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Plastic Man View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Guy gets drunk, and reviews ITCOTCK
    Posted: November 28 2005 at 03:45
this is the top review on the home page right now, but i thought i would post it here because it will soon no longer be visible on the front page..but ahahahahahahaha, best review ever.

KING CRIMSON "In the Court of the Crimson King"
Review (Permanent link) by Chinwag Shall We
Posted 3:36:43 AM EST, 11/28/2005

5 stars   This is how DEATH METAL was born. Essential! Just when pop music became pop, KING CRIMSON showed the world the true, brutal side of music. Many parents were afraid to bring their kids to rock concerts, as the moshing was the new fashion in the late 60's, and many who went to concerts never returned home. ROBERT FRUUP AND FRIENDS showed the stupid, filthy hippies how real MUSIC should be played. When it was trendy to sing like you are a pedophile, Greg Lake's tortured, distorted vocals full of teenage angst exploded on the late 60's music scene.

The first track, 21st Century Schizoid Man, kicks a lot of ass. Decades after true metalheads will discover this masterpiece and play even faster and heavier. Without this track, no DEATH METAL would exist today, in the same shape we know it. Forget BLACK SABBATH and LED ZEPPELIN, now this is HEAVY! This song is really cool, it has some really funny jazzy moments, I always laugh at them wehn I am stowned or drunk(like right nwo!).

The second track shows what every METAL band should sound like: diverse and unpredictival. First they explode DEATH METAL bands, and then they play the FLUTE or maybe MELLOTRON(it's the same thing, right?). OPETH and FANTOMAS would later adapt this innovative iddea by fusing the brutal and the beautiful side of musi together. This isn'y rrally DEATH METAL, but without this song, the HEACY genre wuld be boring and every song wouls doiung the same.

The third song makes the listener fall asleep. I think it was FRUUP's intention to fall asleep the listeenr. If it is your bad time, then go to bad and turn it on, but if it isn't, skip the tracxk and listen to Epitaph.

Epitaph is very emotional and depressing. Without it, OPETH and AGALLOCH would never exist, if they did, it would be in some boring METAL shape, properly. I try not to listen to this song too much, it makes me cry, so I usually just skip ot track number 5 straight after I Talk To The Wung.

The last song is a masterfecei!!!!!! It combines ROCK and maybe METAL with SYMPHONIC elements(like BACH and STUFF). This is cool and innovative! While Beatles(tupid hippys)were wasting heir time doing dtugs and Yes were w**king their instruments, KING CRMSON and ROBERT FRUUP fused HEAVINESS and SUMPHONICNESS. EMPEROR, THERION and ETC. would later adapt this idea.

IN OTHER WORDS DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME IF YOU LIKE METAL YOU MUST BUY IT IT CREATED MUSIC GOOD MUSIC IM EAN

I begin to wonder if the points of all the ancient myths are solemnly di-rected straight.. at.. meeeeeeeeee!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 03:50

Humm 21'st centure schizoid man is the only track on there that could have been remotely "heavy"

either he is obsessed with death metal or is just trying to be funny



Edited by Lindsay Lohan
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 04:04
Hahaha. LOL. That has to be the funniest review I've ever read. Is this guy serious ?????
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 04:08
i dont know. but my favorite part is "Yes were wanking their instruments". by the way, thanks whoever moved this thread, for moving it to a place where about 2 people will see it a week.
I begin to wonder if the points of all the ancient myths are solemnly di-rected straight.. at.. meeeeeeeeee!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 06:08
Mwahahaha Great review, simply one of the best!!!
I noticed it one moment ago, this guy is funny (and drunk)
That review shall not be deleted!!!
Pablo P.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 06:13
KING CRIMSON "In the Court of the Crimson King"
Review (Permanent link) by AP Russo
Posted 5:51:30 AM EST, 11/28/2005

5 stars   I found the latest review of ITCOCK by "Chinwag shall we" exhilarating... as if the greatness of this record should be measured on the impact it had on "AGALLOCH".... he he, Fripp may be really proud of this one About the "stupid, filthy hippies" (I seem to perceive a slight hint of anthagonism towards left-wing politics here, probably Emperor's fans are not exactly illuminated socialists...) that have been taught by Mr """""Fruup"""""" how to play real music, just grow up man, and listen to some more music of the same period, just like the latest Beatles and the Beach Boys (oh, I forgot, they probably taught nothing to the likes of MESHUGGATH or IMPALED NAZARENE). here, now I'm depressed by having to submit my first review on this piece oh history of 2oth century music just by aswering another one. Long live King Crismon. And, oh, by the way, I thing that Lizard and Red are even better.
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 06:43
This was the best part IMO:

" then they play the FLUTE or maybe MELLOTRON(it's the same thing, right?) "



Essential stuff.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 06:48
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 07:10
I didn't bother to read past the first mention of DEATH METAL until now..!!


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 08:37

Plastic Man.

Looks like maybe you have not seen this thread:

http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13082

The notion that only threads in the Prog msuic lounge is misguided and wrong. Some of the most popular threads are in other sections. If you use the "Active topics" facility, the section the thread is in becomes irrelevant to the reader.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 11:06
Originally posted by Plastic Man Plastic Man wrote:

this is the top review on the home page right now, but i thought i would post it here because it will soon no longer be visible on the front page..but ahahahahahahaha, best review ever.

KING CRIMSON "In the Court of the Crimson King"
Review (Permanent link) by Chinwag Shall We
Posted 3:36:43 AM EST, 11/28/2005

5 stars   This is how DEATH METAL was born. Essential! Just when pop music became pop, KING CRIMSON showed the world the true, brutal side of music. Many parents were afraid to bring their kids to rock concerts, as the moshing was the new fashion in the late 60's, and many who went to concerts never returned home. ROBERT FRUUP AND FRIENDS showed the stupid, filthy hippies how real MUSIC should be played. When it was trendy to sing like you are a pedophile, Greg Lake's tortured, distorted vocals full of teenage angst exploded on the late 60's music scene.

The first track, 21st Century Schizoid Man, kicks a lot of ass. Decades after true metalheads will discover this masterpiece and play even faster and heavier. Without this track, no DEATH METAL would exist today, in the same shape we know it. Forget BLACK SABBATH and LED ZEPPELIN, now this is HEAVY! This song is really cool, it has some really funny jazzy moments, I always laugh at them wehn I am stowned or drunk(like right nwo!).

The second track shows what every METAL band should sound like: diverse and unpredictival. First they explode DEATH METAL bands, and then they play the FLUTE or maybe MELLOTRON(it's the same thing, right?). OPETH and FANTOMAS would later adapt this innovative iddea by fusing the brutal and the beautiful side of musi together. This isn'y rrally DEATH METAL, but without this song, the HEACY genre wuld be boring and every song wouls doiung the same.

The third song makes the listener fall asleep. I think it was FRUUP's intention to fall asleep the listeenr. If it is your bad time, then go to bad and turn it on, but if it isn't, skip the tracxk and listen to Epitaph.

Epitaph is very emotional and depressing. Without it, OPETH and AGALLOCH would never exist, if they did, it would be in some boring METAL shape, properly. I try not to listen to this song too much, it makes me cry, so I usually just skip ot track number 5 straight after I Talk To The Wung.

The last song is a masterfecei!!!!!! It combines ROCK and maybe METAL with SYMPHONIC elements(like BACH and STUFF). This is cool and innovative! While Beatles(tupid hippys)were wasting heir time doing dtugs and Yes were w**king their instruments, KING CRMSON and ROBERT FRUUP fused HEAVINESS and SUMPHONICNESS. EMPEROR, THERION and ETC. would later adapt this idea.

IN OTHER WORDS DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME IF YOU LIKE METAL YOU MUST BUY IT IT CREATED MUSIC GOOD MUSIC IM EAN


One of the best abuse reviews yet

RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2005 at 11:10

"Many parents were afraid to bring their kids to rock concerts, as the moshing was the new fashion in the late 60's, and many who went to concerts never returned home."

Blimey - whose concerts were those?

And who is this Robert Fruup guy?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 29 2005 at 21:37
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

Plastic Man.

Looks like maybe you have not seen this thread:

http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13082

The notion that only threads in the Prog msuic lounge is misguided and wrong. Some of the most popular threads are in other sections. If you use the "Active topics" facility, the section the thread is in becomes irrelevant to the reader.


oh.
I begin to wonder if the points of all the ancient myths are solemnly di-rected straight.. at.. meeeeeeeeee!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 12 2005 at 10:58
Hilarious stuff - an enjoyable read!
David - Never doubt in the dark that which you believe to be true in the light.
http://www.myspace.com/aardvarktxusa - Instrumental rock
http://www.soundclick.com/aardvarktxusa
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 12 2005 at 12:10

"ROBERT FRUUP AND FRIENDS showed the stupid, filthy hippies how real MUSIC should be played."

I'm guessing he don't much like hippies?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 14 2005 at 16:51
Originally posted by Plastic Man Plastic Man wrote:

It combines ROCK and maybe METAL with SYMPHONIC elements(like BACH and STUFF).
I was smiling throughout the whole thing, but this part made me burst out laughing. The lack of knowledge of someone with no apparent knowledge of classical music trying to sound intelligent is funny enough, but I can just imagine a drunk person and their tone of voice as they go "like BACH and STUFF."
The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 14 2005 at 16:59
STUFF was one of the most famous composers of the late 18th Century. Rober Fripp has often cited him as a major influence in the work of King Crimson.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 19 2005 at 10:29
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

If you use the "Active topics" facility, the section the thread is in becomes irrelevant to the reader.

Thanks. I never saw that button. That's the kind of functionality that I always wished there was on the forum but I never knew it existed.

Originally posted by Biggles Biggles wrote:

Originally posted by Plastic Man Plastic Man wrote:

It combines ROCK and maybe METAL with SYMPHONIC elements(like BACH and STUFF).
I was smiling throughout the whole thing, but this part made me burst out laughing. The lack of knowledge of someone with no apparent knowledge of classical music trying to sound intelligent is funny enough, but I can just imagine a drunk person and their tone of voice as they go "like BACH and STUFF."

 ... classic.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 20 2005 at 02:27
HAHA, that was great.
www.last.fm/user/ThisCenotaph
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 21 2005 at 17:52

My favorite part was "I Talk to the Wung"

By the way EL, I'm an indirect descendant of the great composer Stuff.  It's about time he got the recognition he deserved.  He was almost as great as the Chinese composer So On. 

I can understand your anger at me, but what did the horse I rode in on ever do to you?
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