The Count Of Tuscany

And he took me for a ride

Then he started creeping mee

And I said 'don't kill me'

He said 'don't worry Petrucci.'

 

We first had A Change of Seasons, an incredibly profound epic, and now this?

 

It would be REALLY hilarious if it were exactly what happened to him. This is merely a story.

 

So here's my critique. Obviously the lyrics are awful and what not, but here are the main problems: first, the band is trying too hard to make the song legitmate. The lyrics are stupid and they put such serious music to it that it brings out the stupidity of those lyrics. LiquidEternity says it brings about a sense of humor and playfulness or whatever, but I completely disagree. The music does not sound humorous or playful at all. It sounds like they were trying to make this a serious epic song of sorts. There were no musical bits that were chuckle-eliciting or even remotely related to the lyrics. It doesn't sound playful, it just sounds funny (in the bad way) and sad considering who these guys are/were.

 

Then, I'm reading some talk about LaBrie's vocal work and let's face it, the guy is a great singer with many capabilities who can belt out all kinds of vocal glory and has in the past, but here he just sounds so dull and lifeless. However, what no one seems to have mentioned here is that the problem has nothing to do with LaBrie, it has to do with Portnoy and Petrucci and their awful lyrics. We've discussed the band's lack of inspiration in the other thread, and I would say that this is one of the most obvious signs of it. Mike and John are writing pure drivel and handing it over to LaBrie to sing, and that guy can't get into it. There's nothing for LaBrie to see, hear, feel, or whatever when he reads those lyrics and listens to their accompaniment. He has no personal connection and he can't even imagine one to make it seem like he does. When you listen to him singing back in the early 90s, his voice was wild with feeling. The band was overflowing with inspiration and LaBrie could really make a connection there and was most likely had a large part in writing the vocals. Even up through Octavarium, the man has put down some solid work that does not sound forced. But now, Mike and John just hand him the lyrics and they tell him more or less how they think it should be sung (you can see it in the Systematic Chaos bonus disc). LaBrie talks about trying to see the lyrics from the writer's perspective, but honestly, what can a man do with lyrics like those on the last couple of albums? He can sing whatever they want him to sing, but it's not coming from his "heart."

 

Dang, I always end up writing a lot.