Things to do when bored in a supermarket
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Topic: Things to do when bored in a supermarket
Posted By: Jim Garten
Subject: Things to do when bored in a supermarket
Date Posted: November 25 2004 at 12:39
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Do this either when bored or when your 'significant other' is taking his/her sweet time.....
Give yourself 1 point for each task successfully completed - the lucky couple with the highest score wins a weekend for 2 in Peter Rideout's underwear closet. 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms, randomly put them in peoples trolleys when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the bathrooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone? 8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 9. While handling knives in the housewares department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'. 11. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. 12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!' 13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'....and last but not least, 14. Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly ..'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'. ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Replies:
Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: November 25 2004 at 12:48
 
------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: The Prognaut
Date Posted: November 25 2004 at 17:28
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BWWWWAAAHHHH!! Great stuff Jim!!! I'd definitely do numbers 5 and 10 specially...
------------- break the circle reset my head wake the sleepwalker and i'll wake the dead |
Posted By: sigod
Date Posted: November 26 2004 at 06:23
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Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Jim Garten Always out-numbered, never out-gunned...  ------------- I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision. - Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill |