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The Runaway
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144
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Posted: February 09 2010 at 14:06 |
And it begins:
CAT'S FOOT, IRON CLAW, NEUROSURGEONS SCREAM FOR MORE
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: February 09 2010 at 14:11 |
A PARENT LAWYER'S BOYS ENDURE DWEN IF ERNST CENT URI SKETCH OINTMENT!!!
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008
Location: Declined
Status: Offline
Points: 16715
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Posted: February 10 2010 at 23:49 |
Dean wrote:
Having screamed the secret message a swirly hypnotic vortex that looks like some kind of inter-spacial portal from a once popular 1960s tv series magically appears in the wall opposite the Big Generator picture. You stand mesmerised by the swirly hypnotic vortex as it threatens to engulf the entire wall, a major portion of the ceiling, several metres of the floor and an interesting but valueless art nouveau vase on a rococo table you failed to notice when you first awoke. The table wobbles slightly as one of its legs disappears into the portal then slowly and inexorably it tilts, unbalanced by the missing leg. You watch in dumbfound confused horror as the vase slides relentlessly towards the swirly hypnotic vortex until it succumbs to the irresistible forces within and tumbles into the room-engulfing chasm, to be followed rather quickly though unnervingly without sound, by the table itself. Regardless of the inevitable pull of the swirly hypnotic vortex, you feel compelled you to look at your hands and their cartoon-like three digits and faintly a memory forms in your mind, something dim and half forgotten, something about two-fingers of rot-gut red-eye.... |
Unhappy with merely taking the table, the portal has jumped to the other side of the room! As it devours the nicely framed copy of Big Generator, everything in the room starts to get fuzzy, and you somehow feel wrong. In shock, you stare at your rapidly oscillating hands, and through them you notice an angry, giant floating can of spam, impossibly clear among the chaos. It appears to have come through the portal, and you wonder if it is a minor deity come to save you, or perhaps only a visitor from another plane with anti-gravity boots purchased from the interdimensional Wal-Mart. You are completely baffled by the limitless possibilities this situation presents and do not know what to do next.
The loudspeaker is now playing Raindance by Casualties of Applied Metaphysics.
Edited by Henry Plainview - February 11 2010 at 00:02
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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Posted: February 11 2010 at 05:15 |
The swirly hypnotic vortex grew in intensity and magnitude, causing the room to further distort and fuzzify, slowly sucking in the PA speaker and the spasmodic music it was broadcasting like the audio equivalent of an event-horizon, the notes being stretched and slowed to a stop as relative-time convolved into another dimension to be spat back out again through Hawking Radiation, re-arranged and re-tuned into some semblance of disorder that faintly resembled a long discarded sound experiment by Pierre Boulez. It was became increasingly obvious that the SPAM BOT was neither a minor deity nor a mere visitor from another plane, but a representative for the Soylent corporation. Fortunately the dissonant mix of Pre and Post-Vortex music is having a soporific effect on the SPAM BOT and its angry/hungry expression changes to one of blasé indifference, so quickly you snatch the anti-gravity boots from its "feet" and the SPAM lies down in a bored way...
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What?
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AtomicCrimsonRush
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 02 2008
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 14258
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Posted: April 03 2010 at 08:13 |
Now that is cool!!!
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horsewithteeth11
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Kentucky
Status: Offline
Points: 24598
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Posted: April 03 2010 at 17:58 |
Stab the can of Spam with a lightsaber.
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TangeranicReptilian
Forum Newbie
Joined: April 03 2010
Location: Idaho
Status: Offline
Points: 11
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Posted: April 03 2010 at 21:33 |
How about you procede to stab the can of spam with a lightsaber, but then the anti gravity boots malfunction!
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AtomicCrimsonRush
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 02 2008
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 14258
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Posted: April 09 2010 at 01:48 |
How about you procede to stab the can of spam with a lightsaber, but then the anti gravity boots malfunction and then have him climb the walls and do a fartwheel over the lounge!
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