How to deal with difficult members on here
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Printed Date: November 26 2024 at 04:49
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Topic: How to deal with difficult members on here
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Subject: How to deal with difficult members on here
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 10:45
| What I would like to know is if someone is being less than polite or respectful on here what is the best way to deal with it? I don't like the idea of these threads derailing and turning into personal attacks but at the same time it might not be necessary to just contact the moderators everytime someone is disrespectful. I guess the easy answer would be to just ignore them but then that could sort of be seen as giving them a free pass. Any ideas that might be helpful are appreciated. |
Replies:
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 10:54
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Under Post Options select "Report Post" and let an administrator take care of it. ------------- 
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:32
That seems like a last resort to me where I would have to explain why I was reporting the person and it would probably have to be something pretty extreme to do that. I was looking for an alternative to this.
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rushfan4 wrote:Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:34
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There's nothing extreme about it. That is what the function is for. Otherwise, either ignore them. Or match their a****le-ness and risk getting yourself banned. -------------
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:40
Ha ha. Well, it's pretty difficult to get banned on here. You have to spam to have that happen it seems. Let me ask you this then since you are the only one responding here so far. How do you deal with inappproprate remarks? Do you shrug it off, insult them back, just ignore it or report them? I know it might depend on the situation but on average how do you typically deal with it? Just wondering. Also, if you follow the posts on here and see the latest postings from myself then it should be apparent what post caused me to write this.
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Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:56
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It depends on my mood. I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment. But I have no problem reporting posts. When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities. -------------
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:14
Previous life as in on here under a different user name?
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Posted By: Psychedelic Paul
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:19
I was a forum monitor and site administrator too in a previous life when I used to run a music site (You Tube Episodes & Music), but I never felt the need to suspend anyone's account in the space of two and a half years, so I guess I must be easy-going by nature, and I've never come across any difficult members here either.
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:43
It's rare but it does happen. Every once in a while I come across someone with a bug up their butt. It's often the same person.
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Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:45
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Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 13:06
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Walk softly and carry a big stick. Or a sock filled with horse manure. ------------- "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy |
Posted By: Catcher10
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 13:36
I agree with Scott........best procedure, plus the Admins make like US$250K a year so they need to work sometimes....sheesh  -------------   
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 13:44
If they make that much money I'm sure it's not from being an admin on here.
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Posted By: Logan
Date Posted: December 06 2020 at 16:48
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It depends on you and the particular situation. We rarely "deal with" members unless we have orders for organs. Organ harvesting can be lucrative, but there isn't a huge demand for Hammonds these days, which more Proggers seems to acquire (actually, we are not out to get the member's members or internal organs and actually not many Proggers have Hammonds. Seriously, of course this is voluntary and we get no remuneration). If not formally reporting for abuse -- if one is then one should specifically mention the infraction per the site rules and guidelines and offer links -- I often like to PM the person to share my concerns. When I have responded in the heat of the moment by PM or in the forum without putting much thought into it, then often I have regretted it. I think calling someone out who is clearly deliberately being obnoxious or abusive is fine, just try not to break the rules when doing it, and it is good to wait until one is calm and collected. Sometimes ignoring works best. Sometimes one may be misreading another or missing a joke and a more charitable outlook, and inquisitive approach, is warranted. I like as much as possible that the forum can moderate itself, and as much as possible to deal with things oneself, but in a reasonable and thoughtful manner rather than taking the law into one's own hands and meting out justice Reprisalizer style. By the way, I'm rarely around these days. I can't think straight at all (serious cognitive impairment), so if this is not at all helpful, blame it on my brain. ------------- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcp9fYc6K4IKuxIZkenfvukL_Y8VBqzK" rel="nofollow - Duos for fave acts |
Posted By: ExittheLemming
Date Posted: December 07 2020 at 23:38
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Disclaimer: I should have been banned countless times and was once (right at the outset when I was deemed to have been disrespectful to an Admin - TonyR. I have Finnforest (Jim) to thank for being reinstated so I owe him big time or: he has a lot to answer for ) He hasn't been around for a while so I hope he's safe and well. I was also an admin for about 2 years after that. That said, it strikes me that the place has become so moribund over the last 12 months or so that without the trolls, spammers, snowflakes, sock puppets, bewildered hippies and terminally needy there wouldn't be anyone left to actually ban. It stands to reason that behaviour inimical to the aims of the site if left unchallenged is unlikely to change so can run the risk of becoming normalised over time. I also think that a polemical writing style like erm...mine, is conflated with trolling but this is just symptomatic of a lazy association of ideas so pervasive with netiquette. How to deal with difficult people? Confrontation without aggression is the key and a very,very hard art to master. Kudos to the moderators and admins everywhere who try to strike this elusive balance. ------------- 
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Posted By: Catcher10
Date Posted: December 08 2020 at 09:08
Just checking, by "moribund" you mean dead right?? -------------
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Posted By: SteveG
Date Posted: December 08 2020 at 09:16
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^ Not deceased, but close. Dying. ------------- This message was brought to you by a proud supporter of the Deep State. |
Posted By: Catcher10
Date Posted: December 08 2020 at 10:12
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Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: December 09 2020 at 16:06
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If we could upgrade the forum to upload odors, I would send one of my farts to the difficult member and then I would run into another topic somewhere else in the forum and hide behind a couch or something and giggle. Behaving like an adult isn't one of my best qualities. ------------- ---------- i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag that's a happy bag of lettuce this car smells like cartilage nothing beats a good video about fractions |
Posted By: Shadowyzard
Date Posted: December 09 2020 at 16:15
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Posted By: The Anders
Date Posted: December 09 2020 at 16:34
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I have only been here in a couple of years, but it's my overall impression is that there is less cruelty and unpleasant commentary than on several other sites I have been part of. Most of what I read is civilized. |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 12 2020 at 11:46
| Ok, it happened again. I finally decided to report this guy this time. I sincerely hope the mods take care of it. Apparently it's not just me he's done it too. The guy is a real troll imo. |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 12 2020 at 11:55
Yes, I would say 99.5 percent of the members on here are civilized but there are always going to be a few bad apples.
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 09:13
| Since the last incident where I reported the guy I have had no issues with him and he has not responded to anything I have said. That's good. Hopefully this person has learned a lesson and won't do it with anyone else either. |
Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 09:41
Hi, My bigger concern is when an "Admin" is involved and he also abuses the privilege and the situation, and when the post is "reported" he ends up seeing it and deletes the answers ... or equivalent. While recently things have been, for me anyway, very civil and polite, in the past one of the tough issues is the lack of communication with the "Admin" and a decision made on ... nothing ... that really mattered and completely ignored the thread and its continuation, when it was obvious that the combat had started earlier ... and not by the person that ends up punished! I do not wish to demean the position any at all ... it is a fair and valid position ... but it is my thought that some of the folks that are "there" are not good candidates for the position, specially considering how they continually post and vote for the same bands and songs, and more often than not spend their time "showing" how the person is "wrong" ... when (very specifically) history is not about right or wrong ... history was what it was and many of us saw different things. Thus, the position would require a better understanding of most threads and posts, and a position that appreciates all of the posts, even if they are not about my "favorite" ... I'm not a ______ fan, but while I joke about it, I do not exactly put it down, since his history in music is not something to frown on ... we may think that it is this or that ... so what ... was Ozzie any different ... ohh yes, a cape, make up and a bat! Give it a break! ------------- Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told! www.pedrosena.com |
Posted By: A Crimson Mellotron
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 09:46
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Just report him, this is the best advice I can give you. This is how it works online. |
Posted By: Logan
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 10:05
Could you please give me specifics so I know exactly which situations and people you are referring to? If not about me specifically, then I would rather a PM, but I don't like insinuations or to see defamation of character. I don't want to make the wrong inferences and avoid insinuation. If you have a problem with any of the admin, consider PMing any of the admin, there are only three currently active (me, Keishiro and Tapfret) -- although please try to be succinct and direct with specific examples and links cause otherwise it can get confusing.... We often deal with a lot of stuff. so it helps to write formally in such situations (instead of being vague). It's best for us not to infer what the complaints are in these situations or risk over-generalising. We will try to give complaints and advice serious consideration. I deal with a lot of issues at PA via PM and then we can address specifics. We are volunteers and we are fallible, but having a team helps to get more perspectives. I know I've made mistakes,been heavy-handed at times and too lax at others and drawn the wrong conclusions, and have apologised for such things in the past. We all have our off days, some more than others. Humility, kindness, good-listening and patience is something that we all need to practice now and then (I mean people generally). If you are referring to something I did, I won't be offended if you state that directly and tell me exactly what it was (and you may do so publicly, best to call me out at the time so I know the specific situation you are referring to and I can act ASAP without racking my brains and having to research). We do hide posts commonly that break forum guidelines (go against the forum rules) and posts related to those. Of course we don't read every post so a lot may get through that may have been better hidden per the way that the forums have been moderated. Some of it is borderline and open to interpretation. Like, I might take something as an innocuous joke whereas another might take it as a serious insult (misinterpretation of intent can be easy). PMing admin about any issues that come up can be a good approach, and there is something to be said for not airing one's dirty laundry in public or making insinuations which might be misconstrued. By the way, I don't get the reports through the report post function so if trying to contact me the best way is via PM (that said, I don't log-in every day). When I have had issues with members I have often found that PMing them can help. Sometimes it does come down to a misunderstanding, and in some cases people really are just plain rude or irrational and there is no trying to communicate with them. Sometimes warnings are in order, and sometimes suspension if behavior continues and warnings if advice is unheeded. ------------- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcp9fYc6K4IKuxIZkenfvukL_Y8VBqzK" rel="nofollow - Duos for fave acts |
Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 10:28
Hi, Nope ... of all folks you are one of the finest I have ever been associated with, including your love and appreciation for films, and the probably the only one that won't make snide remarks about my comparing film, theater and music in the 60's, 70's and such ... But, it is in the past and water under the bridge and long gone to the ocean of eternity ... but I thank you for your concern and beauty.
------------- Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told! www.pedrosena.com |
Posted By: nick_h_nz
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 10:28
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I often think a lot of the misunderstandings are down to language. There are several times when I’ve seen someone react to someone else because they thought someone was being rude, when I think it was more because English was not the native language of either the original poster, and/or the one who reacted. I also think it’s important to remember that in general offence is taken, rather than given. It’s very rare that I’ve seen, that someone has been deliberately offensive - and when it’s been deliberate, it’s been so obvious and overt as to be unmistakeable. Most of the time, though, I think several people I have witnessed have taken offence where none was intended. ------------- https://tinyurl.com/nickhnz-tpa" rel="nofollow - Reviewer for The Progressive Aspect |
Posted By: siLLy puPPy
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 10:44
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My advice is call them every offensive name you can conjure up, get banned from the site and then you won't have to worry about it any longer! Problem solved  (in case it's not obvious, i'm totally kidding of course!) -------------  https://rateyourmusic.com/~siLLy_puPPy |
Posted By: Logan
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 11:25
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^^ Thanks Pedro, I love that we both share a love of film, and I really do get a lot out of what you write. Some people seem to have very short attention spans and some just don't connect the dots like others do and make the same associations. ^^ I seem to agree with you Nick on most everything you post (it wont work reversely cause I post a lot of crap that I don't even agree with and will see if some of it sticks) -- I tried to respond to one of your posts yesterday, spent over an hour writing it and then felt it wasn't good enough so I didn't post it. With three more hours I could have edited it into something cohesive and of value. Some writers say, don't worry about the first draft, nobody reads it, it comes together better on subsequent ones, but when posting most of us are reading people's first drafts (and only draft except if one is here a long time then one tends to repeat oneself again and again, not in quite the same words, but the song remains the same). Language is surely an issue, and cultural differences, I think to an extent. And experiences. I might be referencing something in my post that another does not get. I use a lot of plays-on-words on my good days, and I don't usually point them out, and another might well miss the humorous intent. I also come from a place where it is common to rib each other. It's playful rather than mean-spirited. We make fun of ourselves and our friends at times. A good friend will understand that and play along. And it comes down to individual personality, if one is distracted, if one is stressed, and if people aren't making the same associations. I've had many native English speakers totally misunderstand my intent. Many with English as a second language here I have found to be the most grokful (I love Stranger in a Strange Land) and nuanced of thinkers. It's the nuance, as well as plays on words, that can be hard for those not fluent in the language. Sometimes for all it's just plain careless reading, or not thinking it through before writing it down. Often that which one thinks is obvious and implied is totally missed, and instead it is thought that one is "saying" (writing more properly) something very different with very different intent. And sometimes people really are very loose with what they think others are saying and come to strange conclusions and very odd inferences (just miss the point completely). We're not mind-readers, and we all can miss the other's point and intent. One should be careful with assumptions and if in doubt, maybe read it through a few times and try to think about it from different angles (then see which approach makes the most sense). That can be fun as it becomes like an intellectual game. I like it when we can all be there for each other to try to clear up any potential misconceptions (PMs are for one-on-one conversations at the forum, the rest acts as group discussion where anyone can join in on a conversation if they have something relevant to say), to offer different interpretations and perspectives. My thing commonly is that if what the other writes generally seems totally illogical or obviously wrong, I'm probably just not being sensible enough when it comes to figuring out what they that person is trying to convey (maybe not making the right associations) so I won't quickly assume that what they are writing comes from a fault in their thinking or a misinterpretation. So try to put in the strongest form possible that makes the most sense. Often people miss out on the context, and that is often because they haven't read carefully enough through that post or by reading through a thread to see how it links to what others have been saying. As my wife often tells me, think it through first before you speak, then consider not speaking at all. ;) I think the answer to having genuinely good conversation (dialectic) is having more and more conversation, and going deeper. With patience and a little effort at trying to understand rather than quickly drawing assumptions and shooting from the hip, that can really help. We have had members who were very thoughtless and obviously cared not about offending others through or being negative about others. Often offence is taken when none is intended, and too often people have been just plain surly and sarcastic, and seem to lack any empathy. Cultivating a sense of empathy and showing compassion is often a very important thing for me, and showing that we are actively interested and trying to be engaged with others. You often can tell when people are not really listening or paying attention or taking the time to read through a topic before responding. This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. Misunderstandings can lead to a lot of offence. I think we all want to feel like we're understood, like people are getting us, and when people feel that they are not being understood, they might lash out in anger due to the frustration or evoke the unholy face palm (worse than any Alien face hugger). We have to recognise that we all have different psyches and means of expression, lived experiences, and sometimes people are going through really hard times and that is reflected in the posts. I think one should try to be charitable in interpretation, and to steelman each other's ideas as much as possible rather than strawman when debating serious issues (that leads to stronger arguments and seems a better way to seek truth to me). One does need a thick-skin, and even genuine insults can have their place. ^ That works. In at least once case I think that was someone's genuine strategy. By the way, for me there used to be nothing more fun than not only watching but participating in flame wars, but for me it was all in fun. Others took it much more seriously. Sorry, this is very long winded and all over the place and definitely could do with serval more drafts. And I actually don't expect people to read through when I ramble. I'm not a sadist. For some with English as a second language, even though I keep my word choice quite simple, it would be a nightmare to try to read and understand (I can be very incoherent when not formally writing). ------------- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcp9fYc6K4IKuxIZkenfvukL_Y8VBqzK" rel="nofollow - Duos for fave acts |
Posted By: dougmcauliffe
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 11:53
Just drop the word "boomer," it'll instantly start a flame war ------------- The sun has left the sky... ...Now you can close your eyes |
Posted By: Shadowyzard
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 12:03
| There are difficult members in virtually every forum; deal with it (rather/more than dealing with them). |
Posted By: Logan
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 12:42
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^^ Good point, one should avoid using the word boomer. Even though it's part of Gen Z or A meme culture, and is meant in humour mostly, some don't get it and see it as discourteous and ageist so please report it if you see it being used and we will ban said individual. ;) Seriously, avoid calling people boomers. Ageism is against the forum rules, and that it can easily be taken the wrong (or right) way is a good reason to avoid it. It may mean something different to different generations. Clarity should be a motto (at least I try to tell myself to be more clear). Speaking of language issues, youth language vs. older peoples language. In my day gay just meant jolly, and ISIS was just an atmospheric post-metal band (sorry, that is in very bad taste). ^ The just deal with it rather than or more than dealing with them is generally good advice. In some cases we will expect one to reform or leave. But even generally agreeable people have bad days. Those not so agreeable people can bring out the worst in others. The people who are negative about other people's negativity, those who will readily complain about others being unpleasant, are often the most difficult for me (I mean, they might actually expect me to, you know like do stuff about perceived sleights and genuine abuse). Some are much more sensitive than others. But then I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with it. In many cases it really is "your problem" more than the person you are having a problem with. I'm always in two or three minds about such things -- one coming from the touchy feely delicate "snowflake" side and the other from my rougher, no-nonsense and slightly evil side and the other from general "Why give a phut?" side and no point complaining about it. While one shouldn't whine about it, and its important to try to take things in their side and not be overly sensitive, I'm not minimising the genuine distress some genuinely feel. Just don't expect sympathy. Lots of us have offended someone along the way, and I'd posit that most anyone who has anything interesting to say will have even if it's just willing to discuss controversial and uncomfortable issues rather than being an arrogant jerk. Perhaps "Thou shalt suffer no fool gladly" could be a forum edict (that would be most of us gone). I'm kidding, by the way. Probably not "If in doubt, kick them in the nads." ------------- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcp9fYc6K4IKuxIZkenfvukL_Y8VBqzK" rel="nofollow - Duos for fave acts |
Posted By: Catcher10
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 13:02
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Strung up, tarred and feathered then pummeled to death using Twinkies........ -------------
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Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 16:45
I'd say that the word "boomer " (of which I don't consider myself of, since I am a tad too young to be part of) was ok for 95% of the public until the Febr Spring Break and those Fort lauderdale student parties named "boomer remover" at the start of the pandemic. I am rarely shocked (more often annoyed) but that one really irked me as a total lack of respect. Sooo when DMcA used it (boomer), I kind of blew a fuse. other than that I'd be happy to qualify as a booming curmudgeon or a curmudgeing boomer.  ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: kenethlevine
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 18:05
| Hugues, I've met you and hereby proclaim you as an honorary boomer with the right to take offense when others minimize and dismiss us by just referring to us as members of a maligned group which somehow explains away all our opinions and actions in their simplistic arguments. We must reclaim that word! |
Posted By: dougmcauliffe
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 18:11
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See, flame war ^ told you
------------- The sun has left the sky... ...Now you can close your eyes |
Posted By: siLLy puPPy
Date Posted: December 30 2020 at 18:30
I can do better than that! I found the soundtrack for boomers. Here it is! ------------- https://rateyourmusic.com/~siLLy_puPPy |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 13:56
| The troll is at it again. |
Posted By: Easy Money
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 14:00
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 14:03
Absolutely.
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Posted By: nick_h_nz
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 14:15
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Does the member’s name begin with R? (Not that I find that person a troll, but I’ve noticed you react to that member’s posts previously.) ------------- https://tinyurl.com/nickhnz-tpa" rel="nofollow - Reviewer for The Progressive Aspect |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 14:19
Maybe.
Not everyone will agree on who is a troll and who isn't. Go to the latest thread I started and you'll see the latest. The thing is no one else seems to have a problem with my posts or threads except this guy. |
Posted By: nick_h_nz
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 14:24
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“Move out of your parent's place and get a life. If you feel the need to start threads on this site, make sure they'll generally interesting and relevant. Otherwise, expect negativity, Giggles.” Oh. Wow. Yeah, I’ve not seen that level of negativity before. ------------- https://tinyurl.com/nickhnz-tpa" rel="nofollow - Reviewer for The Progressive Aspect |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 14:27
The guy takes it to a whole new level.
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Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 15:38
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"You've turned a little TV show I did as a lark thirty years ago into a colossal waste of time". -- William Shatner ------------- "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 15:46
Ironic because if anything most of those spoken word albums are a colossal waste of time.
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Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 15:52
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Yes but those were a joke-- the Trekkies are serious. ------------- "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 15:56
Yes, dressing up as klingons and Spock is taking it a bit too seriously but the star wars fans do the same thing so maybe it's just a problem with science fiction fans in general.
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Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 15:57
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It is. I own several Han Solo jackets. Oddly I'm still single. ------------- "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy |
Posted By: Psychedelic Paul
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 16:07
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Who can forget Leonard Nimoy's Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, where everyone has pointy ears apart from Mr Spock. |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 16:08
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 16:43
| Anyway, as far as I'm concerned the guy is a coward. I sent him a private message and he didn't reply. He obviously needs an audience. |
Posted By: Easy Money
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 17:36
| Wow, yeah he is just straight up jerk for no reason. I guess I never noticed him much before. |
Posted By: dougmcauliffe
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 17:40
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Man, what kind of person sees people having friendly discourse in a harmless music thread and starts malding at their keyboard on a mission to tear it down for everyone? ------------- The sun has left the sky... ...Now you can close your eyes |
Posted By: Nogbad_The_Bad
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 18:22
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Ok i clearly missed the excitement ------------- Ian Host of the Post-Avant Jazzcore Happy Hour on Progrock.com https://podcasts.progrock.com/post-avant-jazzcore-happy-hour/ |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 04 2021 at 19:12
A troll. That's who.
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Posted By: DamoXt7942
Date Posted: February 05 2021 at 01:58
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Please cool yourself down and leave self-unmanageable guys alone. That's all. ------------- http://www.facebook.com/damoxt7942" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 05 2021 at 13:56
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpiVm8eilXU
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 05 2021 at 14:00
You spend a lot of time on PE so this kind of thing is probably not foreign to you.
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 20 2021 at 09:38
| What I want to know is what if the moderators act like trolls? Yes, that has happened on here believe me. |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: February 20 2021 at 09:44
If he would also appear with Dwarves, he would be the only one without a beard. ------------- 
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Posted By: Psychedelic Paul
Date Posted: February 20 2021 at 10:20
In the same way as Frank Beard of ZZ Top is the only member without a beard.
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Posted By: Logan
Date Posted: February 20 2021 at 11:16
We are all beholden to the rules. If you believe that you see abuse, please use the report post button: cite the infraction, provide context, and provide a link*. I am not receiving those reports, alternately PM the mods or admin, and as I mentioned I think often PMing the person to try to discuss it with them and alert them can help if done without anger or malice, but in a reasonable, calm way. That's a considerate approach. It maybe due to misunderstanding, it may be due to the other expressing themselves badly or having a bad day. It may not be deliberately malicious. I think "try to be considerate is something to be wished for all, and try to listen to others and talk things out rationally with them. here are the Site Rules and Guidelines: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13083" rel="nofollow - http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13083 Note that "Use the report button which appears in every post to notify the admin of any breach of the site’s rules which you notice" is in bold. * Edit: Sorry I misspoke, if reporting a post using the report post function, I don't think one need provide a link as that does it automatically. If PMing concerns, then a hyperlink to the offending post makes things easier. And commonly it is better not to quote that post if violating the rules (may in various cases be better not to respond to it and just report it) because the post may be hidden by us, and that likely would then mean having to hide your post and response as well. We do suggest non-engagement often with the individual, and instead just report (with the button or via PM, and then we will take action immediately and/or investigate further -- sometimes intent has to be determined and considered more and one can view/ interpret something from different perspectives depending on how one views the context. For instance, sometimes jokes are misinterpreted, or sometimes someone was unclear, and sometimes someone just read into another something that was not intended. Some cases of abuse are much more obvious than others, of course). If there is a problem, then it is best to report it formally with specifics, and of course one should be careful when it comes to insinuation. ------------- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcp9fYc6K4IKuxIZkenfvukL_Y8VBqzK" rel="nofollow - Duos for fave acts |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 20 2021 at 17:01
| ^Ok, thanks. I'll keep all that in mind. Sometimes it's maybe not outright abuse but instead more like "look, what I can do and get away with because I'm a moderator and you aren't" so it's borderline abuse maybe. Calling the members on here "kiddies" would be an example. I forgot which moderator said that but it was condescending and unnecessary. |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: February 21 2021 at 14:28
Exactly  -------------
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Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: February 21 2021 at 23:04
| ^Actually Frank Beard did eventually grow a beard a few years ago. It's nothing compared to his bandmates' beards but it was still technically a beard. :) |
Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: February 22 2021 at 15:48
Hi, (I had to re-read the whole thread first to make sure I was not repeating myself) Yes, no and maybe, in the way I see it ... English is my 3rd language (Portuguese first, French 6 years in school) and it was hell to learn ... I did not know a word until the day we arrived at Kennedy Airport in NY, and then it took me 12 years to get comfortable enough to be able to do SB City College and then was lucky enough to get accepted at UCSB. That said, what bothers me more about some things said, and "not replied to" are the posts where the person making a one word comment ... is making it pretty obvious that he/she did not even bother to read it ... which is the same thing as saying that the post could not possibly have any value and comments. Or some folks showing their idea of "_rump'isms" ... in lieu of being a valued member of the subject, or conversation. And, yeah, I'm guilty ... one set of posts, the OP finally posted, that he did not think or imagine that what he was asking was that deep or that intense ... and sometimes, the questions are a bit on what some of us might consider naïve ... though I try to help if I can. The worse part is people thinking that they can read the "emotions" via the email or the post and its situation ... none of us are practicing clairvoyants or psychics, and they would be the first ones to tell you that what shows up on these is but a small part of the whole thing, assuming the person that asked, had a strong conceptual idea for his question ... but social media doesn't care ... more value is given to the ugly and poor one line comments, than the substance of the discussion/matter ... and that is sad for me, on a conceptual level ... the very music we love, was created by a larger idea/concept that is very difficult for any of us to define ... and yet ... the very thing that brought that music alive, is the part that some of us trash ... to me it defines the difference between a "progressive" listener and just another "fan" out there ... sort of like some posts asking for music that sounds like ... can you imagine ... sounding like Mozart, Beethoven, Stravinsky again? Many have tried ... and they were mostly ignored! Language, is a set of "invisible" ideas about what a word means ... what is it, something like the eskimo language that has how many words for "snow"? I think of many posts the same way here and try to help if I can ... but I find it dis-heartening when someone dismisses it automatically, in one word ... like ... "sigh" ... and none of us thinking that this person did not even bother reading anything ... but we're at a time, when "reading" even in college and university is at its lowest ebb ... in the 80's we had to read 6-8K for a class ... in one quarter ... and you had at least one or two other classes to worry about ... and sometimes, when reading a lot of these, and I tend to be more diligent about any thread and read all of it before replying, and you can see that in the Film posts ... but doing the same thing in the "progressive" sections, would have several folks reply in an unnecessary way ... that as a "Admin" I would make note of it ... and if the person only did that to three or four other members ... I'm not sure I want to say that such a person belongs in this board! At that point it is not about language ... it's about something else! ------------- Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told! www.pedrosena.com |