The Bad Jokes thread
Printed From: Progarchives.com
Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36400
Printed Date: December 14 2024 at 12:58
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.01 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: The Bad Jokes thread
Posted By: DallasBryan
Subject: The Bad Jokes thread
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 08:50
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ILL START WITH SOME BAD JOKES
YO MOMMAS SO FAT!
SMALLER FAT WOMEN REVOLVE AROUND HER!
 YO MOMMAS SO FAT!
WHEN SHE HAULS ASS SHE HAS TO USE TWO WHEELBARROWS!
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Replies:
Posted By: toolis
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 08:55
o, oh...
ok, let's bet... how many minutes do you think this thread will last beforer closing? ------------- -music is like pornography... sometimes amateurs turn us on, even more... -sometimes you are the pigeon and sometimes you are the statue... |
Posted By: DallasBryan
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 08:57
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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MIDGET FORTUNE TELLER THAT ESCAPED PRISON?
NEWS REPORTS.........
SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!
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Posted By: magnus
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 10:02
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yo' momma so fat, that when she went to school, she sat next to EVERYONE.
------------- The scattered jigsaw of my redemption laid out before my eyes Each piece as amorphous as the other - Each piece in its lack of shape a lie 
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Posted By: Abstrakt
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 10:10
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One day, Pekka was cycling.
The Road turned left, but Pekka didn't.
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Posted By: markosherrera
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 22:01
| one man go to a doctor because has a big parasite in digestive system,the parasite is a giant worm,the doctor said to the man you only need some potatos and a big stick(palo),and put all the days at 8 am 5 potatos in the ass very deep,after 10 days ,come here at 7.45 am..after 10 days the man go to the doctor,and the doctor ask.how you feel?..bad doctor i feel bad...the doctor said: open your legs.......after two hours the man said ..doctor I am tired ,I have 2 hours with the legs open...doctor=patience please !!! after other hour appear the worm in the ass ,and the worm said = More ,more potato please!!!..and the doctor take the stick and hit in the head of the worm and kill it ,and the doctor said= ok give me 20$ you are sane again |
Posted By: stonebeard
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 22:06
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That is the most disturbing thing I've ever read.
------------- http://soundcloud.com/drewagler" rel="nofollow - My soundcloud. Please give feedback if you want! |
Posted By: Bj-1
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 22:08
So stupid and gross it's funny. ------------- RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on! |
markosherrera wrote:Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 22:34
Are you ok? -------------   |
Posted By: Bastille Dude
Date Posted: April 04 2007 at 22:39
More, More potato please!!  ------------- DEATH TO FALSE PROG! |
Posted By: Badabec
Date Posted: April 05 2007 at 06:11
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Yo' Momma 's so fat, dogs play frisbee on her body!
------------- Mesmo a tristeza da gente era mais bela E além disso se via da janela Um cantinho de céu e o Redentor - Antônio Carlos Jobim, Toquinho & Vinícius de Moraes - Carta ao Tom 74 |
Posted By: Komodo dragon
Date Posted: April 05 2007 at 06:38
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work ? A Stick ! |
Posted By: progismylife
Date Posted: April 05 2007 at 06:40
There is already a thread like this  http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15908&PN=1 - http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15908&PN=1 |
Posted By: daz2112
Date Posted: April 16 2007 at 15:58
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Velcro...What a rip off!
As i was getting into my car,this bloke says to me "can you give me a lift?" I said "sure,you look great,the world's you're oyster,go for it!" ------------- In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole |
Posted By: Sasquamo
Date Posted: April 16 2007 at 16:31
So? |
Posted By: daz2112
Date Posted: April 16 2007 at 16:33
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I saw this bloke chatting up a Cheetah, I thought he's trying to pull a fast one! ------------- In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole |
Posted By: daz2112
Date Posted: May 22 2007 at 14:13
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I went to the doctor & said "i have a small island with palm trees,flowers growing on it & a small sea surrounding it on my cheek!" The doctor said "It's just a beauty spot!" ------------- In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole |
Posted By: Melomaniac
Date Posted: May 22 2007 at 14:29
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A woman in her late twenties has been complaining for a few years to her boyfriend that she thinks her breasts are too small. He never made a case of it, until she came to him and said ;"I'm thinking of having implants."
So he came up with this idea ;
"I have an idea for you, he said. Take some toilet paper, and rub your breasts with the toilet paper at least twice a day. I can garantee you'll have bigger breasts."
Quizically looking at her boyfriend, the woman replied ; "What kind of nonesense is this ? It won't do anything!!!"
To which the boyfriend replied ; "You should see what toilet paper has made to your butt !!!"
------------- "One likes to believe in the freedom of Music" - Neil Peart, The Spirit of Radio |
Posted By: paolo.beenees
Date Posted: May 22 2007 at 14:38
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After years of heavy petting without getting to the target, a young man tries to convince her girlfriend to have real sex.
"I won't" she answers "You've got to marry me!!"
The young man so rushes to his girlfriend's house, calls her daddy and tells him "Sir, I want your daughter's c**t in marriage!"
Astonished, the father replies "You'd better tell me you want her hand"
"No!" exclaims the young man "I'm pretty tired of it..." ------------- 
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Posted By: yface1
Date Posted: May 22 2007 at 16:27
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A cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there were only
3 survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre.They
manage to swim to a small island and they lived there for a couple of
years doing what's atural for men and women to do..... After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely
horrible about what she had been doing. She felt that having sex with
both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed
herself. It was very tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it and, after a while nature once more took its inevitable course........... Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing .. . . . . . . . So they buried her. ------------- My entertainment dollar is burning in my pocket! |
Posted By: Melomaniac
Date Posted: May 22 2007 at 16:29
 ------------- "One likes to believe in the freedom of Music" - Neil Peart, The Spirit of Radio |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: May 22 2007 at 17:44
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^
A boy named Uriel was born with a navel the shape of a keyhole. One day he asked his mother if there was a reason for this. His mother didn't know, but she said: "Try asking your granny. She's the wisest person in the family". So Uriel asked his granny, but she couldn't answer him. Instead, she said: "Go to the old lady who lives on the outskirts of the village. She's the wisest person here, she'll know." So Uriel did as he was told, but the old lady couldn't help him. She gave him the following advice: "Go to the king. His wisdom is unparalelled in the whole country. He's bound to know the answer to your question". So off went Uriel on a trip to the king's castle. He managed to secure an audience, and asked the king about his navel. But the king couldn't help him, either. Like the others, he gave him some advice: "Far, far to the north lives an ancient wizard. I am not familiar with anyone wiser than him. If he doesn't know the answer to your question, nobody does." Determined to learn the truth, Uriel wandered off in search of the wizard. It was a long and hard journey, but he finally arrived at the door of the wizard's fortress. "I can help you," said the wizard, "but first you must serve me for seven years." Uriel agreed and spent the next seven years in the wizard's service. Finally, the wizard called him and said: "I don't know the whole truth behind the shape of your navel, boy. What I do know is that there is a key that will fit into it. Unfortunately, the key is at the bottom of the Infernal Ravine, many miles to the south. It is guarded by a fierce dragon. None who challenged him have survived." Uriel shuddered at these words, but he immediately regained his composure and pledged he would slay the dragon and find the key. Many weeks passed until he reached the Infernal Ravine. Skeletons of warriors and their steeds lined the path to the dragon's lair, but Uriel wasn't going to be stopped. A savage battle ensued. The dragon was monstrous, with twelve fire-breathing heads and claws as sharp as diamonds, but Uriel's determination more than made up for the disproportion between the two combatants. Using his sword and some tricks he had learned in the wizard's service, Uriel finally defeated the dragon. There, before him, on top of a hoard of treasure the dragon had been using as his bed was a golden key. Uriel climbed the pile and grasped it. He admired its shape and sheen for a few moments, then said: "Finally, I have gained what I desired most!!!" Then he put the key into his navel, turned it and his butt fell off. |
Posted By: tardis
Date Posted: May 25 2007 at 15:33
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Why did the chicken cross the aqueduct? Are you kidding me? Chickens can't swim! |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: May 26 2007 at 15:09
Thought I'd repost this. |
Posted By: yface1
Date Posted: May 26 2007 at 17:24
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A wealthy old
lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for
company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!" ------------- My entertainment dollar is burning in my pocket! |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: May 28 2007 at 14:41
Yface1 - this is a BAD jokes thread, please remove yours 
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Posted By: yface1
Date Posted: May 28 2007 at 19:51
I'm, allowed one more at least, right? If this is funny then I'll give up on the bad jokes and start a post on "relatively funny jokes" Anyway, here goes...A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?" "I just saw one of your garters!" "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!" The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?" "I just saw both of your garters!" Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!" Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom. "Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!" ------------- My entertainment dollar is burning in my pocket! |
Posted By: markosherrera
Date Posted: June 09 2007 at 19:30
| One day,in the market ,many people was looking the man that sell chicken,..all said wow this man is incredible..ooohh... Why ? I ask.... Because he can SAY from where are the chickens after he smell the chicken ...look.....THe man (seller) ,take the chicken and put the finger in to the ass of the chicken and after smell his finger and said..this chicken is from Brazil,after take other chicken ,put his finger in the ass of the chicken and said..uhmmm this is a Tasmanian chicken and the same with others chickens...and all the people said ooh what memory..what nose!!..is awesome ooohhh .......in this moment one drunk man enter saying..hey seller !!!!....,say me from where I AM ..BECAUSE I am LOST!!!!!! |
Posted By: daz2112
Date Posted: June 22 2007 at 13:20
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One armed butler's eh! They can take it but they can't dish it out!
------------- In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole |
Posted By: TheProgtologist
Date Posted: June 22 2007 at 22:51
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I don't allow duplicate threads in JFF,the oldest one stays,the newest one gest closed. -------------  |