Rewriting classics... #1: Hotel California

to all! We've been rewriting this major classic in record time. The band management contacted me to offer us a contract for writing the next Eagles album (negotiations are going...but our price is high).

The complete lyrics:

On a lark shepherd's pie day, a drool went in my ear
One dwell of Conchitas, climbing up through my hair
Cup of bread called long distance, My ma a blistering fight
My beer grew heavy and the lights did spin
I had to flop on a kite.

Reached his hand in the pocket
To find my key to hell
Anglagard is sitting on a shelf
Or a pimpernel
Then he lift up the handle, and shoved her in the tray
There were chickens in the scary door, I brought a bird that say:

"Mushrooms in the ears of Lady Gina"
Take a card and play (take a card and play)
Take a bill and pay
Plenty of 'shrooms at the postal palace for ya
Amy's tiny ear (Amy's tiny ear)
Hugh can't buy a beer

Hugh's beer got Amy listed, she got a cat and friends
She caught a lot of sticky, sticky toys
That we all bend
What a sad intervenience, it's sticking the tail
There's snow in the driveway, And my snowblower failed

So I hauled up the capstan,
"Please bring me my knife"
And Gina said "Be careful with that utensil,
it can cut you in five"
And dill pickles are falling from Uruguay
Spicing up all the fiddles in your tights
Doesn't make you gay

Mushrooms in the ears of Lady Gina
Sue is such a slut (Sue is such a slut)
Living in a hut
They divvying up that good, old pack of bologna
Troglodytes are nice (Troglodytes are nice)
Cro-Magnons alike

Mickey's started peeling
His comb-over has lice
Then he said "Where is the pot and my dry ice?"
And in the lice remainders
Galadriel slayed the troll beast
He grabbed him in his greasy thighs
But I just can't raise the yeast

Barking in December, it was
Searching for my Brador
I ate my way through a thumbtack
Drinking tequila galore
"Some slacks!" said England Dan,
"We've been ordered to reweave.
Is this about something you want
but you can never ask?

"We've been ordered to reweave.

And in the lice remainders

His comb-over has lice

Sue is such a slut (Sue is such a slut)

Living in a hut