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Topic ClosedFantasy story: Close To The Edge part II

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Uroboros View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 19 2007 at 17:50
ClapClapClap
Wonderful work. Thank you for the constant entertainment over the past few weeks. I checked this thread daily to see when you added a new act, and it was always a great pleasure to read on.
The ending is very nicely done and very suprising (to me at least) - I didn't expect there would be so many nuances and secret actions behind the scenes. And somehow you managed to make each character seem plausible; they all behaved like one would expect from their real selves (as we've come to know them from their actual biographies).
Steve was kind of left to fall out of the story towards the end, but then again he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who cares much about intrigues. I'm glad Bill eventually got an important role in the story and that he was the one to actually outwit the joker by pulling the right strings until the end, when he closes the circle.
Thanks again and if you have any new ideas and time to elaborate on them, please share. Smile
Tous les chemins
qui s’ouvrent à moi
ne mènent à rien si tu n’es plus là
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 20 2007 at 03:40
Thanks again, everybody, for the kind comments!
 
Originally posted by Uroboros Uroboros wrote:

ClapClapClap
Wonderful work. Thank you for the constant entertainment over the past few weeks. I checked this thread daily to see when you added a new act (Really Shocked Big%20smile ! Great to hear!) , and it was always a great pleasure to read on. Great, thanks!
The ending is very nicely done and very suprising (to me at least) - I didn't expect there would be so many nuances and secret actions behind the scenes. I tried to: I didn't want to go for the obvious. And somehow you managed to make each character seem plausible; they all behaved like one would expect from their real selves (as we've come to know them from their actual biographies).  Well, I did read a lot in the Yes biographies, read a lot of interviews through the years, and was inspired by a video documentary as well (Yesyears), where you saw most of them in the flesh. And most of the Yes members, old and new, are very colourful people themselves. I don't know any band which has such colourful people as Yes. Except for Genesis.  
Steve was kind of left to fall out of the story towards the end, but then again he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who cares much about intrigues. True: the problem is that I had too much characters. I had to focus on a few characters. Steve is also one of the most difficult persons to use in the story, because in some ways he was always central to things in Yes, and at the other hand... He also had this 'trait' that he is somewhat living in his own world. I still remember the comment Dan Hedges gave in his Yes-biography about Steve's involvement in Tales. Steve couldn't understand the fuzz. But then again, his guitar parts were impeccable as always. LOL  At the end of the story, I had to focus a bit more. The idea was also that in the end some people just lost interest. Only Bill was wide awake, and he got Jon as a companion. I'm glad Bill eventually got an important role in the story and that he was the one to actually outwit the joker by pulling the right strings until the end, when he closes the circle. Yes, the story had to be as natural as possible, and if anyone should be the most clever person of them all, it had to be Bill. Bill was and is one of my favourite Yes characters, and for the sake of the story I had to let him go on day 1 (for me it was the most natural thing that he was the first one to leave; well, he or maybe Peter Banks or Patrick Moraz). I did that somewhat unwilling, and I decided to give Bill another role in the story. He was too witty to be fooled by any joker, and to be controlled for too long by his emotions (Peter Banks was striking me as a much more emotional, impulsive character. At the end of the day, Bill was only determined and strong-willed). At least, that's how I see the characters.
Thanks again and if you have any new ideas and time to elaborate on them, please share. Smile I will! Thanks for your extensive comments. Big%20smile
 


Edited by Moogtron III - April 20 2007 at 03:42
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 20 2007 at 12:19
Marcel, thank you for providing a great story. I enjoyed it immensely right from the beginning through to the end.
I have a group of friends I grew up with who all are big Yes fans, most of us have seen Yes 4 or 5 times. Although I have encouraged all of them to visit this website none have become members, nor do they visit anymore - not their cup of tea I guess.
I would love to present them with your story (in 10 parts of course). It would be credited to Moogtron III. Would this be OK with you?
By the way, if you do a google search on "Moogtron III" the only return is your ProgArchives Collaborator Profile - cool!
Kryten : "'Pub'? Ah yes, A meeting place where humans attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks."
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 20 2007 at 12:32

Nice, who would have expected Peter. (or maybe...)

I'm not that big Yes fan and don't know everything about their history so some jokes  may have eluded me but it surely was one of this springs highlights and I always waited patiently for the next part. (As Uruboros, I've checked the site almost everyday - sometimes it was the only reason for logging in at PA -  except for the last week when I was away.)
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2007 at 03:52
Originally posted by Firepuck Firepuck wrote:

Marcel, thank you for providing a great story. I enjoyed it immensely right from the beginning through to the end. Great, thanks!
I have a group of friends I grew up with who all are big Yes fans, most of us have seen Yes 4 or 5 times. Although I have encouraged all of them to visit this website none have become members, nor do they visit anymore - not their cup of tea I guess. I know what you mean, I have prog friends who aren't forum visitors either.
I would love to present them with your story (in 10 parts of course). It would be credited to Moogtron III. Would this be OK with you? Yes, please do!
By the way, if you do a google search on "Moogtron III" the only return is your ProgArchives Collaborator Profile - cool! Thanks for your kind comments, Firepuck. It's really encouraging when I write a story like this.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2007 at 03:59
Originally posted by Frasse Frasse wrote:

Nice, who would have expected Peter. (or maybe...)

I'm not that big Yes fan and don't know everything about their history so some jokes  may have eluded me I must admit that I used a lot of "insider jokes", like Chris Squire always being late and doing marathon stinches in the bath, Rick who has an allergy to "Union", and being called up by Chris Squire at three in the morning (only in the story he did it with Peter). That's why I also tried to put in elements of humour that everyone would understand but it surely was one of this springs highlights and I always waited patiently for the next part. (As Uruboros, I've checked the site almost everyday - sometimes it was the only reason for logging in at PA -  except for the last week when I was away.) Amazing! I never knew that you (and others) sometimes would log in at PA just for my writings. Embarrassed Wow, well, thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story Big%20smile !
 
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Edited by Moogtron III - April 21 2007 at 04:00
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andu View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2007 at 06:08
THANK YOU!

It's been fun and educative. Smile What do you have next, for us? Big%20smile
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2007 at 08:31
Originally posted by andu andu wrote:

THANK YOU! You're welcome.  

It's been fun and educative. Thanks! Smile What do you have next, for us? Big%20smile 
Next, I don't know for sure. I've had the Yes story in my head for about half a year. I just had to write it LOL . I'm not sure what to write next. I have something in my mind, something different completely. I think I must think it over, before I put it to paper (or rather: pc, or cyberspace). But I think I'll write something in the near future. It's much fun and it's great to have an appreciative audience. Thanks, Andu!

 
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 22 2007 at 21:12
Extremely impressive story!
I enjoyed it completely
<font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR]

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 23 2007 at 03:02
Originally posted by moreitsythanyou moreitsythanyou wrote:

Extremely impressive story!
I enjoyed it completely
 
Great, thanks Big%20smile !
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 23 2007 at 10:01
Originally posted by Moogtron III Moogtron III wrote:

Originally posted by Firepuck Firepuck wrote:

Marcel, thank you for providing a great story. I enjoyed it immensely right from the beginning through to the end. Great, thanks!
I have a group of friends I grew up with who all are big Yes fans, most of us have seen Yes 4 or 5 times. Although I have encouraged all of them to visit this website none have become members, nor do they visit anymore - not their cup of tea I guess. I know what you mean, I have prog friends who aren't forum visitors either.
I would love to present them with your story (in 10 parts of course). It would be credited to Moogtron III. Would this be OK with you? Yes, please do!
By the way, if you do a google search on "Moogtron III" the only return is your ProgArchives Collaborator Profile - cool! Thanks for your kind comments, Firepuck. It's really encouraging when I write a story like this.
 
I've sent off part 1 and will follow each week with another installment. I will let you know how it is received (in around 10 or 11 weeks!).Smile
Kryten : "'Pub'? Ah yes, A meeting place where humans attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks."
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 23 2007 at 10:16
Originally posted by Firepuck Firepuck wrote:

Originally posted by Moogtron III Moogtron III wrote:

Originally posted by Firepuck Firepuck wrote:

Marcel, thank you for providing a great story. I enjoyed it immensely right from the beginning through to the end. Great, thanks!
I have a group of friends I grew up with who all are big Yes fans, most of us have seen Yes 4 or 5 times. Although I have encouraged all of them to visit this website none have become members, nor do they visit anymore - not their cup of tea I guess. I know what you mean, I have prog friends who aren't forum visitors either.
I would love to present them with your story (in 10 parts of course). It would be credited to Moogtron III. Would this be OK with you? Yes, please do!
By the way, if you do a google search on "Moogtron III" the only return is your ProgArchives Collaborator Profile - cool! Thanks for your kind comments, Firepuck. It's really encouraging when I write a story like this.
 
I've sent off part 1 and will follow each week with another installment. I will let you know how it is received (in around 10 or 11 weeks!).Smile
 
Thanks! I'd really like to know.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 23 2007 at 16:15
Bill: I tell you what we really should call it. Anything but Close To Edge ! We could call it As Far Away From The Edge As Possible.

That's my favourite part. Great story.   
¡Beware of the Bee!
   
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 23 2007 at 16:24
Originally posted by cuncuna cuncuna wrote:

Bill: I tell you what we really should call it. Anything but Close To Edge ! We could call it As Far Away From The Edge As Possible.

That's my favourite part. Great story.   
 
Thanks very much!
 
I from my part like to read your own creative thread as well (Ask Cuncuna) and had to grin a lot of times because of your answers. What you don't know: I broke my head already to find a good question to ask you. Haven't succeeded yet. LOL
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