Forum Home Forum Home > Topics not related to music > Just for Fun
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Tell me the worst joke you know:)
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Topic ClosedTell me the worst joke you know:)
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 10111213>
Author
Message
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2012 at 15:27
Jesus is hanging from the cross, near death. The guards have had their sport and left, only a few of his most ardent followers remain to watch his last moments.
"My disciples" gasps Jesus, his voice wracked, his throat parched. "Please take me down from the cross, that I might pass on in peace."
His disciples quickly scrabble around for something with which to get up to Jesus and unable to find anything, quickly form a crude human ladder with three of them atop each other. The one at the top hastily pulls the nails from Jesus' hands.
With a terrible wrenching sound, Jesus falls forward screaming "FEET FIRST! FEET FIRST!"
Back to Top
zappaholic View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2012 at 17:59


(I think this is the first time Wondermark has resorted to a pun, but I wouldn't swear to it.)
"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2012 at 21:49
That was genuinely horrible.
 
 
My turn!
 
I arranged a date with a Dutch girl last week. Unfortunately, she never showed up as she had popped her clogs.
 
(This is kind of a litmus test for people who have an unsophisticated sense of humour. The double-meaning of clogs may seem like something witty/clever has been said to people who don't think about it but actually it's a failure as for it to be witty or clever, "popping" wooden shoes would have to have some sort of meaning, which it doesn't.)
Back to Top
AtomicCrimsonRush View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Honorary Collaborator

Joined: July 02 2008
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 14258 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 09:45
a lady walks into an ice cream shop and asks the man at the counter for some chocolate ice cream. the man says "sorry ma'am, we're fresh out". the women says "ok, than just give me some chocolate ice cream please". the man replies " sorry ma'am, i just told u we're out". the woman than says "really? sigh...ok, than i'll just have some chocolate ice cream". the man by this point just stares at her for a moment and finally replies "look lady, say 'van' as in vanilla..." the woman replies in a perky voice "ok, van!". the man then says "ok, say 'straw' as in strawberry..." the lady once again replies cheerfully "straw!". the man says "good, now say 'FREAK' as in chocolate..." the lady thinks for a moment and then remarks to the man "wait a minute, there's no 'freak' in chocolate!". To this the man replies "THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL U!!!!!"
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 15:23
That was really terrible, just appallingly written. Well done :)
 
 
"Doctor, doctor, my arm keeps hurting in several places."

"Well stop going to them then."
Back to Top
colorofmoney91 View Drop Down
Prog Reviewer
Prog Reviewer


Joined: March 16 2008
Location: Biosphere
Status: Offline
Points: 22774 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 15:36
This thread needs to die.
Hanashukketsu
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 15:49

"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a banana."

 
"Yo iz one ker-azy ass white boy. Now shush yo jive-ass mouth."
 
"..."
 
"..."
 
"..."
 
"..."

"..."
 
*they kiss*
Back to Top
presdoug View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8649 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 20:24
Doctor, doctor, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!

                    No, your two tents.
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 20:48
Why did the old lady put rolling skates on her rocking chair?

She had dementia.
Back to Top
Ambient Hurricanes View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: December 25 2011
Location: internet
Status: Offline
Points: 2549 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2012 at 23:41
Originally posted by colorofmoney91 colorofmoney91 wrote:

This thread needs to die.
 
I don't think so, some of these are pretty funny, actually.
I love dogs, I've always loved dogs
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2012 at 04:55
What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

"Can you make me one with everything?"
Back to Top
Dean View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout

Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2012 at 04:58
How to interview the Dalai Lama:
 
What?
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2012 at 18:44
What do a giraffe and an elephant have in common?

They're both grey. (Except for the giraffe.)
Back to Top
Luna View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: July 28 2010
Location: Funky Town
Status: Offline
Points: 12794 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2012 at 18:45
Originally posted by colorofmoney91 colorofmoney91 wrote:

This thread needs to die.
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2012 at 23:54
Yo momma needs to die.
 
Yo momma so dumb she can't put her M&Ms in alphabetical order.
 
Yo momma so fat her size is equator.
 
Yo momma so old that when she was at school, history was called news.
 
Yo momma so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and they said "Sorry, no professionals."
 
Yo momma so poor her food stamps bounce.


Edited by Textbook - June 07 2012 at 23:55
Back to Top
presdoug View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8649 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 08 2012 at 17:42
How do you keep a moron in suspense?

                               I'll tell you tomorrow.LOL
Back to Top
stacyj View Drop Down
Forum Groupie
Forum Groupie
Avatar

Joined: May 22 2012
Location: Sanford,NC.
Status: Offline
Points: 75 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 08 2012 at 20:26
 I asked one "do you belive in the hereafter" ?
 they replied "no" !
 so i asked "then what are ya here after" ?Big smile
Back to Top
zappaholic View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 10 2012 at 10:47
"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
Back to Top
Textbook View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 10 2012 at 16:14
Can Stevie Wonder see why children love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

There's just no answer to this.
Back to Top
presdoug View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8649 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 10 2012 at 17:25
What did the Alaskan policemen say to the bank robbers?       Freeze!
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 10111213>

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down



This page was generated in 0.129 seconds.
Donate monthly and keep PA fast-loading and ad-free forever.