you have mellotron. If not - samples are right decision. If not, use bass-pedals at least!!! 3. Use jesters, jigsaw puzzles and roundabouts in artwork, lyrics and interviews (good example:"Mr.journalist, you're puzzled jester!" ) 4. Do never let your drummer sing. Point. You know what it leads to. 5. Theatrics. Drama. Meningful poses and intense faces. MAKE-UP. If your lead-vocalist doesn't aware of what I'm talking about, get rid of him. 6. You must have a 20-min long epic, shamelessly ripped from "Supper's Ready". Or at least steal their "Apocalypse in 9/8" beat/solo. 7. That's not enough. Spread allusions everywhere: whisper "A Flower?" between tracks or suddenly burst with "Total Perpetual Exchange!!!" harmonized vocalise in epic's climax. Name your band MASQUERADE OVERTURE finally! 8. Making an epic is simple: quiet intro, a rocky part, a bridge (acoustic or something), climax and ballad-like outro. Don't even dare to step away from the scheme!!! 9. Collaborate with Clive Nolan or John Jowitt. Just call them, and the very next day you'll be recording an album together!!! 10. Respect every musician (even avantgardists and rappers), but bash Phil Collins every moment you have opportunity to do this. Additions to rules are welcomed!!! 
PS: I like Neo, really! 
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Replies:
Posted By: coleio
Date Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:06
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11. Never sweep pick
------------- Eat heartily at breakfast, for tonight, we dine in Hell!! |
Posted By: stonebeard
Date Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:13
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12. Be better than everyone else I'm leaving now so i won't see your responses.  ------------- http://soundcloud.com/drewagler" rel="nofollow - My soundcloud. Please give feedback if you want! |
Posted By: The Miracle
Date Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:22
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13. Be cringe worthingly cheesy 14. Suck giant monkey balls  ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/ocellatedgod" rel="nofollow - last.fm |
Posted By: Marcos
Date Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:30
I want to be a neo-prog rocker!!! 
------------- www.postmortemweb.com.ar |
Posted By: Arsillus
Date Posted: June 04 2007 at 20:12
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^ No you don't.
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Posted By: Prog-jester
Date Posted: June 05 2007 at 04:17
Isn't this one stolen from Ultimate Code of Laws For John Zorn Worshipers?
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The Miracle wrote:Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: June 05 2007 at 04:21
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enough sentimentality to drive most people to suicide
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Posted By: video vertigo
Date Posted: June 05 2007 at 12:42
 stupid------------- "The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse." - Zappa |
Posted By: Prog-jester
Date Posted: June 06 2007 at 06:19
? 
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Posted By: debrewguy
Date Posted: June 06 2007 at 10:26
I thought that was the province of Gabrielites ? ------------- "Here I am talking to some of the smartest people in the world and I didn't even notice,” Lieutenant Columbo, episode The Bye-Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case. |
Posted By: debrewguy
Date Posted: June 06 2007 at 10:28
Strangely, I see many rules having applied by our prog pantheon ... ------------- "Here I am talking to some of the smartest people in the world and I didn't even notice,” Lieutenant Columbo, episode The Bye-Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case. |