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Prog Sothoth 
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: May 03 2011
Location: MA
Status: Offline
Points: 1940
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 Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:17 |
 frippism wrote:
Jesus walks into a bar
turns someones beer into wine
"Hey! I didn't ask for this"
"I didn't ask to die for your sins"
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Utter greatness.
James Bond walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender makes a martini, takes a crap in it and places it in front of Bond. James Bond says "I said shaken, not turd!"
How many goths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they prefer to dwell in the daahhkness.
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8620
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:29 |
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How does a Newfoundlander count to ten? One, two, another, another, another.
How many Newfoundlanders does it take to change a light bulb? Four, one to hold the bulb, and three to turn the chair.
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
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Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:33 |
Who's there?
Who's there?
Who's there?
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frippism
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Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 27 2010
Location: Tel Aviv
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:39 |
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^ that must be the most tragic knock knock joke I've heard. The tough pressures of city life, chronic loneliness, depression, hunger, lust, drama, all in one joke.
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There be dragons
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
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Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:41 |
^ You can read it in conjunction with my previous post. It is a two part epic. Or a standalone joke if one wishes. 
Edited by Snow Dog - May 21 2012 at 13:42
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frippism
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 27 2010
Location: Tel Aviv
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:42 |
^ :O
I was hoping for a trilogy. All good things come in 3's!
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There be dragons
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
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Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:43 |
WE shall see! 
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frippism
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 27 2010
Location: Tel Aviv
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 13:47 |
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You know what really is the worst joke on the planet? The whole "Justin Bieber is a female" fad thing. It wasn't funny from the beginning, and yet people are afraid to admit it wasn't remotely funny from the beginning, under the risk of being accused as having the Bieber Fever (oh no!).
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There be dragons
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Green Shield Stamp
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 17 2009
Location: Telford, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 933
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 15:15 |
How many ears does captain Kirk have?
He has three:
a left ear
a right ear
and a final front ear
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Haiku
Writing a poem
With seventeen syllables
Is very diffic....
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frippism
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 27 2010
Location: Tel Aviv
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 15:20 |
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^ you sir, have got some skill
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There be dragons
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Tapfret
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: August 12 2007
Location: Bryant, Wa
Status: Offline
Points: 8581
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 15:36 |
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Why does Darth Vader circumcise his Jedi victims?
So the foreskin be with him.
(this joke came to me in a dream and I woke up laughing)
Edited by Tapfret - May 21 2012 at 15:37
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8620
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 17:26 |
How many ears does Davy Crockett have? Three A right ear, a left ear, and a wild front ear. The Kirk joke reminded me of this. 
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zappaholic
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 19:54 |
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I'm pretty sure the original poster has been frightened away from this site, never to be seen again.
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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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Tapfret
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: August 12 2007
Location: Bryant, Wa
Status: Offline
Points: 8581
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 20:41 |
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Oh geez, I checked OP's profile.
She's 17...you guys should be ashamed of yourselves.
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Epignosis
Special Collaborator
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Joined: December 30 2007
Location: Raeford, NC
Status: Offline
Points: 32524
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 20:48 |
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She's actually been quite busy. She'll be graduating soon, and she just performed a senior recital of piano and vocals.
We did "Yankee Bayonet" by The Decemberists together.
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Epignosis
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: December 30 2007
Location: Raeford, NC
Status: Offline
Points: 32524
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 20:51 |
Tapfret wrote:
Why does Darth Vader circumcise his Jedi victims?
So the foreskin be with him.
(this joke came to me in a dream and I woke up laughing)
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I laughed.
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Ambient Hurricanes
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 25 2011
Location: internet
Status: Offline
Points: 2549
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Posted: May 21 2012 at 21:44 |
Epignosis wrote:
She's actually been quite busy. She'll be graduating soon, and she just performed a senior recital of piano and vocals.
We did "Yankee Bayonet" by The Decemberists together.
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You know the OP personally? What does she think of us now? At least my joke was clean.
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I love dogs, I've always loved dogs
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CPicard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2008
Location: Là, sui monti.
Status: Offline
Points: 10841
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Posted: May 22 2012 at 10:52 |
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- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- I-eat-mipe.
- I-eat-mipe who?
- You eat your poo?!
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frippism
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 27 2010
Location: Tel Aviv
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: May 22 2012 at 11:12 |
Tapfret wrote:
Oh geez, I checked OP's profile.
She's 17...you guys should be ashamed of yourselves.
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never too early to start having the sense of humor of a 5 year old.
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There be dragons
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 22 2012 at 11:16 |
Ambient Hurricanes wrote:
Epignosis wrote:
She's actually been quite busy. She'll be graduating soon, and she just performed a senior recital of piano and vocals.
We did "Yankee Bayonet" by The Decemberists together.
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You know the OP personally? |
They are brother and sister
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