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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:02 |
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Petrovsk Mizinski
Prog Reviewer
Joined: December 24 2007
Location: Ukraine
Status: Offline
Points: 25210
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:02 |
James wrote:
Yep.
He's also put a ban on her using the laptop this weekend. To be fair, I'd be annoyed if she used it all the time when she's supposed to be sociable with her family and stuff (it's her sister's birthday). However, using it once or twice for a short period wouldn't be that bad.
Her sister isn't too sure about him. Says he's weird and boring. That's how I feel about him too.
Not sure how her family feels though... I'm going to try and find out via said sister when Kim's gone.
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This is kinda really reminding me of my mate Ben's situation with Sheridan, geezus and it means your situation kinda makes more sense to me in a way now. World's always gonna turn in weird ways.
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:03 |
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:04 |
Basically, I 'called Kim on Friday and she was about to have her dinner, so I said I'd 'phone her back later. Dan then text me 20 minutes later asking me if I can let him and Kim work stuff out.
I mean... all I was doing was calling her. I wasn't interfering. Just seeing how she was. I wasn't planning on texting her that much anyhow. I was out myself and didn't want to constantly text. That's why I called her instead.
So when her sister text me later, saying Dan had her 'phone, it pissed me off!
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:06 |
James wrote:
Basically, I 'called Kim on Friday and she was about to have her dinner, so I said I'd 'phone her back later. Dan then text me 20 minutes later asking me if I can let him and Kim work stuff out.
I mean... all I was doing was calling her. I wasn't interfering. Just seeing how she was. I wasn't planning on texting her that much anyhow. I was out myself and didn't want to constantly text. That's why I called her instead.
So when her sister text me later, saying Dan had her 'phone, it pissed me off!
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That is completely ridiculous. How could you do that to someone you love unless you felt insecure about something? What's the reason behind that? Does he feel like he has to try to make his relationship stable constantly by cutting Kim off by everything or is he just a paranoid person to begin with?
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Petrovsk Mizinski
Prog Reviewer
Joined: December 24 2007
Location: Ukraine
Status: Offline
Points: 25210
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:06 |
MovingPictures07 wrote:
HughesJB4 wrote:
James wrote:
Yep.
He's also put a ban on her using the laptop this weekend. To be fair, I'd be annoyed if she used it all the time when she's supposed to be sociable with her family and stuff (it's her sister's birthday). However, using it once or twice for a short period wouldn't be that bad.
Her sister isn't too sure about him. Says he's weird and boring. That's how I feel about him too.
Not sure how her family feels though... I'm going to try and find out via said sister when Kim's gone.
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This is kinda really reminding me of my mate Ben's situation with Sheridan, geezus and it means your situation kinda makes more sense to me in a way now. World's always gonna turn in weird ways.
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What is it with boyfriends' authoritarian aspects? I never understood it. 
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No, Ben was never going out with her. As far as I was concerned, she was allowed to be with anyone she wanted. Heck, Ben got severely angry at me because me and her nearly had sex , but come on, she was single, so was I, he got angry just because he was in love with her, utter bullsh*t.
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:12 |
HughesJB4 wrote:
MovingPictures07 wrote:
HughesJB4 wrote:
James wrote:
Yep.
He's also put a ban on her using the laptop this weekend. To be fair, I'd be annoyed if she used it all the time when she's supposed to be sociable with her family and stuff (it's her sister's birthday). However, using it once or twice for a short period wouldn't be that bad.
Her sister isn't too sure about him. Says he's weird and boring. That's how I feel about him too.
Not sure how her family feels though... I'm going to try and find out via said sister when Kim's gone.
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This is kinda really reminding me of my mate Ben's situation with Sheridan, geezus and it means your situation kinda makes more sense to me in a way now. World's always gonna turn in weird ways.
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What is it with boyfriends' authoritarian aspects? I never understood it. 
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No, Ben was never going out with her. As far as I was concerned, she was allowed to be with anyone she wanted. Heck, Ben got severely angry at me because me and her nearly had sex , but come on, she was single, so was I, he got angry just because he was in love with her, utter bullsh*t.
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Well, I meant in general (mainly referring to Kim's situation, as it's not too rare). It's jealousy or lack of rationality (listening only to emotions) or any combination of things, I'd imagine, and it happens very often. If I loved someone even more than anything, she could still do whatever she wanted. If I love her that much, shouldn't I realize that she has her own life and should be allowed to spend it in accordance to what she wants? Why interfere with that? There's a difference between being there as a friend when the person needs or wants it and being over-protective/over-bearing on the other person. I agree with you, that is bullsh*t, especially since she was single. Now... if they were dating and she has an affair... that is still her choice, but then Ben may justifiably feel about that any way he wants. Just letting that happen wouldn't be very smart and his emotions would bottle up, since that's a completely different matter.
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Bj-1
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 04 2005
Location: No(r)Way
Status: Offline
Points: 31646
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:15 |
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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Petrovsk Mizinski
Prog Reviewer
Joined: December 24 2007
Location: Ukraine
Status: Offline
Points: 25210
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:15 |
Indeed Alex:) Not much to add to that, but pretty much right on.
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:16 |
MovingPictures07 wrote:
James wrote:
Basically, I 'called Kim on Friday and she was about to have her dinner, so I said I'd 'phone her back later. Dan then text me 20 minutes later asking me if I can let him and Kim work stuff out.
I mean... all I was doing was calling her. I wasn't interfering. Just seeing how she was. I wasn't planning on texting her that much anyhow. I was out myself and didn't want to constantly text. That's why I called her instead.
So when her sister text me later, saying Dan had her 'phone, it pissed me off!
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That is completely ridiculous. How could you do that to someone you love unless you felt insecure about something?
What's the reason behind that? Does he feel like he has to try to make his relationship stable constantly by cutting Kim off by everything or is he just a paranoid person to begin with?
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I think he's naturally paranoid anyhow. She was the one who wanted the break, due to distance. However, as far as I am concerned, there's more to it than that. If it was just a case of distance, why would he get so worked up and almost plead for her to come back? She's said to me that she's in love with him (  ) and that she'll wait 7 or 8 or 9 months until he moves back to Swindon permanently. He obviously wants her now. That's understandable. However, they're pretty much still a couple, even though they're on a break. He feels like they've properly split-up, I think. Plus I'm her best mate, the one guy who knows everything (even about the relationship). He probably feels threatened by me (and others, 'cause there are other guys she talks too as well). So by taking her 'phone away, he's cutting off her friends. The threats. The same with the laptop. She'd be chatting to me on it (although I've barely been online this weekend) or others... he wants her to himself, he hasn't seen her in weeks. However, she needs her space and stuff too. Her sister said she tried to go on her laptop a few times and Dan basically stopped her doing it. I know what he's doing and he may think I'm naive and not know but I do. Kim is naive though and isn't exactly sure what's going on.
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:16 |
Bj-1 wrote:
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Hello, Blowie. How's it going?
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Petrovsk Mizinski
Prog Reviewer
Joined: December 24 2007
Location: Ukraine
Status: Offline
Points: 25210
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:17 |
Bj-1 wrote:
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ULK ULK
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:19 |
HughesJB4 wrote:
Indeed Alex:) Not much to add to that, but pretty much right on.
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 With how much I know in regards to all of that, it's a wonder I'm single.  Oh, yeah, the prog thing. Not to mention the fact that I'm hardly ever seen on campus outside of classes, the fact that I don't want a relationship right now, and of course, I'm not normal.  I'm content.
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Bj-1
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 04 2005
Location: No(r)Way
Status: Offline
Points: 31646
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:19 |
Doing fine, saw the Strawbs acoustic live yesterday. Pure magic! 
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:20 |
Finally Blowie has brought some normality into the Suede Room!
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Petrovsk Mizinski
Prog Reviewer
Joined: December 24 2007
Location: Ukraine
Status: Offline
Points: 25210
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:21 |
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:22 |
James wrote:
MovingPictures07 wrote:
James wrote:
Basically, I 'called Kim on Friday and she was about to have her dinner, so I said I'd 'phone her back later. Dan then text me 20 minutes later asking me if I can let him and Kim work stuff out.
I mean... all I was doing was calling her. I wasn't interfering. Just seeing how she was. I wasn't planning on texting her that much anyhow. I was out myself and didn't want to constantly text. That's why I called her instead.
So when her sister text me later, saying Dan had her 'phone, it pissed me off!
|
That is completely ridiculous. How could you do that to someone you love unless you felt insecure about something?
What's the reason behind that? Does he feel like he has to try to make his relationship stable constantly by cutting Kim off by everything or is he just a paranoid person to begin with?
|
I think he's naturally paranoid anyhow. She was the one who wanted the break, due to distance. However, as far as I am concerned, there's more to it than that. If it was just a case of distance, why would he get so worked up and almost plead for her to come back? She's said to me that she's in love with him ( ) and that she'll wait 7 or 8 or 9 months until he moves back to Swindon permanently. He obviously wants her now. That's understandable. However, they're pretty much still a couple, even though they're on a break. He feels like they've properly split-up, I think.
Plus I'm her best mate, the one guy who knows everything (even about the relationship). He probably feels threatened by me (and others, 'cause there are other guys she talks too as well).
So by taking her 'phone away, he's cutting off her friends. The threats. The same with the laptop. She'd be chatting to me on it (although I've barely been online this weekend) or others... he wants her to himself, he hasn't seen her in weeks.
However, she needs her space and stuff too. Her sister said she tried to go on her laptop a few times and Dan basically stopped her doing it.
I know what he's doing and he may think I'm naive and not know but I do. Kim is naive though and isn't exactly sure what's going on.
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You've hit the nail on the head; I can tell what he's doing just by you relating the issue to me and I entirely agree with what you said (because it's right). Ironically enough, he doesn't realize by him doing all of this, he actually is creating his own demise. When that does happen, whether he will understand it was because of his own acts or continue to be paranoid and think it was someone else's doing is another story.
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Bj-1
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 04 2005
Location: No(r)Way
Status: Offline
Points: 31646
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:23 |
MovingPictures07 wrote:
HughesJB4 wrote:
Indeed Alex:) Not much to add to that, but pretty much right on.
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With how much I know in regards to all of that, it's a wonder I'm single. 
Oh, yeah, the prog thing. Not to mention the fact that I'm hardly ever seen on campus outside of classes, the fact that I don't want a relationship right now, and of course, I'm not normal. 
I'm content.
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'Live your life while you're young' is my motto. Having such commitments can wait a couple of more years if you ask me.
If I wanna get laid, I just go to a party anyways.. 
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:23 |
Bj-1 wrote:
Doing fine, saw the Strawbs acoustic live yesterday. Pure magic! 
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Awesome.  I really do need to hear them too... I'm feeling a new, long phase of musical discovery here soon!
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: November 02 2008 at 10:24 |
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