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progkidjoel
Prog Reviewer
Joined: March 02 2009
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 19643
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 00:31 |
el dingo wrote:
What exactly is the nature of the problem? Are you having trouble placing bets 'cos you're underage? I assume you are |
DON'T JUDGE ME
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 00:35 |
I made an assumption Joel, not a judgement. If you want to end up like Vompatti, you are perfectly free to do so. I must warn you that when the Winona fixation starts to bite, you'll be feeling very insecure.
And if you can't walk past a sheep without thinking impure thoughts buddy, it's too late.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008
Location: Declined
Status: Offline
Points: 16715
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 00:36 |
I hate wombats. THERE I SAID IT!
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 00:37 |
Dr. Dingo, I want to thank you for your advice yesterday night, I came out of bed very fresh and not tired at all.
There is another problem though. When I looked outside today, I saw that the garden of my house was full of wombats. I've counted them, and there are over 30 of them. Those pesky creatures are eating all the plants in the garden and they're constantly having sex! What to do about this, dr. dingo?
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 00:44 |
Henry Plainview wrote:
I hate wombats. THERE I SAID IT! |
You, Sir, sound perfectly fit and healthy in both mind and body. Please leave the surgery with all good wishes.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 00:45 |
floydispink wrote:
Dr. Dingo, I want to thank you for your advice yesterday night, I came out of bed very fresh and not tired at all.
There is another problem though. When I looked outside today, I saw that the garden of my house was full of wombats. I've counted them, and there are over 30 of them. Those pesky creatures are eating all the plants in the garden and they're constantly having sex! What to do about this, dr. dingo? |
I must check with a learned colleague on this one (not really I'm late for work). Advice on this very serious problem will follow on my return.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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progkidjoel
Prog Reviewer
Joined: March 02 2009
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 19643
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 02:55 |
^I'd recommend killing the wombats and feeding them to the poor! Kill two birds with one stone
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The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 07:06 |
I've got some serious problems. Todey I went to school and the wombats have been following me. They were waiting for me outside my classroom and followed me even in the bus. After school I went to a record store, and again the wombats were following me. Right now they're looking at me through my window in a very strange way. Dr. dingo... I think they're in love with me! What should I do?
Not Joel's option, that's too violent!
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:22 |
Good afternoon y'all.
First of all I'd like to introduce Nurse Katya, who helps me out with advice concerning some particular branches of my valuable work.
You will find that Katya is very knowledgeable and all too happy to help. The only thing she will not tolerate is sexist comments, so none of those please. I've just asked Katya to put the kettle on, and as soon as she has made the coffee i will proceed with surgery
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:33 |
floydispink wrote:
I've got some serious problems. Todey I went to school and the wombats have been following me. They were waiting for me outside my classroom and followed me even in the bus. After school I went to a record store, and again the wombats were following me. Right now they're looking at me through my window in a very strange way. Dr. dingo... I think they're in love with me! What should I do?
Not Joel's option, that's too violent! |
Lets face it, wombats are a pest. Practically vermin in fact. Do not dismiss the advice of ProgkidJoel too lightly, grasshopper. If they are capable of buying a bus ticket they must be unusually intelligent examples of the species, so do not underestimate them. But the fact that they HAVE SEX IN YOUR GARDEN cannot be tolerated.
I suggest you try and speak with their leader. He will be the one with the white fur as opposed to the dull grey extra-smelly mangy fur of the rest. If he does not understand or fails to comply with your reasoned request to f*** off and bug somebody else (taking his filthy tribe with him) I suggest a trip to your local military hardware store will provide the perfect answer for only a small outlay.
There's no need to be cruel, a nice armalite or AK47 will do to kill them cleanly - and think of the fun you can have deciding which order to kill them in
Then you have two choices. You can find the poor and feed the wombats to them as Joel suggests, or you can simply sling them in the bin.
Final point. Do as the fighting Danes of old did. Let ONE WOMBAT escape so he can tell all his miscreant rodent mates not to mess with FloydisPink. Your immediate environs will remain wombat-free for the forseeable future.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam
Joined: April 29 2006
Location: Atlantais
Status: Offline
Points: 29630
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:34 |
Nurse me, nurse me, Katya.
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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:36 |
^
I'm afraid Katya no longer does private consultations after a nasty incident involving the Lord Mayor of Atlantis so you'll have to at least pretend to have something wrong with you first.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:37 |
el dingo wrote:
floydispink wrote:
I've got some serious problems. Todey I went to school and the wombats have been following me. They were waiting for me outside my classroom and followed me even in the bus. After school I went to a record store, and again the wombats were following me. Right now they're looking at me through my window in a very strange way. Dr. dingo... I think they're in love with me! What should I do?
Not Joel's option, that's too violent! |
Lets face it, wombats are a pest. Practically vermin in fact. Do not dismiss the advice of ProgkidJoel too lightly, grasshopper. If they are capable of buying a bus ticket they must be unusually intelligent examples of the species, so do not underestimate them. But the fact that they HAVE SEX IN YOUR GARDEN cannot be tolerated.
I suggest you try and speak with their leader. He will be the one with the white fur as opposed to the dull grey extra-smelly mangy fur of the rest. If he does not understand or fails to comply with your reasoned request to f*** off and bug somebody else (taking his filthy tribe with him) I suggest a trip to your local military hardware store will provide the perfect answer for only a small outlay.
There's no need to be cruel, a nice armalite or AK47 will do to kill them cleanly - and think of the fun you can have deciding which order to kill them in
Then you have two choices. You can find the poor and feed the wombats to them as Joel suggests, or you can simply sling them in the bin.
Final point. Do as the fighting Danes of old did. Let ONE WOMBAT escape so he can tell all his miscreant rodent mates not to mess with FloydisPink. Your immediate environs will remain wombat-free for the forseeable future. |
That might work Dr. dingo, I have noticed the wombat leader already, and I'll tell him what I think of their behavior. I'll tell you what the results are if I'm finished.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:40 |
Henry Plainview wrote:
Start betting your albums, you'll realize their value more than the value of money and you will soon stop. |
Sound advice. Just gamble away your Yes family stuff first so you save the valuable stuff for when you've wised up.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 09:42 |
floydispink wrote:
el dingo wrote:
floydispink wrote:
I've got some serious problems. Todey I went to school and the wombats have been following me. They were waiting for me outside my classroom and followed me even in the bus. After school I went to a record store, and again the wombats were following me. Right now they're looking at me through my window in a very strange way. Dr. dingo... I think they're in love with me! What should I do?
Not Joel's option, that's too violent! |
Lets face it, wombats are a pest. Practically vermin in fact. Do not dismiss the advice of ProgkidJoel too lightly, grasshopper. If they are capable of buying a bus ticket they must be unusually intelligent examples of the species, so do not underestimate them. But the fact that they HAVE SEX IN YOUR GARDEN cannot be tolerated.
I suggest you try and speak with their leader. He will be the one with the white fur as opposed to the dull grey extra-smelly mangy fur of the rest. If he does not understand or fails to comply with your reasoned request to f*** off and bug somebody else (taking his filthy tribe with him) I suggest a trip to your local military hardware store will provide the perfect answer for only a small outlay.
There's no need to be cruel, a nice armalite or AK47 will do to kill them cleanly - and think of the fun you can have deciding which order to kill them in
Then you have two choices. You can find the poor and feed the wombats to them as Joel suggests, or you can simply sling them in the bin.
Final point. Do as the fighting Danes of old did. Let ONE WOMBAT escape so he can tell all his miscreant rodent mates not to mess with FloydisPink. Your immediate environs will remain wombat-free for the forseeable future. |
That might work Dr. dingo, I have noticed the wombat leader already, and I'll tell him what I think of their behavior. I'll tell you what the results are if I'm finished.
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Nurse Katya asks me to point out that you must not for one second treat this creature as a cute cuddly thing. It is the enemy and you must drive it and its cohorts away or kill them. Any doubts - straight to military hardware and follow the instructions on the box.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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jampa17
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2009
Location: Guatemala
Status: Offline
Points: 6802
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 10:28 |
Dr. Dingo... I'm sleeping in my work office, what do you advice me to not falling in the lands of dreams right now...??? kill wombats maybe...???
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Change the program inside... Stay in silence is a crime.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 10:44 |
jampa17 wrote:
Dr. Dingo... I'm sleeping in my work office, what do you advice me to not falling in the lands of dreams right now...??? kill wombats maybe...??? |
No Jampa I do not advise you to kill wombats - you have none in your office for a start and by the time you had found some to kill it would be time to go home anyway.
I simply advise two matchsticks. Prop your eyelids open with them to stay awake for when the boss comes round. Banish all pleasant thoughts from your mind - think not of music, football, women. beer or other things you like, but think of something truly hideous, like Love Beach by ELP. Focus your mind on just how bad that album is and before you know it... time to go home
Although if you do happen across a wombat, there's nothing to stop you killing it anyway
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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jampa17
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2009
Location: Guatemala
Status: Offline
Points: 6802
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 10:53 |
Thanks Dr... it's a good advise... I would remember that... thanks... you are wise mister...
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Change the program inside... Stay in silence is a crime.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 11:10 |
Thank you Jampa
I am only wise because this guy taught me all I know (through my spiritual medium, FloydisPink)
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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ExittheLemming
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 19 2007
Location: Penal Colony
Status: Offline
Points: 11420
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Posted: November 30 2009 at 11:17 |
Dear Dr Dingo
Is it true that when the two ends of a skin rash meet, you die ?
Does listening to Prog lead to varicose veins ?
Does your nurse do house calls ?
Worried (Australia)
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