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At Work

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Printed Date: November 23 2024 at 13:21
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Topic: At Work
Posted By: Peter
Subject: At Work
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 00:37

ErmmOn this thread, we will bitch, moan, and complain about things that happened at work. Go ahead -- vent!Big smile

If you don't work, or are a student (any paid work experience, ever, counts), get your own thread! (Suggested titles: LEACH, Dazed and Confused.)

SmileI'll start...

True Stories from Substitute Teaching, Pt. 1: " WackoMr Rideout, eh? Mind if I call you Mr Burnout?" Pinch

Shocked

Angry Arrrrgh! It took a full two hours and three bags of frozen peas for the vein in my forehead to stop throbbing!  Stern Smile

REdrUm!Angry

 

 See you Monday morning, fellow pee-ons! Wink

 Ermm BTW: I wanted to call this thread "Men At Work," but didn't dare, now that we have 2.5 active female members here...

 

 

 

 

Embarrassed HI G-dub-thee Thir Knight !LOL



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.



Replies:
Posted By: StarvingArtyst
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 01:10
I'm at a computer lab at my college. The *expletive thing froze up after I had written a substantial amount on a project I'm working on. I lost all my progress.


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 01:12

I usually just vent my anger right at work. It's a good thing I am a teamster or I would have lost my job years ago.

I am very meticulous, have many pet peaves and usually downright surly and temperamental....other than that I am an angel.

Right now work hasn't been too difficult or stressful of late...same sh#t, different day as the old saying goes.



Posted By: Ivan_Melgar_M
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 01:42

Some years I had the most stupid case I ever saw and I remembered it today because I found the accused today after 9 years.

By rule I NEVER defend drugs, rape, pedophilia or terrorism cases (Well I'm not a Penal lawyer, but I know the system very well.)

But one day a good friend called me, his stupid brother was caught with 180 grms. of weed, because of the amount it's considered traffic, but this a$$hole was going to a camp and accepted to buy the weed for all his friends.

This kid was facing 7 years and he had to forget the University, so I accepted to deal with the police before everything went to the Prosecutor.

Our police is very racist, if you are white they assume you're rich and stupid, so you deserve to be ripped off, they asked the kid's father (Not rich, but he lives well because he's a good but not famous architect) for US$ 25,000.00 to let the kid out and vanish any record, of course the poor father didn't had that amount to throw away, so he asked me to help.

After hours of negotiation the Captain accepted US$ 5,000.00 but for my luck a friend that I didn't saw for 10 or more years entered and he is now a Colonel, when he saw me and the father ordered to leave the kid out without paying a cent, so the greedy Captain stayed with nothing.

But funny part was when the stupid kid asked me to tell the Colonel to give him back the weed because his friends had paid for it.

Of course the kid received nothing except 60 kicks in the a$$ by his father in thedoor of the police precinct .

Today I found the kid in court (he's a lawyer), remembered the case laughing but he told me he was going to buy some weed for the weekend, when you're born moron, you die moron.

Iván



Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 02:00
I came to my senses a few years ago and now work for myself. The last "real" job I had I walked out of and didn't even bother picking up my last paycheck. This was in Calgary AB. One of the biggest mistakes of my life was working in the corporate world in Calgary , what a goofy city. I just packed up and left for HOME in Montreal. They tried to contact me but I just laughed at all the messages they left on my machine. He who laughs last always laughs the loudest.


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 08:11
i have been at work, give or take about 10 hours of
sleep, for about three and half years - actually, just
the past three days.
I hate the world and my poxy, down-trodden,
underpaid place in it.
I am fast-losing the will to live.... and the coffee in the
staff canteen sucks


Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 08:56

What if we don't technically go to work? Can I complain about bugs in my word processor? I don't expect much sympathy...

Or I could borrow my wife's complaints, which are many. So far it seems that "No Child Left Behind" has resulted in a lot of children being left behind. Instead of a diploma these kids are just going to get a printout of the results of the standardized tests they've been taking nonstop for 14-15 years.

I can see it now, "Pomp and Circumstance" in the background, and the principal saying "Congratulations, and time's up; put down your pencils." Instead of a mortarboard you get a stack of punch cards.

(do they even use punch cards any more?)

LOL. "Mr. Burnout". With your dedication to renaming forum members, there's a bit of poetic justice in that, isn't there? Although the only thing your name makes me think of is an obscure lyric from Joy Division's "Twenty Four Hours":

So this is permanence, love’s shattered pride.
What once was innocence, turned on it’s side.
A cloud hangs over me, marks every move,
Deep in the memory, of what once was love.

Oh how I realised how I wanted time,
Put into perspective, tried so hard to find,
Just for one moment, thought I’d found my way.
Destiny unfolded, I watched it slip away.

Excessive flashpoints, beyond all reach,
Solitary demands for all I’d like to keep.
Let’s take a ride out, see what we can find,
A valueless collection of hopes and past desires.

I never realised the lengths I’d have to go,
All the darkest corners of a sense I didn’t know.
Just for one moment, I heard somebody call,
Looked beyond the day in hand, there’s nothing there at all.

Now that I’ve realised how it’s all gone wrong,
Gottas find some therapy, this treatment takes too long.
Deep in the heart of where sympathy held sway,
Gotta find my destiny, before it gets too late.



-------------
http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 10:38

Originally posted by arcer arcer wrote:

i have been at work, give or take about 10 hours of
sleep, for about three and half years - actually, just
the past three days.
I hate the world and my poxy, down-trodden,
underpaid place in it.
I am fast-losing the will to live.... and the coffee in the
staff canteen sucks

and the winner of the Work Sucks Award go to Arcer!!!!

Ok ....Everybody!!...for he's a jolly good fellow...........



Posted By: Petra
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 11:02

I hate working Saturdays especially when there isnt anything to do at work either its so Boring!

and i have a hangover 

 



-------------
Don't hate me
I'm not special like you


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 11:20

Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

LOL. "Mr. Burnout". With your dedication to renaming forum members, there's a bit of poetic justice in that, isn't there?

ConfusedI surely don't know what you're referring to, James Last....



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 13:51
Still at work.....
....
......
.......
..........

Coffee stil sucks.......
.....
........
..........
............

Think I'm getting an ulcer from it







Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 14:47
still here


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 14:58

I deal with "The General Public" everyday. I am a "Manager" and occasionally I cover other branches as a favour-which is what I did today.

Within minutes of opening the door a guy comes in and says "has my problem been sorted out yet?" Not noticing any obvious ailment and being a retail outlet I told him that if he could explain his problem I should be able to sort it out.

He says:

"I dont want to talk to the monkey-get me the organ-grinder!"

I "escorted" him off the premises and told him to return either when he could talk to me in a civilised manner (he was lucky he still had his teeth but i got laid last nightWink) or when the usual manager was in.

Our company has nearly 2000 outlets in the UK so of course we have a customer service department.....guess what?

25 minutes later I get a call from customer services saying the guy claimed I had been very rude to him and had practically dragged him out of the shop...and that I should apologise!Confused

Needless to say that despite further urgings from my Area Manager no apology will be forthcomingLOL

But the point is how could he even think he had any reason to complain about me?Angry

Just before you state the obvious-believe it or not I am very good at customer service ( no laughing at the back) and can be charming, polite and diplomatic when paid to do so!  Honest!Stern Smile

 

Ouch



-------------





Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 15:39
sigh.... still here....

bad pizza from bad pizza place has now arrived...

another long

dark

night

of the

soul

awaits.....


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 16:29

Big smileGlad to see this thread is such a ranting, roaring success!Clap

Reed: "I can be charming, polite, and diplomatic when paid to do so" -- Ha!LOL

Arser: Hang in there -- only 30 more years or so to go....Tongue

Get back to work!Angry

Hmmmm.... cold beer... perhaps some music and a snooze on the couch.... Wink



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 19:05

Ah,academia.

Mon-Fri, 9am-4pm.Summers off. Senility a positive advantage.

And still the old bastard complains!Angry

LOL



-------------





Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 19:41

Originally posted by arcer arcer wrote:

sigh.... still here....

bad pizza from bad pizza place has now arrived... 

I subscibe to the philosophy that pizza is like sex...even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

except with anchovies.

nobody should have sex with anchovies.



-------------
http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 20:02

Who the f*ck's Anne Chovis?Confused

why would you not have sex with her?

Does she have a face like a pizza?

How's Pizza like sex?

I'm very confused.

How can bad sex be good? Good for whom?

 



-------------





Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 20 2004 at 23:41
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

Who the f*ck's Anne Chovis?Confused

why would you not have sex with her?

Does she have a face like a pizza?

How's Pizza like sex?

I'm very confused.

How can bad sex be good? Good for whom?

 

....

I seriously hope you're joking Reedy my boy.

Sometimes I cannot tell when you're serious or not.

 



Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 00:50
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

Ah,academia.

Mon-Fri, 9am-4pm.Summers off. Senility a positive advantage.

And still the old bastard complains!Angry

LOL

Shocked Nine to four?!! I wouldn't be caught dead in such servitude! It is to laugh!Stern Smile

LOLTry half that, for twice the DiNeros.Wink

Isn't that the phone, GReed QuestionTongue



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 00:55
Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

Originally posted by arcer arcer wrote:

sigh.... still here....

bad pizza from bad pizza place has now arrived... 

I subscibe to the philosophy that pizza is like sex...even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

except with anchovies.

nobody should have sex with anchovies.

Shocked  What about the anchovies? However shall they carry on? Confused

 Ermm I vote that the anchovies should get to have sex with the anchovies! Stern Smile

Think of the children...Cry



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 01:58
I wonder if Arcer is still at work?


Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 05:25

I was too hasty; anyone who is of the proper size to please an anchovy may certainly do so.

otherwise, carry on having sex with the pizza.

huh?



-------------
http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 11:07
Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

I was too hasty; anyone who is of the proper size to please an anchovy may certainly do so.

otherwise, carry on having sex with the pizza.

huh?

Shocked  Oh, you saucy beggar!  WinkLOL



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 11:19

still here.....



Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 11:25

No I lie..... After a 12-hour day I left the office trekked across the city to meet my girlfriend at a party to celebrate Mexican Independence or something (my missus is from mexico). I coulnd't drink because I was driving, I didn't understand much of anything as they were all drunk on tequila and speaking badly slurred spanish at 4000mph and dancing to reeeeeeeaaaalllllly bad banda music (think brass bands with techno rhythm - the mind boggles). I ate some crappy burritos, had a coke, went home, slept for a while and .....

tada!!!!! here I am back at work - same sh***y job different company. Shoot me now.



Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 12:42

dude, you haven't lived until you've heard the spanish-language version of Nazareth's "Love Hurts"...when I was working construction it was popular among the mexican workers on the sites (all documented, I'm sure...)

wait a sec...Cinco de Mayo is in November now? They have two Independence Days already but the other one is in September...confusing!



-------------
http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 12:59

Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

dude, you haven't lived until you've heard the spanish-language version of Nazareth's "Love Hurts"...when I was working construction it was popular among the mexican workers on the sites (all documented, I'm sure...)

You can hear the very thing in the fine Jack Nicholson flic "The Crossing Guard." Stern Smile



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 13:04

Cinco de Mayo, November the whatever  these people are MEXICAN!!!! they are even worse than the Irish for pointless excuses to get roaring drunk and sing

much like a great old Irish saying: "all our wars are happy and our songs are sad"



Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 13:43
Originally posted by arcer arcer wrote:

No I lie..... After a 12-hour day I left the office trekked across the city to meet my girlfriend at a party to celebrate Mexican Independence or something (my missus is from mexico). I coulnd't drink because I was driving, I didn't understand much of anything as they were all drunk on tequila and speaking badly slurred spanish at 4000mph and dancing to reeeeeeeaaaalllllly bad banda music (think brass bands with techno rhythm - the mind boggles). I ate some crappy burritos, had a coke, went home, slept for a while and .....

tada!!!!! here I am back at work - same sh***y job different company. Shoot me now.

Get rid of her...relationships are just a waste of time. They make you go places you don't want to be, shop for things you don't want, spend all your money,make you listen to horrible music.....and for what....a little nookie!!!...

next thing you know you have children,she leaves you and you're stuck paying an enormous amount of child support.

and then even though the relationship is over she still makes you miserable because of the child(ren) in the picture......Marriage with no benefits

RUN AND GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!! 



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 14:18
Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Get rid of him...relationships are just a waste of time. They make you go places you don't want to be, swallow things you don't want,take you up the back passage, spend all your money,make you listen to horrible music.....and for what....a little nookie!!!...

next thing you know you have piles,he leaves you and you're stuck paying an enormous amount for cooling creams.

RUN AND GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!! 

my PC must be playing up (pun intendedWink)

LOL



-------------





Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 14:30
uhhh but i like her


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:00

What exactly do you do Arcer> nightwatchman,concierge,security or car park attendant?

Confused



-------------





Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:04
journalist


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:05

yes, yes, the hahahahah but you can't write jokes can start now.....

nobody ever said you had to be able to write to be a hack



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:14

Originally posted by arcer arcer wrote:

professional alcoholic

 



-------------





Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:19
 again, shurely shome mishtake hic!


Posted By: Arioch
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:20

Heh, Heh.....Gdub and Arcer............reminds me of some lyrics to a song from a local band here...I have to clean it up a little though.

Promise
 
Expect so much
want my touch
harass me , nag me , talk too much
 
you're confused
you don't know
keep it up and I'm gonna hit the road
 
You want me to stay
but you make me leave
If you keep up your sh#t, I 'm going to heave
 
You're a stupid b#tch
just like the rest
brains of an ape...or less
 
You want a promise I can't give
if you're around me I can't live
 
shut yer face
get outa my way
can't rule my life
can't take the day
give me what I want
or just go away
 
left me again
I think this is 10
why do you do it again and again?
 
Always compared
to the other guys
you say your sh#t , saying your lies
 
Wasting my time
wasted my time
spent my last f#ckin' dime
 
you think I'm boring
you think.....
well who told you to think?
 
You want a promise I can't give
If you're around me I can't live
 
Shut yer face
get outa my way
can't rule my life
can't take the day
give me what I want
or just go away
 
 
 


-------------
Knight of the Swords
Lord of Entropy
Duke of Chaos


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:43

what an enlightened approach to relations with the fair sex!

those boys surely have the ladies queuing up to get close them



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:48
Your only bitter cos your missus was eatin' mexican all last night!

-------------





Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 15:50

ouch!



Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 16:05
Originally posted by Arioch Arioch wrote:

Heh, Heh.....Gdub and Arcer............reminds me of some lyrics to a song from a local band here...I have to clean it up a little though.

Promise
 
Expect so much
want my touch
harass me , nag me , talk too much
 
you're confused
you don't know
keep it up and I'm gonna hit the road
 
You want me to stay
but you make me leave
If you keep up your sh#t, I 'm going to heave
 
You're a stupid b#tch
just like the rest
brains of an ape...or less
 
You want a promise I can't give
if you're around me I can't live
 
shut yer face
get outa my way
can't rule my life
can't take the day
give me what I want
or just go away
 
left me again
I think this is 10
why do you do it again and again?
 
Always compared
to the other guys
you say your sh#t , saying your lies
 
Wasting my time
wasted my time
spent my last f#ckin' dime
 
you think I'm boring
you think.....
well who told you to think?
 
You want a promise I can't give
If you're around me I can't live
 
Shut yer face
get outa my way
can't rule my life
can't take the day
give me what I want
or just go away
 
 
 

....that is about the most obnoxious thing I have ever read...I loved it

Who was that band again Arioch?...you didn't mention that.



Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 21 2004 at 16:15

Work is finished. Hooray!!!! But then again, since I've done absolutely sweet f**k all in here today except talk rubbish on this forum, i might as welll have been at home, where I talk rubbish all the time.

Tomorrow, or soon - I promise faithfully - I will contribute something meaningful to the site, a thread of value which provokes intelligent discourse, something entertaining, thought provoking, germaine to the lives of all who visit here

or maybe I'll just piss Reed off again...

manana .... or something....



Posted By: sigod
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 05:21
I have this week off  so I'm sitting in bed with my laptop writing this, listening to Tangerine Dream and drinking tea.

Anyone want to know what I wearing or is this not that kind of forum?


-------------
I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill


Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 07:19
Currently enjoying a lunchbreak & listening to that most irritating of sounds, the "group of managers gathered together & laughing that particularly loud and distinctive laugh you only get when a group of managers are gathered together".

Anyone imprisoned in an office for a living knows the sound I mean

-------------

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012


Posted By: sigod
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 10:11
Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Currently enjoying a lunchbreak & listening to that most irritating of sounds, the "group of managers gathered together & laughing that particularly loud and distinctive laugh you only get when a group of managers are gathered together".

Anyone imprisoned in an office for a living knows the sound I mean


There's never a gun around when you need one, eh, Jim?
 

-------------
I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill


Posted By: Bryan
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 13:16
Well, I'm at school, which is as close as I come to being at work...


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 13:28

Originally posted by Useful_Idiot Useful_Idiot wrote:

Well, I'm at school, which is as close as I come to being at work...

ya young insoulent varmint!

Why when i was young I had to walk to school uphill...both ways....in 2 ft of snow..with no shoes on!!.....things were different back then!!...

...I could rip a telephone book in half when i was your age!...In half I tell ya!!!., In half!!

 



Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 13:39

Originally posted by sigod sigod wrote:

I have this week off  so I'm sitting in bed with my laptop writing this, listening to Tangerine Dream and drinking tea.

Anyone want to know what I wearing or is this not that kind of forum?

What were you wearing sigod?



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 13:44
Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Originally posted by sigod sigod wrote:

I have this week off  so I'm sitting in bed with my laptop writing this, listening to Tangerine Dream and drinking tea.

Anyone want to know what I wearing or is this not that kind of forum?

What were you wearing sigod?

A thong and a butt plug.



-------------





Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 14:01
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Originally posted by sigod sigod wrote:

I have this week off  so I'm sitting in bed with my laptop writing this, listening to Tangerine Dream and drinking tea.

Anyone want to know what I wearing or is this not that kind of forum?

What were you wearing sigod?

A thong and a butt plug.

I know what you were wearing last night, Reedy my snookums baby

I was asking sigod



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 14:02
Embarrassed

-------------





Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 14:16
You dirty, dirty boys!

-------------

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 14:19

He's a date-raping slimeball, he really is!

Dead



-------------





Posted By: sigod
Date Posted: November 22 2004 at 17:24
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Originally posted by sigod sigod wrote:

I have this week off  so I'm sitting in bed with my laptop writing this, listening to Tangerine Dream and drinking tea.

Anyone want to know what I wearing or is this not that kind of forum?

What were you wearing sigod?

A thong and a butt plug.



Damm, first guess and Reed gets it in one
 

-------------
I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill


Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 08:51
Sponsor 7

-------------
http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 17:01
Thumbs UpPinchShockedOuchConfusedEmbarrassedCensored

-------------





Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 18:40

I have heard that WORK is a pain in the arse, but you guys have a totally different concept of work then I ever imagined.  

I wonder if Reed's plug has an "inspected by" sticker on it?

Did they test it for quality control?

Who is they and where does GDUB work?

 



Posted By: Garion81
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 18:45

Is this the kind of work these guys are doing?



Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 18:47
Wow, Sebastian Bach has let himself go a little lately, eh?

-------------
http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Garion81
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 18:54

 

You know these guys GDUB? 

http://www.scaretactics.com/bigrichard/photos3/grass.jpg -


Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 19:00

Job Description: Rectal Orifice Stoppage Device tester.

The Position: L-shaped, as in "bent over a barrell." Persons are needed to inspect and test new cylindrical rectal orifice stoppage devices.

Education level: First of Second Year College Dropouts in need of beer money. 

Pay Scale: The pay's not great, but the tips are big.

Desired Qualifications: High pain tolerance, limber, self lubricating, ability to fart without making a sound.   



Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 20:14
Originally posted by danbo danbo wrote:

 

 

 

 where does GDUB work?

 

I work for UPS as a Hazardous Material Responder. Full time...been there 14 years now.

.....so if anthrax is shipped into our building, there's a good liklihood I'll be exposed to it...



Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 20:37
Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

I work for The Department of the Environment, as a Hazardous Materials Taster. Full time...been there 14 years now. After a while, you get used to all the cancers, and the extra head growing out of your shoulder -- I call mine "Spurious George." Wacko

And if Danbo moves into my building, there's a good liklihood I'll be exposing myself to him...HeartPinch 



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 23 2004 at 20:45

Originally posted by <strong>gdub</strong>411 <U>really</U> gdub411 really wrote:

].....so if anthrax is shipped into our building, there's a good liklihood I'll be exposed to it...

Big smile Sounds like a plan...Thumbs Up

Ermm But why wait, Grub? Snort some today! Tongue

I hear it's good with early Pink Floyd....Wink



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 12:22

So you have hands-on experience with Anthrax?

I always suspected those guys of backdoor shenanigans

Come on, sooner or later the joke had to be made...

I'm still mad at you guys for not laughing at my Sebastian Bach reference



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http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 12:43

Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

Wow, Sebastian Bach has let himself go a little lately, eh?

LOL

Embarrassed

creepy creepy..........



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Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 12:49

too little, too late



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http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 13:36
Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

I'm still mad at you guys for not laughing at my Sebastian Bach reference

Sebastian Bach...good one James!!



Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 16:18
Who?Confused

-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 16:36

Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Who?Confused

Where?LOL



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Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 16:56

Peter: he was (or is, who cares) the lead singer of Skid Row. If that still elicits a "who?" then I guess there's no point in making fun of the poor tool.

from the poster in my bedroom (he's so dreamy!):

I'm kidding, of course...or am I?



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http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 17:17
Originally posted by Garion81 Garion81 wrote:

 

You know these guys GDUB? 

http://www.scaretactics.com/bigrichard/photos3/grass.jpg -

Tiny Tim and Dr. Henry Morgentaler?LOL

Salman Rushdie?Confused



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 17:38
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

[QUOTE=Garion81]

Interesting stain on the above photo....Wink



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Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 24 2004 at 21:03
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

[QUOTE=Garion81]

Interesting stain on the above photo....Wink

Trapper John M.D. and Kenny G.



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http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 25 2004 at 08:52
Originally posted by Garion81 Garion81 wrote:

 

You know these guys GDUB? 

http://www.scaretactics.com/bigrichard/photos3/grass.jpg -

That unlikely duo, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and Michael Bolton?Confused



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: November 25 2004 at 09:31
You mean the author of "One Day in the Arse of Ivan Denisovitch"?

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http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 25 2004 at 13:18

Wasn't it " A Day In The Wife Of Ivan Denisovitch"

While the cat's away (digging for salt..)LOL



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Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 26 2004 at 17:11

Oh c'mon I'm at work again - be serious fer Crissakes!!! I'm trying to concentrate on earth shattering events

like where the f**k did James get that pic of Sebastian Bach and why has he dislocated his shoulders?



Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 26 2004 at 17:11
no wait.... I'm going home byeeeeeeee!!


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 26 2004 at 17:46
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, thanks for coming, we must do this again some time!Smile

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Posted By: Sweetnighter
Date Posted: November 27 2004 at 00:09
work = suck

-------------
I bleed coffee. When I don't drink coffee, my veins run dry, and I shrivel up and die.
"Banco Del Mutuo Soccorso? Is that like the bank of Italian soccer death or something?" -my girlfriend


Posted By: arcer
Date Posted: November 27 2004 at 07:59
sounds like Sweetnighter has the toughest job of all
of us .... eeeeuuuuuuuwwwww


Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 27 2004 at 11:02
^ Ha!LOL

-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 27 2004 at 11:14

Originally posted by Sweetnighter Sweetnighter wrote:

work = suck

I envy you!



Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: November 27 2004 at 11:24
Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Originally posted by Sweetnighter Sweetnighter wrote:

work = suck

I envy you! 

Shocked Are you sure, Gdub?

I hear he works for a septic-tank cleaning company....Dead



-------------
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.


Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: November 28 2004 at 05:05
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Originally posted by Sweetnighter Sweetnighter wrote:

work = suck

I envy you! 

Shocked Are you sure, Gdub?

I hear he works for a septic-tank cleaning company....Dead

yuk Oops....I like sh#tholes but not that kind.



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 28 2004 at 08:10

I wondered when we'd get round to the subject of Felching Greg.

ShockedNo I'm not suggesting we do that, the sentence is just badly constructed!Ouch

It should read:I wondered when we'd get round to the subject of felching, Greg.LOL



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Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: November 29 2004 at 17:24

Holy Shiite, Batman.... I can see my desk! I actually cleared a pile of paperwork and noticed the beautiful fake oak lamenent underneath. Five more piles to go and I'll be done.

 

Work is more fun then watching Reed felching Greg...

 

This forum needs an enema!



Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: November 29 2004 at 18:33
Originally posted by danbo danbo wrote:

Holy Shiite, Batman.... I can see my desk! I actually cleared a pile of paperwork and notice the beautiful fake oak lamenent underneath. Five more piles to go and I'll be done.

 

Work is more fun then Reed felching Greg...

 

This forum needs an enema!

Yes,he's called Dallas Bryan!



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Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: November 29 2004 at 18:36
Tha's not an enema... more of a butt plug.


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 02 2004 at 18:42

A great job for Gdub or Linda:

Wink



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Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 02 2004 at 19:03

Possibly the best job in the world...................



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Posted By: James Lee
Date Posted: December 02 2004 at 19:46
so who's paying who?

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http://www.last.fm/user/sollipsist/?chartstyle=kaonashi">


Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: December 15 2004 at 11:25

 

 

 

This is my office window.... thanks to Mr. Dean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's my desk.... in four months, I promise to have it cleaned off.

 



Posted By: Arioch
Date Posted: December 15 2004 at 13:37

Darn it Reed Lover....I can't see those picks you posted.



-------------
Knight of the Swords
Lord of Entropy
Duke of Chaos


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 15 2004 at 13:53
Originally posted by Arioch Arioch wrote:

Darn it Reed Lover....I can't see those picks you posted.

Me neither...Confused



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Posted By: Certif1ed
Date Posted: December 15 2004 at 13:57

I see them...

Holy shiite, RL - your desk is more untidy than mine, and I've got 5 computers on, under and around it!



Posted By: K00l Prog Guruz
Date Posted: December 15 2004 at 14:04


Ok, Once when I was moeing the grass for a familly friend (Mr.SMith (not from Matrix LOL)) ANyway I tripped and felll and Guese what, I CUT THE LAWNMOWER WIRE WITH THE LAWNMOWER! LMAO!

 

 



-------------
"The world is in your hands, now use it." Good'ol Phil


Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 15 2004 at 14:04
Originally posted by Certif1ed Certif1ed wrote:

I see them...

Holy shiite, RL - your desk is more untidy than mine, and I've got 5 computers on, under and around it!

Blind old Cert,that's Danbo's image not mine!

Dan's eyesight must be bad or I've had too many lagersLOL

either that or I'm pregnantLOL



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