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Jim Garten View Drop Down
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Points: 14693 		Direct Link To This Post Topic: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Posted: September 18 2006 at 07:30
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

There once was a mincer named Garten
Who was always and forever a fartin'
When he'd let loose in a room
Those near him would swoon
While the rest fled with eyes red and smartin'




'ang on...



Why you - just leave me alone; go an' your again, before I take a large stick and until you're really sorry, you .

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Points: 14693 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 18 2006 at 07:26
An Englishman, a Rabbi and a Haddock walk into a bar.

The barman says "is this some kind of a joke?"

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Points: 7113 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 14 2006 at 03:29
If the proof is in the pudding, then why does Vatican City not have a post office?
"There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson
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Points: 20239 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 14 2006 at 03:24
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Shocked Dare to correct ME, wilt thou, base churlish knave?!
 (Though I believe you're right -- but I did read about some rock star recently with a trout farm....Embarrassed)
 
 
Forsooth, thou hast asked for this:
 
There once was a Belgian  named Hugues
Who would drink every day til he'd  spew
The Chimay he would guzzle
And pour down his muzzle
What else should a faux Frenchie do?
***********************************
 
Evil Smile
 
 
LOL
 
Clap
let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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Points: 904 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 14 2006 at 02:24
Originally posted by Syzygy Syzygy wrote:

And now, a limerick:
 
There was a young man from Kent
Who swallowed a set of encyclopedias
His mother said "Ken
What have you done?
They were for supper!"


It doesn't even rhyme! Cry
Epic.
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Points: 10964 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 19:19
Originally posted by Vompatti Vompatti wrote:

^Wasn't supper ready? Shocked
 
ho ho ho
My Last.fm
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Points: 67407 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:35
^Wasn't supper ready? Shocked
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Points: 7003 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:25
And now, a limerick:
 
There was a young man from Kent
Who swallowed a set of encyclopedias
His mother said "Ken
What have you done?
They were for supper!"
'Like so many of you
I've got my doubts about how much to contribute
to the already rich among us...'

Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom


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Syzygy View Drop Down
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Points: 7003 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:24
A man went into a paint shop and asked for some blue paint.
'I'm sorry' said the shopkeeper 'but we've only got yellow paint'.
'That's OK' the man replied 'I've got my bike outside'.
'Like so many of you
I've got my doubts about how much to contribute
to the already rich among us...'

Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom


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Points: 67407 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 18:01
An elderly lady went to a shop. A shovel.
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Points: 10964 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:55
what has 9 arms and sucks?
 
Def Leppard
My Last.fm
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Points: 67407 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:50
What's the difference between a sparrow? Both legs are equally long, especially the left one.
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darkshade View Drop Down
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Points: 10964 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:40
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladeen and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama Bin Ladeen was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall round Afganistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - virtually impenetrable.

"UncleSam" says, "Fill it with water".
My Last.fm
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Points: 10964 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:36
What's the difference between Bin Laden and a bucket of sh*t?
 
THE BUCKET!
My Last.fm
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Points: 10964 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:35
Osama bin Ladeen, severely injured in an American attack, is in a US Army medical facility, when he asks the attending doctor, "Doc, when will I die?"

"Unsure of the exact time of death," his Western doctor says.

"But you will die on an American holiday."

"How do you know it will be on an American holiday?" asks the terrorist.

"Oh," said the doctor, "Any day that you die will be an American holiday.
My Last.fm
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Peter View Drop Down
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Points: 9669 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 17:03
Originally posted by <FONT color=#0000ff>Vomitpatti</FONT> Vomitpatti wrote:

This seems like a pointless thread, so I'm going to post even though I have nothing to say.
Well done!
 
 Some of the best things in life are "pointless," of little or no "practical" use -- the pointlessness is the point!
 
My dog doesn't "get" art. A bone is more lovely and useful to him, by far. He'd pee on the Mona Lisa as quickly as he would a tree.
 
 
Art is a mirror, and humour is an antidote, a sanity and humanity-preserving counterbalance to the horror of reality.
 
Or not.
 
(Heard any good 9-11 or Bin Laden jokes lately?) 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Hoorah for hokum! Wacko
 
 


Edited by Peter Rideout - September 13 2006 at 17:08
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Points: 10964 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 16:56
i just burned my tongue
My Last.fm
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Points: 67407 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 16:13
This seems like a pointless thread, so I'm going to post even though I have nothing to say.
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Angelo View Drop Down
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Points: 13244 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 16:08
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Originally posted by <font color=#0000ff>an Angel</font> an Angel wrote:

Peter not here yet? Let's hope he didn't get beat up on the way home. Then again, looking at the title of this thread, he probably fell asleep under a lamp post...
 
This one was kind of exciting, because of the potential for senseless, random violence -- and because the poster is apparently a supernatural, winged being!
 
His previous one was pretty good too, because I like salami, but ultimately he had to be rejected beause he left out the apostrophe in his possessive "peoples."
 
(I told you spelling and punctuation matter, Angelo!Geek)



Sorry, dad... Embarrassed


Edited by Angelo - September 13 2006 at 16:13
ISKC Rock Radio
I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected]
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Points: 7003 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 13 2006 at 14:37
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

Is this a dagger I see before me?
 
No, it's an axolotl. Close, but no banana.
'Like so many of you
I've got my doubts about how much to contribute
to the already rich among us...'

Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom


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