Textbook Has No Shame (Now With Scottish Accent!)

 

The celestial foundry without any boundaries

The concept astounds me, affects me profoundly

2 gyr passing, no that's not babble

A gyr is gigayear, not some Indian cattle

Can your mind handle the matter, or does it just shatter

At the thought of this order of awe worthy data

Orbiting strata coalesce and compress

Ashes to astra, dust to planets, nothing less 

Particles colliding made the place where we're residing

You think the dark matter's hiding but its brilliance is blinding

Theories untestable but matter infintessimal

Becomes planetessimal, possibilites inestimable

Devolution inevitable, the solar system dissolves

The energy can't hold but continually evolves

 

Smacks of euphoric hysteria

Are what I'm going to apply to your posterior-

 

alright time out, I think we'll all be better off if I let that drop.

Fumbling for the light, the comfort of the bright

Yes I remember these times in my memories

Hugging teddy with tightness, lifeless but a friend to me

From outsides noises, the feral world's voices

Cutting through comfort's poises to remind you choices

Are just an illusion, in the dark is confusion

Brooding but soon to intrude through your puny occlusion

Your bedroom window, peering out of it in fear

What are these forms that appear gliding through the air

Tree limbs, shifting on sinister winds

Visions of aliens landing in cylindrical tins

The roof gets to creaking, shadows start speaking

Weakening your reasons as fears start to seep in

What fantastical shapes these phantasms take

That the mind creates until the dawn breaks

But this unknown forms are gone with the morn

Another day older and bolder at dawn

Wouldn't it be better if they came in bite sized chunks

But I'm not suggesting that we become cannibals

Cos every young child loves to feed the animals

Have a ride down the slide straight into the sawblade

Improve the status of our schools more than changes to the law made

Feed the brats to your cat, now kitten has a hearty nibble

Use this as the jingle for the ad, for kindergarten brand kibbles

There are a couple of slip-ups but not huge ones and I couldn't be bothered re-recording over and over to get it just right, it was a one take deal. First time I'm performing it so it's not that smooth but you get the idea.

 

(patched up lyric)

 

The evolution of a protoplanetary disk in the first two gigayears

That's a real big idea, now check the figures here

10 million years to form, warmth 1000 kelvins

1000 AU size the norm, come with me as I delve in

The celestial foundry without any boundaries

The concept astounds me, affects me profoundly

2 GYR passing, no that's not babble

A GYR's a gigayear, not Indian cattle

Can your mind handle the matter, or does it just shatter

At the thought of this order of awe worthy data

Orbiting strata coalesce and compress

Ashes to astra, dust to planets, nothing less 

Particles colliding made the place where we're residing

Dark matter's in space hiding but its radiance is blinding

Theories untestable but matter infintessimal

Becomes planetessimal, process unguessable

Probabilities, properties and potential inestimable

Devolution inevitable, solar system dissolves

The energy can't hold but ineffably evolves