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Paravion View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 16:06
Originally posted by Epiglottis Epiglottis wrote:

Does it "sux?"

You mark present-tense twice. That's not custom in English Geek
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 16:11
Originally posted by Paravion Paravion wrote:

Originally posted by Epiglottis Epiglottis wrote:

Does it "sux?"

You mark present-tense twice. That's not custom in English Geek


Neither is "custom in English." 

customary in English
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 16:20
..that was embarrassing.. 

Actually I just left out the indefinite article, possibly because we don't use those with the word for 'custom' (vane) in the equivalent Danish phrase.  
"It's not a custom in English" was the intended form. But I think 'not customary' is even better though..   


Edited by Paravion - August 30 2010 at 16:30
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 16:28
I think the proper way to say it would be "is it teh sux? No". Tongue

I liked the song, btw.


Edited by A Person - August 30 2010 at 16:29
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 18:25
I always find it amazing people get so hung up on exact phrases and wording on forums, like we have a teacher looking over our shoulder. Politeness is another issue and I agree with that.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 18:35
Originally posted by Paravion Paravion wrote:

..that was embarrassing.. 

Actually I just left out the indefinite article, possibly because we don't use those with the word for 'custom' (vane) in the equivalent Danish phrase.  
"It's not a custom in English" was the intended form. But I think 'not customary' is even better though..   

Hey, you write better English than I do Denmarkish. Tongue
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2010 at 23:03
Hi all, thanks so very much for all your comments/feedback. Much appreciated.
 
At this present time the song has been listened to 2293 times on myspace, streamed 735 times on Napster and an indetrminate amount of times on several other sites (accounting systems for them doesn't come through just yet).
 
The video has been viewed 301 times for version 2 (which is the version I linked you all to) and 126 views on version 1 which was a different edit - now removed because of quality/edit issues. Generally the feedback is highly positive. Only 2 people (Paravion here and someone else on Facebook) made any remarks that would be considered 'Rude' as such, but I sincerely hold no ill feelings towards either...
 
As I think I said in my original post - this song isn't really expressive of my bands overall sound, I'll try and get some audio of our original style for you to listen to and that would allow a fairer assessment of the band. Much of the material we use now is much more 'mainstream', but it is still within the identity of the band and seems to have been a natural progression for our writing.
 
We have spent 2 years re-evaluating, rewriting and reducing our sound. Our producer often comments on the epic scale of our tracks and many of them were of a length that was sometimes unbearable. 'Rapture' is one of our first songs that bridges the gap between our old and new format. It has a structure of Verse to Pre Chorus to Chorus, much more in line with commercial sounds.
 
The song can be interpreted in a few different ways:
  • A song about 2 people falling in love at first sight 5 minutes before the end of the world and trying to make the best of it.
  • A song about the end of a relationship.
  • A song about a death.

Paravion, you commented on some of the lyrics - allow me to explain:

Mentioning about 'Waiting for the sun to fall down' and commenting that 'Sun set' would be much more approachable - writing the song, I felt that the sun falling down would be a much more sudden and unnatural event than the gradual sunset which seems to include the possibilty of a sunrise... The general tone of the song I want to achieve is that the centre of someones universe is coming crashing down without hope. A sunset, I feel, would be more cliche and loses poetic potential as it is a commonly used phrase. Imagine if Shakespeare wrote 'Should I?' instead of 'To be or not to be?' - I'm sure his work would have not been as thought provoking...
 
'Fading like the light, faster than the speed of night' - is just a play on the two phrases that it derives from. Night doesn't fall fast at all, it's just saying that 'darkness' (as an ending or finality) is occurring much faster than it should be...
 
'Just a little bit, one more little bit, just a little bit more life' is just what is known as a 'Hook' in writing terms... It's one of those little bits of a song that stick in your head because it is repeated so often, though typically the 'hook' tends to be the chorus of a song when it is placed at the start of a song. I'm just gratified that whenever people meet up with me - that's the part of the song that they sing at me.
 
As for mentioning that the sun is an entity which is incapable of 'falling' - you may wish to re-evaluate that thought... ALL gravitational and attractional effect is based on the idea of 'Falling'. The Moons orbit around the Earth is actually described as a fall, as the Earth around the Sun is a all too. The Sun 'Falls' around the gravitational centre of the galaxy and so on... BUT - it's my brother that is an Astronomer, I studied Psychology instead and I only understand it from it's most popular sense.
 
Thank you all so very much though, I will check out some other posts here cos I like a bit of Floyd and Dream Theater.
 
You all seem very nice (even you Paravion) Wink
 
Regards,
Mark & Elysium
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 31 2010 at 04:43
Hi Mark

Thanks for returning to the Forum. For a moment I thought you wouldn't be back.

About the song. For me there are shades of Porcupine Tree about it but on that song alone I wouldn't consider it as Prog Rock. As for the "hook"...it goes on a little too long for my tastes and I get tired of it. Otherwise a perfectly good song.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 31 2010 at 08:42
Thank you for your response.
Originally posted by itchy itchy wrote:

I felt that the sun falling down would be a much more sudden and unnatural event than the gradual sunset which seems to include the possibilty of a sunrise...

A doomsday poem?
This perhaps better exemplifies why I don't like that particular phrase. It's of course all a matter of taste - and I'm of the 'less is more' school and in pop/rock lyrics, overly poetic ambitions and 'grandeur' imagery turns me off. Also I feel that familiar phrases generally do have more poetic potential, and if you want to meddle with reality the way you describe, and for some strange reason would want to meet my standards, I'd suggest more clarity in imagery mediated through familiar language-use. Remember - I like traditional folk music.
Originally posted by Itchy Itchy wrote:

As for mentioning that the sun is an entity which is incapable of 'falling' - you may wish to re-evaluate that thought... ALL gravitational and attractional effect is based on the idea of 'Falling'. The Moons orbit around the Earth is actually described as a fall, as the Earth around the Sun is a all too. The Sun 'Falls' around the gravitational centre of the galaxy and so on... BUT - it's my brother that is an Astronomer, I studied Psychology instead and I only understand it from it's most popular sense.

That is quite possibly true. But in the academic tradition where I'm 'brought up' (that be cognitive & functional linguistics), one distinguishes between two models of representing and categorizing reality; the folk model and the scientific/objective model of categorization. According to the folk model, the proto-typical semantics of the verb 'fall' would include rapid movement of the subject and a location where the subject falls upon. I wouldn't question that astrologers use another sense of the verb in their descriptions of the objective reality. But, again, according to my taste language-use in pop/rock lyrics should reflect the folk model more than the scientific model of categorization.

Originally posted by slatibartfast slatibartfast wrote:

Hey, you write better English than I do Denmarkish. Tongue

thx.
Actually, the reason for my reappearance on PA was to practise my writing skills in English, and not because I have anything to say really :). I don't like prog much, only listen to it for nostalgic reasons once in a while.

Do you speak Danish at all?

Originally posted by itchy itchy wrote:

the possibilty of a sunrise

Reminds me of the magnificent folk-album by the Famous Jug Band (Sunshine Possibilities) The title-track is a little song about what wonders will come "if we follow all the possibilities that the sun can bring". I couldn't find that, but here's is another great song in which the conclusion is "The sun is in the sky. That is the main thing!."


One more thing. About being a nice guy or not. I don't make any judgements of that sort. Itchy seems nice and polite and the response is much appreciated. That I think the song sux has absolutely nothing to do with any evaluation of personality characteristics.  

Edited by Paravion - August 31 2010 at 08:58
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