Smells Like... What?

Three fingers of rot-gut whiskey across a smoke-filled bar at the cheap end of a five week month after a miserable night of depondantly trawling the wanted ads for a glimmer of hope in an otherwise infecund existance smells of a cross between a Sergio Leone Western and a Oprah book of the month pick.

Barbecued finches sprinkled with cinnamon and freshly cut grass smells like tofu that has been modelled into a scale replica of the Taj Mahal (ताज महल) by 16 renegade bicycle repairmen who are moonlighting as insurance salesmen to meet the monthly repayments on the car loan they took out 24 years ago while training for the Winter Olympic Games in Calgary the following year.

Slightly undercooked satay chicken which was cooked for too long at too low-a heat smells like a brilliant metaphor for an old man who died without ever achieving anything he dreamt of.

Smells like Vompatti's been reading Harold Bloom, eating potato chips, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, playing online badugi, but not practicing. 

Smells like this thread is moving away from its original purpose. 

That time last year in Biology where my friend thought it would be funny to hide a Sheep's Heart in a beaker in the abck of the classroom under the cabinet, which resulted in no more Practical Science for that semester smells like a sad sad thing because practical science is very very important to anyone who wants to learn how to make bombs or create a new race of atomic super ants to take over the world.

Cat Vomit smells like half-digested wieners, grass and dirty water.

Instant coffee, which really smells like an anus, smells like an interesting observation and one that Nescafé probably wouldn't be too happy to hear.

A fresh brew made on a real coffee machine smells like awesome for someone who can tell the difference between drip and brew because I sure can't.

The slightly warmed dregs of milk from the lovely glass of said milk which I just thoroughly enjoyed smells of the musty ball sack of the football player after a long night in a bar of convincing women he's more of a man that he appears.