Rules for Prog-Metallists
Printed From: Progarchives.com
Category: Progressive Music Lounges
Forum Name: Prog Bands, Artists and Genres Appreciation
Forum Description: Discuss specific prog bands and their members or a specific sub-genre
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23854
Printed Date: March 06 2025 at 12:59
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Topic: Rules for Prog-Metallists
Posted By: Prog-jester
Subject: Rules for Prog-Metallists
Date Posted: May 26 2006 at 12:52
I seen The Miracle's thread,and found almost similar joke.Translated and edited by me  :
1.If someone hates prog-metal,he's an unintelligent tasteless freak 2.If he still does,then kill him 3.Hate the mainstream 4.If someone likes mainstream,then...oh no,we can't kill everybody 
5.While introducing new prog-metal CD to a friend,you'd begin with the most complex solo-part in the longest track 6.If he dislike it,look n.1 7.If he doesn't,he's over the stupid crowd!!! 
8.Your drummer hasn't got two pedals yet? Quit him!!! 9.Buy all side-projects CDs of DREAM THEATER.Never listen to them though 10.Remember: "Falling into Infinity" is crap."Octavarium" is modern crap 11.The music must always be progressing.If you've released at least one prog-metal album, then forget this rule 12.You have a 4-min song and it's not a ballad? It's NOT PROG!!! 13.Don't ever hum to prog 14.Remember:if progger cuts his hair,he isn't a progger anymore.He sold out 15.Oh boy,you have more than 4 minutes of 4/4 in your 60-min album? You should work on it! 16.Spend at least 5 hours in prog forums 17.Spend no more than 5 minutes with instrument per day 18.You have 4 strings on you bass? Man,Madonna's bassist has 5! 19.Spend your soundcheck time swearing punk bands 20.Talent=speed 21.Do remember the first rule!!! Some examples of lyrics: "I`m staring towards ascension divine, caught in my own revelation, a nightly mystery of soulburning apparition" "Mornings` gentle caress, a ray of sunlight enveloping the spirit of the sleeper ventriloquist" "A timid, palatable genocide, turn towards the decline of mankind, the festering wound of ages past changes into the soul-spirit of vestigial sentences" Some examples of band's names: -Eternal Twilight Tranquility -Redolent Arithmetic -Evolution of Vernacular Domesticated -Silent Noise -Tender Harshness -Healing Gun (a bit heavier) -Deitronus -Tarakoch -Fentaran |
Replies:
Posted By: chamberry
Date Posted: May 26 2006 at 13:13
Good one  But I like the rules for being a Tool fan better sorry ------------- 
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Posted By: aapatsos
Date Posted: May 26 2006 at 17:10
I particularly liked 9 and 10 
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Posted By: Viajero Astral
Date Posted: May 26 2006 at 19:43
 ------------- 
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Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: May 27 2006 at 02:09
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That's fantastic! And Rule 9....
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Posted By: Ed_The_Dead
Date Posted: May 27 2006 at 09:17
We had a topic similar to this one some time ago... And there were over 50 such rules... ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/ed_the_dead/?chartstyle=asimpleblue5"> 
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Posted By: Prog-jester
Date Posted: May 27 2006 at 12:43
Nothing wrong; I guess the author of both Code of Laws is the same man!!! |
chamberry wrote:Posted By: Norbert
Date Posted: May 29 2006 at 07:24
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Rules 9, 10, 15 and 18 are great.
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Posted By: sleeper
Date Posted: May 29 2006 at 08:29
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I like rule 18, its a good job my bass has 6
------------- Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005 
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