Rewriting classics... #1: Hotel California

This idea came to me thanks to another thread... There is a lot of creativity wandering around here, so I think we, together, we can do much better than some of those pop/rock/prog classic artists : Let us rewrite some lyrics.

The rules:

1. One line per post (to stimulate the collaborative effort).

2. It has to sound a bit like the original (rhyme, sounding like... like kids who mimic a song without knowing what they're actually singing).

3. It also has to fit the number of feet of the verses (more or less).

4. Respect the length of the original song.

The aim is, hypothetically, to make a kind of band-aid youtube video on which we can all sing together this classic song with our new lyrics in order to help out forumers that have gone astray... (In the last post, I will combine all the lines into one lyric to help us with the rehearsals).

In a good prog tradition, the lyrics don't necessarily have to make much sense...

And don't hesitate to start a Rewriting classics #2, if you feel a certain urge...

I will start things off...