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Topic ClosedThings to do when bored in a supermarket

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Jim Garten View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Things to do when bored in a supermarket
    Posted: November 25 2004 at 12:39
Do this either when bored or when your 'significant other' is taking his/her sweet time.....

Give yourself 1 point for each task successfully completed - the lucky couple with the highest score wins a weekend for 2 in Peter Rideout's underwear closet.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms, randomly put them in peoples trolleys when they
aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the bathrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in
housewares,'...and see what happens.


5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't
you people just leave me alone?

8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick
your nose.

9. While handling knives in the housewares department ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
'Mission Impossible'.

11. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size
funnels.

12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME!
PICK ME!!!!!!'

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker assume the fetal
position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'....and last but not
least,

14. Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly ..'Hey! We're out of toilet
paper in here!'.

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Velvetclown View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 25 2004 at 12:48
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The Prognaut View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 25 2004 at 17:28

BWWWWAAAHHHH!!

Great stuff Jim!!! I'd definitely do numbers 5 and 10 specially...

 

break the circle

reset my head

wake the sleepwalker

and i'll wake the dead
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sigod View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 26 2004 at 06:23
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Jim Garten

Always out-numbered, never out-gunned...
I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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