> West
A bouncer the size of two rugby league players in a dinner jacket made from the fleece of a male African Elephant picks you up by the lapels and growls "Your name's not Dan, You're not coming in."
> Give Glasgow Kiss to Bouncer
The bouncer throws you 11 meters up into the air, where you catch an unsuspecting plover. You plummet back to earth, clutching the plover in your right hand.
The bouncer says "Ahhhh! A Liddle birdie all of my wery own. In you come - you're just in time!"
Knees all a-tremblode, you stebber stebber forward, making a mental note to stop thinking in tones used by Professor Stanley Unwin on "Ogden's Nut Gone Flake".
You enter a dark cavern;
To the far West is a huge stage, bedecked with lights, although most are off, because there is currently no band playing.
To the North is an inviting bar, with more female figures than male perched on tall barstools along its enormous length.
To the South are oak-panelled doors.
Looking up, you see a railed gallery with ornately carved balustrades and doors leading off it.
>
Edited by Certif1ed