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Topic ClosedProg Rock-Mega Gay?

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Poll Question: What is the gayest form of popular music?
Poll Choice Votes Poll Statistics
7 [3.00%]
5 [2.15%]
10 [4.29%]
61 [26.18%]
2 [0.86%]
2 [0.86%]
7 [3.00%]
116 [49.79%]
3 [1.29%]
20 [8.58%]
This topic is closed, no new votes accepted

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James Lee View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2004 at 22:27

did I miss someone getting offended?

Damn, that would have made the thread interesting.

Maybe we could have a discussion about the difference between the various meanings of the word "gay"...and the weird twist that makes oversensitive straight people more offended by it than the people they're patronizingly trying to protect.

No takers?

Oh well. It was a gay idea anyway.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2004 at 22:34
Gay people suck.............................................Well we do!!!!!
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Peter View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2004 at 23:00

Originally posted by James Lee James Lee wrote:

Maybe we could have a discussion about the difference between the various meanings of the word "gay"...and the weird twist that makes oversensitive straight people more offended by it than the people they're patronizingly trying to protect.

Confused Why so cynical, James? Why must it be "oversensitive" and "patronizing" if, for example, I don't want teenage students casually tossing "gay" around as an insult (or synonym for "lame") in my classroom? Can I, as a heterosexual, feel no concern for the self-esteem and well-being of a gay teen? I'm not black, either, so if I tried to help a black person, or protect them from a danger (such as an oncoming car, unnoticed by them), would my concern necessarily be patronizing? Being white, I should (or "secretly," you might say) feel nothing if a non-white hangs himself in front of me? Are those gays that are my friends not REALLY my friends? Do they just make me feel more smugly superior in my white middle class liberalism? Do you believe that every human action is self-serving?

Frankly, your attitude on this one is rather patronizing -- please don't presume to be able to see inside the hearts of all those who don't think the same way that you do.

Should I not speak my position if I feel that I might otherwise, in some small (but real) way seem to condone homophobia, or make gays less than welcome here?

I know: "I was just joking -- too bad you fell for it.LOL"

Well, as a gay singer once wrote: "That joke isn't funny anymore." Stern Smile



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Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2004 at 23:02
I agree with you James....sorry Peter!
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Peter View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2004 at 23:08
Could you please be more specific, Gdub, and do you speak for all gay people, much like James can (supposedly) see into the minds of others? Confused
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 00:33
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Confused Why so cynical, young James? I was mainly just responding to the mostly un-provoked and over-sized outburst by "the musical box"...in truth, I'm just about as cynical as I am young  Why must it be "oversensitive" and "patronizing" if, for example, I don't want teenage students casually tossing "gay" around as an insult (or synonym for "lame") in my classroom? I completely understand; we want to get away from stigmatizing people with use of derogatory terms...but think about how few people really get upset about similar uses of "dumb" or "lame"- even folks who are unable to talk or walk properly. Language is a constantly growing tree with many questionable roots (sorry, lame metaphor...). I think that type of usage is probably too casual for a classroom anyway, but then again I was educated by nuns and monks  Can I, as a heterosexual, feel no concern for the self-esteem and well-being of a gay or lesbian youth? I'm not black, either, so if I tried to help a black person, or protect them from a danger (such as an oncoming car, unnoticed by them), would my concern necessarily be patronizing? Being white, I should (or "secretly," you might say) feel nothing if a non-white hangs himself in front of me? By no means...despite my reputation as an elitist, I live by those famous Donne words. All people, regardless of distinctions and generalizations, are worthy of everyone's concern. In addition to that, the underdog is one of my all-time favorite animals. But I myself have tried too hard to read between the lines (many times- and it will probably happen again soon!). I just don't think that calling something "gay" has anything but the most tenuous links to the sort of malice that resulted in the Matthew Sheppard outrage, among countless others.  Are those gays that are my friends not REALLY my friends? Do they just make me feel more smugly superior in my white middle class liberalism? Maybe- you wouldn't be the first- but as you say, I cannot ever truly know your real thoughts. I'd prefer to think of you as simply compassionate. Do you believe that every human action is self-serving? An emphatic yes, but only in the sense that anything we do ultimately derives from a personal preference, and therefore represents our 'self-ishness'. 

Frankly, your attitude on this one is rather patronizing -- don't presume to be able to see inside the hearts of all those who don't think the same way that you do. Point taken; I don't even 'know' my own mind half the time...all I can go by is what I see and hear, and I've learned a healthy scepticism of even that much. Although one man's healthy scepticism can be another man's cynicism

Should I not speak my position if I feel that I might otherwise, in some small (but real) way seem to condone homophobia, or make gays less than welcome here? You should speak your position even if you think the world is flat...and your position on this topic is much more arguable and important than that one would be. I wish we did have a few more gay participants- so far it's been just us old heteros tossing around theories. Oh, and gdub...but he seems to be able to express himself quite clearly and openly. Even with a bully like me on his back

I know: "I was just joking -- too bad you fell for it.LOL"

Well, as a gay singer once wrote: "That joke isn't funny anymore." Stern Smile Wasn't that lyric about suicide? Actually, Morrissey himself has never made a definite statement about his sexuality (apart from his choice of celibacy). Most people assume that he's gay, and it's probably a reasonable assumption, but I'm sure you'd agree he probably would not wish to be referred to as a "gay singer". His own words (not to prove any specific point, just because it's appropriate): "I don't recognise such terms as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and I think it's important that there's someone in pop music who's like that. These words do great damage, they confuse people and they make people feel unhappy, so I want to do away with them."

Now this is a real discussion- thank you, Peter 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 02:55

Why use the word "gay"?

Why not use the word "black", or "muslim".

"Oh, I say, old chap, prog-rock is soooo muslim."

"But don't you just hate rap? - it's autistic"

"I think DISCO is as Christian as it gets - yeuuuw!"

Why not bring back words that have dropped out of circulation?

"I hate Boy bands - they're such niggers"

"That George Bush - he's a spastic"

Surely no-one would be offended by any of this???

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 07:55

Certif1ed illustrates the point just fine.

Poking harmless fun at the 'camp' is one thing but using the term gay to describe something thats crap, is unfair. We've had our laugh lets move on.

Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 09:05

SmileThanks, Blacksword. Cert, your examples illustrate my point clearly and succinctly -- well done! I don't like to see the term for any identifiable group become a generic insult. (I have seen the slang term for people from my province of Canada used as a generic word for "stupid person" or "yokel," so I know of this issue at firsthand!) Identifying and stigmatizing a group or minority  can help enable their persecution: Don't forget the pink triangles that homosexuals were made to wear in the Nazi death camps, Gdub -- careful who you "get into bed with." I really think, for example, that your so firmly allying yourself with the strident fundamentalist and anti-gay Christian Republican right wing is either incredibly callous, or hopelessly naive of you! "I like their fiscal policies," you will say -- well, German big business liked Hitler's fiscal policies too, and the trains ran on time. (I use Hitler's Germany to make a point. I don't mean to thereby make light of the Holocaust, or equate Republicans with Nazis -- though some of the more intolerant stripe would seem to have been comfortable in that environment!) How long can you look the other way (at your bankbook, I suppose) when your fellow gays are demonized by prominent members of the party you so publicly support? Stern Smile

On issues like this, I try to follow my conscience. Believe it or not, I also approach them (here) with trepidation, because: 1 - You folks don't KNOW me, nor I, you. 2 - There is no tone of voice, facial expression, or body language in type. These are essential components of human discourse -- Emoticons can only convey so much. 3 - I'm still not sure that such debates, on a music forum, accomplish anything, or even belong here. 4 - I'm here to share a love of good music (and yes, of words too!Embarrassed), make some "friends," and have some laughs. I've had about all the "what is prog/why is this band proggier/better than that band?"-type debate that I can stomach. Such arguments are circular, never-ending, and always come down to individual taste. I like Yes better than ELP -- you don't: what of it? Stern Smile

Finally, James, you clarified your position very well. We are not nearly as polarized in our positions as I had feared. I also want to thank you for not turning our "debate" into a mud-slinging match. I was a trifle nervous after making such a strong post as I did above, but again, I was following my conscience.

For me (and I'm especially thinking of Gdub, now) there's a big difference between strongly disagreeing with another on any given (serious) issue, and actively disliking that person. I don't truly dislike anyone here, because, again, I don't know any of you.Ying Yang

 Geek Now, I'd like to just be a silly, wordy proghole again for a while, OK folks? Stop making me feel compelled to discuss such serious, inflamatory, and non-Genesis-related topics!WinkLOL

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 09:50

Good talk, Rusty

Isn't "spastic" a perfectly good word to use? I've only heard it used as insulting slang once or twice ("spaz" is a little more familiar to me, and I haven't yet heard any complaints on behalf of the seizure-prone). But "nigger" has a long way to go before it's used as regularly or as innocuously as "gay", although within the black community it has become conditionally acceptable...although when the Mayor of D.C. was persuaded to fire his second in command for using the word "niggardly"- that was the precise moment I knew we'd become too irrationally afraid of words (look it up...it has nothing to do with race whatsoever).

In my opinion the answer is more usage of 'scary' words- to render their negative connotations powerless- and better understanding of language to begin with. I don't usually use "gay" or "lame"...but mainly just because it sounds juvenile, like a slightly more advanced version of "poopoo" and "peepee". A thread titled "____ is gay" instantly reveals the thread starter as somewhat less than serious or articulate, whereas if it was called "_____ is stupid" it just wouldn't have the same ring to it.

But I guess even that would be unfair to people who are sensitive about being called stupid. Which is most of us, really, but only until we grew up.

Back to prog issues now- I know when to quit, and sometimes I actually do 



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 14:40

I cannot equate the use of "gay" with the use of "stupid", as its current use is simply to describe a body of people - as per the point of my little list. Stupid is not really a recognised condition, as far as I am aware.

I must admit to a certain annoyance that a word which was previously packed with innocence was hijacked, but I do have gay friends and think it incredible that anyone would interchange "crap" with people.

What word do we replace "gay" with, if "gay" means crap? Homosexual is practically an insult, as is Queer, Shirt-lifter, Back-door burglar, Chutney-Ferret and every other term I've heard used by other practicing heterosexuals. James is right - use of these words is juvenile.

Spastic became an absolute no-no of a word in the U.K. in the late 1980s - even to describe a spastic person. Nowadays, of course, it has little impact, exactly because of the dropping of that use. This situation came about because of the words' overuse in the late 1970s, following a Blue Peter interview with a disabled fellow named Joey Deacon.

The word suddenly fell into alarmingly common use to describe anyone that was being stupid or had made a mistake, e.g. "You utter spastic", "What a Joey Deacon", simply "Deacon" or even "Spasmo".

Follow this link for enlightenment. If you find it offensive in any way, then my work is done.

 

Now I will shut up about this subject (promise!)

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 14:46

Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Could you please be more specific, Gdub, and do you speak for all gay people, much like James can (supposedly) see into the minds of others? Confused

I will explain it in the simplest way possible for you Peter..what other way would you expect from me?

I am going to use an episode of ALL in The Family as an example. Please stay with me now...Meathead met the Jefferson's son(a black guy) and kept trying to warm up to the guy by acting as though he was hip to the black cause(quite strong in those days) and the black guy(sorry..I do not recall his name) got fed up with Meathead and asked him to treat him like you would treat anyone else.

I do not want people walking on eggshells when the gay issue gets brought up because it may hurt my feelings. I also think I do speak for most gay people when I tell you to knock off the politically correct BS. I KNOW alot more gay people than you do so don't even pretend to think you know more about this either Peter. Just treat me and anyone else who is gay like you would do with your straight friends as well.

I have lots of straight friends and the gay issue comes up maybe 2-3/year....it is usually not a factor or even on our minds. I regret even coming out because you guys can't seem to handle it anyway. Emdiar was right...it wasn't appropriate for this forum. I made a mistake. Sorry!! So the best thing you can do is just drop the whole damn subject and let it not resurface again if it makes you feel so uncomfortable. Your discomfort is what we gays hate!!!!

P.S...I have never knocked one person on here for voting for Kerry so quit attacking my political beliefs. I am NOT niave and I stay very much in touch with the issues..democrat/republican/gay..etc. I listen to more news radio than I do prog. I resent you calling me ignorant just  because I can't  eloquently express myself as well as you!!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:14

Suddenly there is a movement towards Reed against Intrinsic Republican Bigotry!

Reedism, hum I like that.

Mr Rideout has merely echoed what I was trying to get through to you last month. He just says it so much less aggressively than I do! How can an intelligent gay man vote Republican? Or black man? Or Christian, or Muslim Or HUMAN BEING???????

A UPS driver? Voting Republican? Must be a six figure paycheckConfused

Why are gays so gay?Wink




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:24
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

Suddenly there is a movement towards Reed against Intrinsic Republican Bigotry!

Reedism, hum I like that.

Mr Rideout has merely echoed what I was trying to get through to you last month. He just says it so much less aggressively than I do! How can an intelligent gay man vote Republican? Or black man? Or Christian, or Muslim Or HUMAN BEING???????

A UPS driver? Voting Republican? Must be a six figure paycheckConfused

Why are gays so gay?Wink

I refuse to get into another political rumble with you so back off buddy!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:33

Dont forget the clock is ticking......give him a second term and you'll be running from the dogs

Dont forget i told you so!




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:38
I wouldn't worry about my vote. I live in Illinois and highly doubt that our electoral votes will go to Bush. They almost  always go to the dems so my vote means nada.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:42
PROJECTED RESULT

George W Bush: 39

John Kerry: 3


5 of 51 states called, inc DC

 

It's early doors but I am getting worried!Cry

Fear my wrath! Angry

 




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:49
Originally posted by Reed Lover Reed Lover wrote:

PROJECTED RESULT

George W Bush: 39

John Kerry: 3


5 of 51 states called, inc DC

 

It's early doors but I am getting worried!Cry

Fear my wrath! Angry

 

It's way too early to concern yourself. Our news channels are not even willing to give out any electoral results thus far. Voting isn't even over yet. Although the late votes are usually republicans because we have jobs to go to(ya lazy I don't want to earn anything...just give me free stuff dems) Right now it is too close to call for every friggin state it seems. Man..one botcched up election and now we have a bunch of timid news networks.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 19:51

Returning to the "gay"issue. I always understood that if someone said for eg "Shakespeare is so gay" they meant it was a bit lame!

Just thought I'd clear that misunderstanding up for you all!Confused

I dont understand the fuss!Wink




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2004 at 20:32
Originally posted by gdub411 gdub411 wrote:

Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Could you please be more specific, Gdub, and do you speak for all gay people, much like James can (supposedly) see into the minds of others? Confused

Ok, we have a misunderstanding here. I'll try to defuse the situation:

I will explain it in the simplest way possible for you Peter..what other way would you expect from me?

What I wanted was for you to tell me what part of James' post you agreed with, or what part of mine you didn't. What I especially wanted to know (and still don't know) is whether or not you and your gay friends are OK with the word by which you identify yourselves to the world, becoming synonymous with stupid or "lame."

If people started to use "Canadian" as a synonym for "idiot," for example, I would most certainly NOT be OK with it. 

I am going to use an episode of ALL in The Family as an example. Please stay with me now...Meathead met the Jefferson's son(a black guy) and kept trying to warm up to the guy by acting as though he was hip to the black cause(quite strong in those days) and the black guy(sorry..I do not recall his name) got fed up with Meathead and asked him to treat him like you would treat anyone else.

That is how I routinely treat gays. When they seek to draw attention to their gayness, they are making it an issue, not me. You have made your sexual orientation central to a disproportionate number of your posts here, I believe.

I do not want people walking on eggshells when the gay issue gets brought up because it may hurt my feelings. I also think I do speak for most gay people when I tell you to knock off the politically correct BS.

Again, I am an educator, who works with people's sons and daughters, and people of diverse races and socio-economic status. In the interest of establishing an educational environment that is conducive to learning, tolerance, respect, and inclusion, it is not mere "politically-correct BS" for me. When a student calls another "gay" as an insult, or condemns a book as "gay," especially when I KNOW that there are real gays in the room (or in the wider world, it doesn't matter), my silence will be taken as a signal that such bigotry is acceptable, or even condoned. (Young teens are especially vulnerable to this type of abuse, and suicides and running away from home are an all-too-common result. There are young people HERE too, who are not as secure/comfortable in their sexuality as we middle-aged folk -- remember that. My name (not a fake one) appears here, and I am an Archive Reviewer. I don't want my name linked to bigotry of ANY kind. This attitude of mine doesn't just apply to the classroom. I used to work in a cancer clinic, where my boss was a black Jamaican lady. One day, a white male patient asked me (seeing my white skin and blue eyes, I suppose) how I could stand to take orders from such a boss (ie female, black, and an immigrant). Cancer or no cancer, I let him know that I respected my boss, had no problems with her authority over me, and was offended by his assuming that I must share his prejudices. I have been anti-bigotry long before the term "politically correct" was coined.

 I KNOW alot more gay people than you do so don't even pretend to think you know more about this either Peter. Just treat me and anyone else who is gay like you would do with your straight friends as well.

I won't compare numbers with you -- no doubt you do have more gay acquaintences, and know more about what it means to be gay in North America than I do. Still, that doesn't mean that I know nothing about the issue.

Again, I'm not perfect, but I try treat others fairly, as I would want to be treated. If, however, they seek to make their gayness an issue, then it IS, perforce, an issue. If, for example, someone took pains to let all here know that she was a former Yes groupie, and had had oral sex with Steve Howe, and was still infatuated with the man, then she would be making it an issue, for the rest of us to notice, and thus making her past fair game for all to talk about -- fair enough.

I have lots of straight friends and the gay issue comes up maybe 2-3/year....it is usually not a factor or even on our minds. I regret even coming out because you guys can't seem to handle it anyway. Emdiar was right...it wasn't appropriate for this forum. I made a mistake. Sorry!! So the best thing you can do is just drop the whole damn subject and let it not resurface again if it makes you feel so uncomfortable. Your discomfort is what we gays hate!!!!

I am not uncomfortable with your gayness -- if anything, I find it interesting, much the same way that I find it interesting that some of the Forum members live in Peru. I have never met a gay prog fan before -- you yourself suggested that your taste in music was atypical for a gay man.

Long before you joined here, I had always assumed that some of the Forum members were gay -- statistically, there pretty well had to be some. In two different "Civility" threads (mine, and Maani's) I had said that we were a diverse lot, with differing nationalities, political persuasions, and sexual orientations. I worked in hospitals for 15 years, BTW -- I have know PLENTY of gay people (still do) and have liked and befriended some, been indifferent toward more, and disliked others -- just as with straight co-workers. You were simply the first gay here to actively draw attention to his status. I have never posted here, BTW, about my having sex with my wife, or former girlfriends -- why would I? It's irrelevant.

P.S...I have never knocked one person on here for voting for Kerry so quit attacking my political beliefs. I am NOT niave and I stay very much in touch with the issues..democrat/republican/gay..etc. I listen to more news radio than I do prog. I resent you calling me ignorant just  because I can't  eloquently express myself as well as you!!!

Fair enough. I apologise for the political "diatribe, and for presuming to lecture you. Vote with your own conscience -- just vote. Still, your sexuality and republicanism are a conundrum for more than just me here, but it's not a statistical impossibility -- merely an improbability. Gayness seems to be central to your identity, but you don't let it colour your political thinking. Again, your choice. Hey, there are black republicans too!

Finally, not ONCE have I called you "ignorant," or made fun of your writing abilities. If I had to professionally classify your writing level, I'd say you were a "high average, and ready for post-secondary." (An official classification -- NOT an insult, BTW.)

As Maani would say,

PEACE!Smile



Edited by Peter Rideout
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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