A 10-yr old reviews ELP
Printed From: Progarchives.com
Category: Progressive Music Lounges
Forum Name: Prog Bands, Artists and Genres Appreciation
Forum Description: Discuss specific prog bands and their members or a specific sub-genre
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=114354
Printed Date: December 02 2024 at 00:37
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Topic: A 10-yr old reviews ELP
Posted By: wiz_d_kidd
Subject: A 10-yr old reviews ELP
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 06:14
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Daniel Bukszpan of "The Z-Review" asked his 10 year old son to review the eponymous Emerson Lake and Palmer album. Here are the hilarious results... (the full article can be found here: https://thezreview.com/2018/04/02/my-10-year-old-reviews-prog-rock-records-emerson-lake-palmer/" rel="nofollow - https://thezreview.com/2018/04/02/my-10-year-old-reviews-prog-rock-records-emerson-lake-palmer/ ). TZR: What does this music remind you of? RB: It reminds me of how boring My Dinner With André was. TZR: What do you think about the fact that this band was once as popular as Taylor Swift is today? RB: When you say that, I think that’s a lie, but it’s not, so that’s just crazy. How were they even popular? That’s crazy. How were they popular? It’s horrible. That music is horrible. TZR: If you had to give this album a name, what would it be? RB: Our Songs Are Bad and We’re Terrible at Singing, or Crappy Songs Galore. TZR: Would you be interested in learning how to play this music? RB: No, because it’s completely crappy and no one should ever listen to it. TZR: If you were on a desert island with this record and nothing else, what would you do? RB: I would probably throw it into the ocean and pee all over it. That’s how much I hate it. |
Replies:
Posted By: Mascodagama
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 06:18
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Shame it's not 1976. The kid would have got a job at the NME, no problem.
------------- Soldato of the Pan Head Mafia. We'll make you an offer you can't listen to. http://bandcamp.com/jpillbox" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp Profile |
Posted By: lostrom
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 06:34
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Fortunately, it's not music for a 10 year old jerk - never has been, never will be. ------------- lostrom |
Posted By: Mascodagama
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 06:49
Seriously, you're losing your sense of humour over a kid's review? ------------- Soldato of the Pan Head Mafia. We'll make you an offer you can't listen to. http://bandcamp.com/jpillbox" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp Profile |
lostrom wrote:Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 07:49
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You should have asked me when I was 10; I would have answered "It's quite cool, but ELP are very mainstream. Can I play you some Henry Cow or Faust"? -------------  BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: wiz_d_kidd
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 07:57
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It was meant to be humorous. And for the record, I don't agree with the youngster's review. I like most of the album, except for "Take a Pebble". Maybe the lad thought the title was "Take a Piddle"? |
Posted By: wiz_d_kidd
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:00
When you were 10, you'd have to review an album that was release 48 years prior, which is what the kid was asked to do. Dunno about you, but that would be asking me to review an album from 1928! |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:08
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Let me see: That would be 1939, so maybe an Otto Klemperer recording with the Philadelphia Orchestra. I must admit I would have to be counted out there. But not Jean; she listened to this kind of stuff since she was 6 and started playing piano. She might have told you: "The conductor is taking the tempo way too slow". Of course I am talking about a radio performance here; Klemperer was not recorded before 1959. ------------- BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: Barbu
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:37
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We're surrounded by f**king geniuses! ------------- |
Posted By: Argos
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:43
Take a Pebble is my favourite of that album. I just absolutely love what Emerson does with the piano and organ all over the track. Quite the opposite tastes we have. ------------- "All the iron turned to rust; All the proud men turned to dust And so all things, time will mend So this song will end" |
Posted By: Argos
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:45
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At 10 years old I don't even remember if I listened to any music, let alone prog. At least the little fellow knows his own preferences. ------------- "All the iron turned to rust; All the proud men turned to dust And so all things, time will mend So this song will end" |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:50
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His comments are explicit and quite funny. The lad cannot be blamed for undergoing a bad upbringing. This is what is dad writes about the album: through all 41 minutes of it in a row without the aid of hard drugs."  ------------- 
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Posted By: BaldJean
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 08:51
I just happen to have perfect pitch. It is a rare gift, but you don't need to be a genius for that. -------------  A shot of me as High Priestess of Gaia during our fall festival. Ceterum censeo principiis obsta |
Posted By: Barbu
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 09:02
 ------------- |
Posted By: SteveG
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 09:19
The kid makes sense. I never cared for ELP's debut and Lucky Man always put me to sleep.  ------------- This message was brought to you by a proud supporter of the Deep State. |
Posted By: moshkito
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 09:29
More and more, what you are seeing and reading is some form of history by folks that "were there", which is a bit different than the silly/bad comments by a 10 yr old, which, of course, was an April Fools' jokes that is as funny as a brick hitting you in the head and falling off into the deep ocean! Hooray for SNL and some really bad/stupid jokes that are not even funny! Surrealistic maybe, but not funny! Unfortunately, that was likely written by someone that really has no knowledge whatsoever about music, and has never sat down and played it in the first place. Besides, they are brain-washed by that pulsing rap beating, to even know what music is really all about ... I would probably lock up my kid listening to 10 different things 3 times a day for 10 days ... and if at the end of that they still say the stupid things they did, then I will reconsider! But, I doubt it ... I've seen this done, even with autistic kids (UCSB study in the 80's), and the results were totally different than we thought, considered, or even projected ... the joke was on us! I do not, write about my ideas, since they would drive some folks totally nuts here, specially with my experience in improvisation, that too many musicians dislike, but I have had success with them in music before, and hopefully will again. In theater/film it's not an issue, since most actors are always looking for that little bit "extra" to add to their characters, and thus something like an improvisation could help loosen up some bits and pieces and ends. Music, however, in the time of the DAW, has gotten so rigid, and so many folks tied up to its cardboard perfection, that they do not understand or care to find out what another side, or point of view is all about.  You see, in my book, it's about brain-washing for the good of the great commercial top ten in the sky, so they get the sale and you pay for it. The rest, prog or bunnyhop, will always be considered bad, trash, and made fun of in a lot of articles. Maybe it's time people start making fun of TS and KP, or KK ... and see what happens ... we would be interfering with their millions collection, just like someone else trumped up others!------------- Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told! www.pedrosena.com |
Posted By: ForestFriend
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 09:30
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In all fairness, when I was his age I thought The Wall was a pretty boring album except for that We Don't Need No Education song. I would've rather listened to Eminem or Good Charlotte. ------------- https://borealkinship.bandcamp.com/releases" rel="nofollow - My prog band - Boreal Kinship |
Posted By: Frenetic Zetetic
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 09:45
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This is hilarious, lmao. ------------- "I am so prog, I listen to concept albums on shuffle." -KMac2021 |
Posted By: Lewian
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 10:44
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The kid's review is OK to read, not the peak of fun but somewhere in there. I certainly don't mind it. I like that album but there's nothing wrong with a reasonably musically interested 10-years-old speaking his mind - surely nobody has to like it and I'm fine with him saying in some strong words that he doesn't. What I really don't like about it is that the guy who wrote the article obviously uses his son to tell his own opinion, trying to make it look more innocent and probably even truer. For an adult music critic that's really poor. He doesn't have to love the album but apparently doesn't have more to say about it than his son. Which shows that he is in the wrong job really. |
Posted By: dr wu23
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 11:29
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It does sound like a lame April Fools joke...and if not then him and his kid are effing idiots....but then opinions are like a****les....everyone has one. ;)
------------- One does nothing yet nothing is left undone. Haquin |
Posted By: Larkstongue41
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 11:48
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A ten year old who compares ELP to My Dinner with Andre and uses the word "galore"? I call bullsh*t. ------------- "Larks' tongues. Wrens' livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar." |
Posted By: doompaul
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 11:58
| When I was 10 I was busy eating lead paint chips. |
Posted By: verslibre
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 17:08
Hahaha! ------------- https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_ipg=50&_sop=1&_rdc=1&_ssn=musicosm" rel="nofollow - eBay |
Posted By: The Dark Elf
Date Posted: April 03 2018 at 17:34
No 10 year-old kid in the history of cinema has sat through a viewing of My Dinner with Andre', let alone would mention a 1981 film consisting of all dialogue and utterly no action in a normal conversation. This is just the writer being a snarky assh*le. ------------- ...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology... |
Posted By: M27Barney
Date Posted: April 04 2018 at 05:05
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Aye - I had to look up "My Dinner with Andre" - I thought it was some esoteric jazz album or something. - I certainly would not have watched said film (or similar types of film) at 10. I too think this is projection. I think I was into "The Sweet" when I was 10.....and "Queen" sort of..... ------------- Play me my song.....Here it comes again....... |
Posted By: Aussie-Byrd-Brother
Date Posted: April 04 2018 at 05:12
Pretty sure my entire life at ten years old solely revolved around Optimus Prime... 
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Posted By: SteveG
Date Posted: April 04 2018 at 06:40
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Posted By: Jeffro
Date Posted: April 04 2018 at 08:37
Mine was probably baseball cards, plastic army men and my Big Wheel ------------- We all dwell in an amber subdomain, amber subdomain, amber subdomain. My face IS a maserati |
Posted By: Jeffro
Date Posted: April 04 2018 at 08:38
Careful. She'll turn you into a newt ------------- We all dwell in an amber subdomain, amber subdomain, amber subdomain. My face IS a maserati |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: April 05 2018 at 11:45
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When I was 10 I was spinning this exact album along with Yessongs, A Passion Play, Bizarre Records' Zapped compilation, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. These albums were not yet as old as I was. Nor had My Dinner with Andre been released. Right about that time I was just discovering music my dad didn't like such as Devo and Black Sabbath. I appreciate stuff from the 1930's now, but probably had a similar opinion of it at the time as the writers kid. Nonetheless, the little booger eater in question is why I don't have kids. Never liked them. Even when...check that...especially when I was one. Talk about something you don't want to be stuck on a desert island with. Funny thing is I had friends whose kids that hated prog when they were that age are rediscovering it in there 20's and are way more into it than their parents ever were. ------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow">  https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: miamiscot
Date Posted: April 06 2018 at 08:13
| Kids are dumb. |
Posted By: AFlowerKingCrimson
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 05:39
Probably mine too. I love the part in the middle where it sounds like they are having a bonfire down by the beach.
 |
Posted By: january4mn
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 06:08
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The author is a jerk too, just another prog-hating journalist with a bratty kid who also has no musicality whatsoever either. And yeah, the kids comments do sound false, or changed to sound as brutal as possible. |
Posted By: Aussie-Byrd-Brother
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 06:23
Oddly, at just over forty and bumbling through a life of wasted time on unworthy people and abusive monsters, I find my life is somewhat back at this point again!  I'm constantly falling into child-like nostalgia to bring a sense of safe happy memories, it's quite pitiful really! 
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Posted By: ReactioninG
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 09:39
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When I was 10 in the 90s I was listening to classic rock and art rock. My first album was Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John at age 7. I had David Bowie's greatest hits and Talking Heads albums by 10. I didn't like what was on the radio at the time at all. Age isn't an excuse. Also think the interview is fabricated. |
Posted By: Prog-jester
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 14:02
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so much negativity in this thread, damn the kid is right tho, ELP are boring and pretentious, always been. There's no point in listening to CLASSICAL MUSIC MEETS ROCK WHOA pseudo-intellectual schtick from hippie era, when you have so much music to choose from these days |
Posted By: dr wu23
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 14:27
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^And yet your avatar stands there with a classic pseudo intellectual album that Lake was on...... ;) ------------- One does nothing yet nothing is left undone. Haquin |
Posted By: Prog-jester
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 15:03
| but there was also Fripp ;) hence we got not only snoozy w**kfest, but some actual great songs (you guessed it, I love all of them except for "Moonchild" noodling section) |
Posted By: Prog-jester
Date Posted: April 09 2018 at 15:06
and by this -
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Posted By: M27Barney
Date Posted: April 10 2018 at 05:15
My irony meter has just exploded! ------------- Play me my song.....Here it comes again....... |
Posted By: Progfan97402
Date Posted: April 10 2018 at 11:40
| I know at 10 (this would be 1982-83), I wasn't much in to music, more into video games at the time (I owned a TI-99/4a home computer where many of the games available were knockoffs of popular arcade classics like TI-Invaders a knockoff of Space Invaders, MunchMan, a knockoff of Pac-Man or Parsec, a knockoff of Defender, but actually they're all very good in their own right). I think if I heard ELP at the time I might have actually liked some of their songs, usually their more radio friendly stuff like "Lucky Man" or "From the Beginning" (although my 10 year old self would likely cringe at "Still... You Turn Me On"). I can say for sure that their debut would have been too much for my ten year old self, except for "Lucky Man" and perhaps "Knife Edge"). Tarkus probably even more so, as even to this day, I felt the title track was brilliant and side two was a bit hit and miss. I can guarantee that I would have thought King Crimson sucked to my 10 year old self, especially if I heard "Moonchild" then. My parents owned no ELP or Crimson albums so this was stuff I discovered in my later teens, by which I was much more ready for this stuff, having a much more understanding of this material than I ever had at 10. Given I was the right age to been exposed to WAY too much synth pop and hair metal in that decade (the 1980s), I couldn't stand that stuff, so it was nice whenever I heard some good, decent songs from the '60s and '70s being played on the FM rock radio dial at the time. |
Posted By: richardh
Date Posted: April 10 2018 at 12:42
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I don't remember liking music when I was 10. Probably thought it was for silly girls. I liked Thunderbirds , Action Man and not a lot else at that age. I am little surprised though that anyone finds the comments funny whether fabricated not. There are some very good put downs of ELP but this ain't one of them. |
Posted By: jayem
Date Posted: April 10 2018 at 13:57
If Daddy had the unfortunate idea of playing a great ELP moment and Mr son was anti everything >  Same with good but not great ELP > If this was "poor" ELP but the boy was anti anyway >   If this was uninspired ELP & the boy only a bit annoyed >  ------------- http://www.digger.ch/?lang=en" rel="nofollow - Support mine-clearing ! https://bandcamp.com/machinechance/?lang=en" rel="nofollow - bandcamp collection |
Posted By: Upbeat Tango Monday
Date Posted: April 10 2018 at 19:59
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When I was 10 I was into Queen and The Ramones...but I didn't care that much about music. I used to spend my sweet time with my XT monochrome computer playing Maniac Mansion and using PrintMaster. XD (It still works today. Talk about good quality). BTW, let me ask my ten year old son Spermdownthedrain what he thinks of this review: "Well, daddy, I think it's a fake review. You can't possibly expect a ten year old kid to utter a word like galore. I'd call the laddie's father a big, ugly liar." There you have it. My totally legit son doesn't trust the reviewer. ------------- Two random guys agreed to shake hands. Just Because. They felt like it, you know. It was an agreement of sorts...a random agreement. |
Posted By: Frenetic Zetetic
Date Posted: April 11 2018 at 02:24
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This thread reminds me of the time a good friend and I, at a place of business, saw a kid playing 21st Century Schizoid Man on guitar hero or whatever. After the song was over, the kid exclaimed "That was the most out of tune song I've ever heard!". It's hilarious hearing people mislabel musical terms when describing a sound that isn't familiar, lmao. ------------- "I am so prog, I listen to concept albums on shuffle." -KMac2021 |
Posted By: M27Barney
Date Posted: April 11 2018 at 04:26
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I think I've said this before, but I have two sons, the eldest likes Michael Buble and old swing crooner type music - but I think he also likes the commercial end of rock music like foreigner. He does not like ELP though. However my youngest son , likes more or less a lot of the stuff that I like - but with more liking for the more contemporary prog acts like Steven Wilson and Opeth.....He also doesn't particularly like ELP either - but he would be more sympathetic than his older sibling.... ------------- Play me my song.....Here it comes again....... |
Posted By: scruffydragon
Date Posted: June 10 2018 at 06:32
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I keep asking what I was doing when I was 10 years old, and the answer was playing with my mates on our Chopper bikes or messing around with nets in the local stream. Music was not even on my mind at that tender age. Music if I did hear it was often pieces caught on the radio or Top Of The Pops or introduced to us by our teachers. Most people do not even start to take interest seriously in music until they reach teenage years, and even then it's to be with the in crowd and their mates. Progressive music takes a much more mature mind to appreciate then pop which is where most kids started out in my day with the chart hits. Only later on do some (very lucky) people discover that the best kind of music never made the music charts let alone was made to be commercial. I wonder what the 10 year old child's opinion would be 10 or 20 years time from now. I also wonder what the results of this dubious review would of been if another album say by more recent bands like Erasure or Blondie or Madness , or modern artists like Eminem, Rihanna or Lady Gaga.
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Posted By: Quinino
Date Posted: June 10 2018 at 07:27
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At ten I listened to Silvie Vartan, Françoise Hardy, Serge Gainsbourg/Jane Birkin, Nana Mouskouri, Adamo (sorry to those I'm missing to recall) - that's what we had on the radio and I loved it. I only discovered the existence of Mick Jagger/RS much later, at around fourteen, and received the Lucky Man single as a birthday gift at fifteen. (These are the strong and solid foundations of my earliest musical education, folks, excuse me for taking your time.) |