Pointless thoughts...

Belljar wrote: I'm aware of the things I believe in, but I don't just eat anything spititual or whatever, for answers or comfort. I actually enjoy not having a certain explaination and aswer to unknown things. I pretty much just follow my own head, cos none of my answers are anywhere. Except the ones I make up in my head... So I have my personal theories and it's not like someone can tell me they're wrong either.

Sometimes, I think it's not about us having all the answers inside our heads. It's maybe us not making the correct, precise questions. We just don't know how to ask ourselves. And sometimes, that implies asking questions to which we already know the answer to. And that's pretty fu**ed up!

P.S. About your Biology teacher... better leave it that way

Belljar wrote: James Lee wrote: "I understand about indecision, and I don't care if I get behind. People livin' in competition, all I want is to have my piece of mind." You may not care much for the band, but that's a lyric that has stuck with me. What band is that? It's a very good line. And also, what you said made alot of sense

I think that's Boston - Top band! "More Than A Feeling"?

King Headache: Thanks!

Belljar wrote: I just wanna believe there's something more

Believe me, there is. For me, there is not such thing as "the real meaning of life", it's all about playing your own lead in whatever you call "life". Bad or good, fair or unfair, enticing or ruthless... in the end, it's all about the life we were put on to live. Let's just make it suitable to be lived, and that's up to us. Let's pretend there's nothing between our world and the outside... it's simpler that way.

landberkdoten wrote: Belljar wrote: But I could not live without my ecapes from reality, music and meditation etc... ..That's my problem. Reality. I forgot what it is. I don't wanna remember anyway. That's practically inevitable. What would life be without its complexity and those journeys from whitin ?  Peace!

True! And that's when I'm most happy. When thinking too much about this sh*tty world, I feel so goddamn depressed. Pretty obvious how I feel by living in it. Too many awful people and too much ignorance.

Good thing I've got that to keep me sane (Or insane to mankind) I just wanna believe there's something more

King Headache wrote: You never get over it, you get used to it  ( Brave Marillion )

True.

I still write many lyrics based on that premise - call it angst-ridden, if you really must, but I find lyric writing theraputic. I posted one example on this very forum; http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=629&am p;am p;am p;PN=1&TPN=8 (scroll down a few posts...)

I've actually become very glad that there are so many hidden meanings to things that have to be dug for - gives me an extra purpose!

I think most people can relate. It's a matter of how much.

I think I would become insane if I was gonna study philosophy though.

It's funny how everyone thinks I smoke pot all the time, cos I'm always wrapped up in my own little world, thinking about things and situations that will never happen. It's not like I'm entirely unhappy. I have some great things going for me. I really like the school I'm at (for once!) But I could not live without my ecapes from reality, music and meditation etc...

..That's my problem. Reality. I forgot what it is. I don't wanna remember anyway.

Thank you all for your thoughts!

Peace

My personal philosphy on this matter is generalised and subjective, but the end result of much rational and objective thought. I considered many doctrines, and read many books on higher consciousness, schools of religious thought and the great philosophers in my journey to enlightenment, but managed through supreme effort to crystallise the deepest essence of all of these contemplations into a single phrase, that expresses the cumulated knowledge for all generations past, present and yet to come;

...

...

...

...

sh*t happens.

James Lee wrote: Constant soul-searching has its ups and downs- trust me, I'm a 30 year old with the brain of an awkward teenager. I'd tell you to study philosophy, but that's like telling you to take acid- it might lead to illumination, or insanity, or only more indecision. Usually by the time I arrive at a final thought, I've gone through so many conflicting opinions that inaction seems to be the only safe choice...at least once a day I recognize that I could be a lot better off if I'd just acted without thinking more. Does it get any better? Maybe, maybe not. The rest of the world is not going to catch up to you- you have to decide if you want to catch up with them and still maintain your individuality, or take the scarier route of pure idealism. "I understand about indecision, and I don't care if I get behind. People livin' in competition, all I want is to have my piece of mind." You may not care much for the band, but that's a lyric that has stuck with me.

 I can relate to you with all you're sayin',often enough people wondered if I ever am/was on somethin',believe you me it never gets any better,but this is the point that their normality is what I've always found way too funny. So let's stick together and laugh at these buddies that they reckon so little of ourselves and our ethics and subconscious/ultraterrenial analyzations!!!!!!!!!! 

Belljar wrote: I hate that other peoples ignorance upsets me so much. Everyone also just seems to have a perfect solution for everything. What they're gonna do and how they're gonna do it. They never question why. I just kinda float. It just seems kinda pointless. I want more, but I don't know how or where to dig for it and I have no patience. Everything has to have dramatic contrast in my life. Either I really love or really hate. I never just don't care. It really is all or nothing for me. I can't just settle for a life without the actual values I'm looking for. I hate that everyone never seems to think deep. I also envy them, cos it sure would be a hell of alot easier not to dig for unknown meaning all the time.

Been there, done that. I happen to be a determinant person myself. Whether it is or it is not. Once I make up my mind, I hardly take my thoughts and words back to come up with a brand new decision. I consider myself not subjective but relentless. My stubbornness brought me to where I stand now, either if it was by good or bad means, I have what I deserve. I know it may sound dorky to you, but it's all about not following the lead and be nothing but yourself. Sometimes, what happens before our eyes and mind appears certainly inexplicable and takes us to drift away deeply inside of us. There's no definition to what we feel and why, it's all about allowing ourselves to feel it. Maybe that ain't the kind of answer you're looking for, and regardless of the cost of looking that incongruent to you, I allowed myself to give you this quote from Molière: "Don't appear so scholarly, pray. Humanize your talk, and speak to be understood."

Land

I'm sorry for you then

I think it's more of a war agains myself, than agains other people.

I also think almost everyone feels like this