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Swinton MCR View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Picture the scene (True story)
    Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:12

My Wifes friend had decided to go out for her 40th, she was to go to several pubs then on into Town (Manchester)....That was the plan, but after having a nice time in the pubs - the concensus of opinion was (as they are wimmin in the 30-45 age range) that clubbing was less appealing than being invited back to the birthday girls house for some nibbles and wine. So home they went.

They got into the hall and the hostess told the five/six women to enter the lounge whist she went for a quick pee... She comes down the stairs to hysterical laughter and all her friends peering round the lounge door........

She peers in, her husband is in a reclining chair facing the big 50 inch television with a lesbian gash-lick in full technicolour detail whilst he is slowly masturbating - naked except for a pair of wireless headphones - through which he was listening to some very loud music.......

The question is - What was he listening to ??

P.S - My wife was in the party of wimmin...this is her tale



Edited by Swinton MCR
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:24

Visions of Angels

The Musical Box

How Dare I Be so Beautiful (From Suppers Ready)

The Cinema Show

I Know What I Like

Scenes from a Nights Dream

Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is the best...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:38

Shooting Angels - IQ ?

hope it wasn't  "Caught In The Act" - Styx live, I dont know which would be the more embarrassing!Wink

 

 




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:51

Carpet Crawlers

Knight of the Swords
Lord of Entropy
Duke of Chaos
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:08

Oh My Lord - Nick Cave

InThe Flesh - Pain of Salvation

Don't hate me
I'm not special like you
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:10
GREAT GIG IN THE SKY... its practically the sounds of an orgasm

the aussies even voted it best song to f**k to in like 1990 or something
The Worthless Recluse
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:10

"I Know What Guys Want" - The Waitresses

"Girls Just Want to Have Fun" - Cyndi Lauper



Edited by threefates
THIS IS ELP
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:17

"Counting Out Time"

I'm counting out time,
Got the whole thing down by numbers.
All those numbers!
Give my guidance!
O Lord I need that now.

The day of judgement's come,
And you can bet that I've been resting,
for this testing,
Digesting every word the experts say.
Erogenous zones I love you.
Without you, what would a poor boy do?

Found a girl I wanted to date,
Thought I'd better get it straight.
Went to buy a book before it's too late.
Don't leave nothing to fate.
And I have studied every line, every page in the book,
And now I've got the real thing here, I'm gonna take a look, take a look.

I'm counting out time, hoping it goes like I planned it,
'cos I understand it. Look! I've found the hotspots, Figs 1-9.
-still counting out time, got my finger on the button,
"Don't say nuttin-just lie there still
And I'll get you turned on just fine."
Erongenous zones I love you.
Without you, what would a poor boy do?

Touch and go with 1-6.
Bit of trouble in zone No. 7.
Gotta remember all of my tricks.
There's heaven ahead in No. 11!
Getting crucial responses with dialation of the pupils.
"Honey get hip! It's time to unzip, to unzip. Whipee!"
-Move over Casanova-

I'm counting out time, reaction none to happy,
Please don't slap me,
I'm a red blooded male and the book said I could not fail.
I'm counting out time, I got unexpected distress from my mistress,
I'll get my money back from the bookstore right away.
Erongenous zones I question you-
Without you, what would a poor boy do?
Without you, mankind handkinds thru' the blues.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:31

I Touch Myself -- Divinyls

Do the Spin -- (?)

When You're In Love with a Beautiful Woman (It's Hard) -- (?)

Touch Me -- Doors

Turning Japanese -- Vapors

Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John

Kissing Willy -- Jethro Tool

LOL



Edited by Peter
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:38

Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John

Darn it, I should have come up with that, I'm a big fan of dear old Elton.

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:58

 

This is from The Grease Soundtrack Album:

Born to hand-jive, baby,
born to hand-jive, baby - yeah
How low can you go, how low can you go,
how low can you go, how low can you go
Higher, higher, higher and higher
Now can you hand-jive, baby, oh can you hand-jive, baby
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,
born to hand-jive, oh yeah!



Edited by Reed Lover



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Swinton MCR View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:09

Without you Mankind Handkinds through the blues........Classic Gabriel, but in this case not what he was listening to.......

You'll just have to try harder folks......

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:10

Orgasmatron - Motorhead

Slide it in - Whitesnake

When she comes - VDGG

Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:13
Actually your second choice is quite near the actual track he was listening to !!!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:16



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:32
frank zappa - i promise not to cum in your mouth
AC/DC - given the dog a bone
pearl jam - dirty frank
beastie boys - boomin granny
the bloodhound gang - a lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying
eminem - cum on everybody
tool - jerk off
tool - maynards dick
tool - hooker with a penis
tenacious d - f**k her gently
jackyl - she loves my cock
The Worthless Recluse
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:51

 

Slum goddess from the lower east side or Coca-cola Duesch by the Fugs?

 



"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?"
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Peter View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:51

ErmmFZ - Keep It Greasy

Ding Dong Merrily on High

Beatles - Come Together

Confused

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:05

the mothers of invention - Return of the son of monster magnet

or anything else with Suzie Creamcheeze

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:36

ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'?

Something by Willie Nelson?

 

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