Round 1 Rome Bracket: Dream Theater v. Caravan

Here's how I see it:

Fresh off of their stomping of The Flower Kings (link) The Dream Theater gang continue their strut down the alley of Progressive Bad Assness cocky and still full of themselves.  They don't notice that they're walking into a trap.

Out of nowhere, Colin Edwin leaps from a second story building, hurtling towards John Myung.  Unfortunately, Myung's years of martial arts training serve him well allowing him to gingerly step to the side, avoiding Edwin completely.  Unfortunately, Edwin doesn't do nearly as good of a job avoiding the ground, effectively taking himself out of the fight.

With the element of surprise gone, Steven Wilson takes on the daunting trio of Charlie Dominici, James Labrie and John Petrucci.  Steven would hold his own at first, using a broken guitar string as a garrote against James LaBrie, though little did anyone know, LaBrie's surgically reconstructed throat was apparently surrounded by a sheath of surgical steel rendering Wilson's attack ineffective at best.  This serves to only piss off John Petrucci who promptly eats Steven Wilson and Charlie Dominici.

Mike Portnoy sizes up the pair of Harrison and Maitland and starts posturing by hitting as many things as he possibly can with his sticks.  In a move, vaguely reminiscent of the first Indiana Jones movie, Gavin Harrison wails a stick at Portnoy in the midst of the flourish, hitting him square between the eyes and removing him from combat.

As the keyboardists were getting ready to duke it out, Kevin Moore gets a call from his girlfriend breaking up with him.  He promptly storms off angrily into obscurity, singing about his hurt in a flat and uninteresting voice.  Derek Sherenin watches with a certain amount of amusement as Moore leaves then turns towards Richard Barbieri sizing up the opponent.  As Sherenin studies the situation, Jordan goes into a series of convulsions, with his beard quivering menacingly.  Rudess begins to scream at Barberi, advancing towards the man.  As he gets closer and closer, Barberi first looses the ability to stand then the ability to hold his bladder.  

Winner - Dream Theater