Only Second Largest

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Texas was the largest state in the U.S. for decades, and then became the second largest in 1959, when Alaska became a state. At that time there was a story (NOT true, of course) about a Texan who just couldn't stand the fact that he no longer lived in the largest state, so he moved to Alaska. He walked into a bar and yelled "Hey, you guys, what do I have to do to become an Alaskan?"
The guys in the bar saw a chance to have some fun with him, so the bartender said "Oh, you just have to perform three tasks. Drink a quart of whiskey, shoot a polar bear, and have sex with an Eskimo girl."
"OK," he said, "gimme a quart of whiskey."
He gulped it down and said "That's one task down, and two to go. Anybody got a gun I can borrow?"
So somebody lent him a gun and he went out. Half an hour later he returned, now very drunk of course, and said "Here's your gun back. Two down and one to go!" and he went out again.
It was another three hours before he came staggering back, looking like he'd been through a war. "It's no use," he said. "I give up. I'm going back to Texas."
"So," said the bartender, "the Eskimo girls are too much for you to handle?"
"No," he said, "it was easy to shoot the Eskimo girl. But these BEARS are too much!"

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Dragon Drop Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Groupie Joined: June 26 2015 Location: New York Status: Offline Points: 73	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dragon Drop Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Only Second Largest Posted: January 29 2020 at 15:07
	Texas was the largest state in the U.S. for decades, and then became the second largest in 1959, when Alaska became a state. At that time there was a story (NOT true, of course) about a Texan who just couldn't stand the fact that he no longer lived in the largest state, so he moved to Alaska. He walked into a bar and yelled "Hey, you guys, what do I have to do to become an Alaskan?" The guys in the bar saw a chance to have some fun with him, so the bartender said "Oh, you just have to perform three tasks. Drink a quart of whiskey, shoot a polar bear, and have sex with an Eskimo girl." "OK," he said, "gimme a quart of whiskey." He gulped it down and said "That's one task down, and two to go. Anybody got a gun I can borrow?" So somebody lent him a gun and he went out. Half an hour later he returned, now very drunk of course, and said "Here's your gun back. Two down and one to go!" and he went out again. It was another three hours before he came staggering back, looking like he'd been through a war. "It's no use," he said. "I give up. I'm going back to Texas." "So," said the bartender, "the Eskimo girls are too much for you to handle?" "No," he said, "it was easy to shoot the Eskimo girl. But these BEARS are too much!"